Saturday, April 22, 2023

NAACP Sues Over HB #1020 (Update)

Update: The complaint is posted below.  

The NAACP sued the state of Mississippi in U.S. District Court after Governor Tate Reeves signed HB #1020 yesterday.   The complaint will not be available until Monday.  The NAACP issued the following statement: 

Today, the NAACP Office of General Counsel and Covington & Burling LLP filed a lawsuit in the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of Mississippi on behalf of the NAACP, the NAACP Mississippi State Conference, the Jackson Branch of the NAACP, and a number of Jackson residents and civil rights activists to challenge two new Mississippi statutes. The counsel team includes former Attorney General of the United States Eric H. Holder, Jr., Senior Counsel at Covington & Burling.

Lawmakers and Jackson residents have opposed both bills throughout the legislative session, citing outside attempts to increase policing without adequate training, silence dissent from Jackson residents, and strip residents of their voting power to elect judges and district attorneys who serve their interests.

Taken together, the two bills represent a state takeover of Jackson, MS. The first statute, S.B. 2343, which was signed by Governor Tate Reeves on Friday, April 21st, significantly expands the Capitol Complex Improvement District to bring the entire predominantly Black city of Jackson under control of the state-run Capitol Police. The bill will also significantly restrict Mississippi residents' ability to protest and hold demonstrations in and around buildings considered property of the state, requiring written approval from the Chief of the Capitol Police or the Commissioner of the Department of Public Safety before "any event" occurs.

The second bill, H.B. 1020, creates a new court with an unelected judge appointed by the Mississippi Supreme Court, which will have the ability to hear and determine all preliminary matters and criminal matters within the District. The bill also continues a court packing plan by appointing unelected Circuit Judges to the Seventh Circuit Court District in Hinds County.

NAACP President & CEO, Derrick Johnson released the following statement condemning the Mississippi legislature's move to infringe on the rights of Jackson's predominantly Black residents:

"As our country continues to face the reality and consequences of our broken law enforcement and criminal justice systems, passing legislation to increase policing, install undemocratically appointed judges, and infringe on the constitutional right to protest is simultaneously irresponsible and dangerous. To be clear – this legislation is nothing new. The people of Jackson have been silenced and have faced years of discriminatory disinvestment and neglect from the state government which led to the major water crisis they are still dealing with to this day. If elected officials in Mississippi want to help address the results of their negligence and improve the lives of Jackson residents, they should start with completing improvements to Jackson's water system, not undermining the constitutional rights of their citizens.

Black Jacksonians need real investment in their infrastructure and complete control over the future of their city. The NAACP will do whatever it takes to protect Jackson residents from the elected officials that continue to fail them. We will continue to collaborate and mobilize with the people of Jackson to ensure their voices are heard and rights are protected."

The NAACP encourages concerned members of the public to sign a petition asking the Mississippi state legislature and Governor Tate Reeves to protect the rights of Jackson residents to control their own resources, such as their water system, elect local judges, and ensure that residents continuing the fight for safe drinking water will not be unconstitutionally silenced.

Former Attorney General of the United States and Senior Counsel at Covington & Burling L.L.P, Eric H. Holder, Jr., released the following statement in support of NAACP's continued advocacy:

"Mississippi House Bill 1020 and Senate Bill 2343 represent a disturbing regression, rolling back decades of progress by stripping Jackson residents of their fundamental right to democratically elect leaders, undermining the authority of those they have elected, and severely restricting their first amendment right to freedom of speech. This Legislative body has proven that they are uninterested in upholding their sworn oath to protect the constitutional rights of their constituents, including the majority Black residents of Jackson.

Once again, the responsibility has fallen on us - Black advocates and citizens - to hold state lawmakers accountable and fight back against this dangerous legislation. I am proud to work collaboratively with the NAACP to force these undemocratic lawmakers to answer for their brazen, historically resonant actions in the public sphere – and in a court of law."

Over the past year, the NAACP has worked closely with leaders and residents in Jackson to address the State of Mississippi's gross mishandling of the water crisis and the history of inequities that caused it. In September, the NAACP filed a Title VI Complaint for Investigation of the state's discriminatory allotment of federal funds which resulted in a federal civil rights investigation. NAACP Director of Environmental and Climate Justice, Abre' Conneralso testified before Congress, providing expert analysis of the neglect and disinvestment in Jackson and the broader, national implications of infrastructure failures. NAACP leaders continue to monitor the recovery process in collaboration with Jackson Mayor Chokwe Lumumba and EPA Administrator Michael Regan and ensure that the community is aware of the progress and decisions made.

Update: The complaint is posted below.  Some choice excerpts of the complaint are: 

2.   In violation of the Fourteenth Amendment, these laws target Jackson’s majority-Black residents on the basis of race for a separate and unequal policing structure and criminal justice system to which no other residents of the State are subjected. Under this new regime and unlike in any other jurisdiction in Mississippi, in certain areas of Jackson, a citizen can be arrested by a police department led by a State-appointed official, be charged by a State-appointed prosecutor, be tried before a State-appointed judge, and be sentenced to imprisonment in a State penitentiary regardless of the severity of the act.

7.   H.B. 1020 expands the CCID to approximately 17.5 square miles to include roughly half of the white population of Jackson, when only 15 percent of the entire population of Jackson is white....

One that seizes control of Jackson’s criminal justice system by (1) packing the existing Circuit Court with unelected judges, thus stripping Jackson residents of the right enjoyed by all other Mississippi residents to Circuit Court judges who live in the community and are locally elected, (2) creating a parallel and locally unaccountable judicial system within the CCID (the “CCID Court”), making Jackson the only municipality in Mississippi with a population over 10,000 where a judge exercising the powers of a Municipal Court need not be a resident of the City and is not appointed by the City’s elected leadership, and (3) installing prosecutors appointed by the Attorney General (who is white and is appointed by a white Governor) to bring charges within the CCID, singling out Jackson’s residents for prosecution by officials who are not overseen by a locally elected member of their community (the “judicial takeover provisions”);...

36. During this legislative session, for example, the State enacted legislation,H.B. 698, which limits Jackson’s ability to establish equitable and financially sustainable water billing rates in the manner proposed by the court-appointed Interim Third Party Manager in United States v. City of Jackson, Case 3:22-cv-00686-HTW-LGI. The State has also enacted new provisions targeting Jackson with enhanced scrutiny and reporting regarding the consistency of special sales tax revenue expenditures with sales tax commission priorities. H.B. 1168. (KF: So NAACP is all for basing water/sewer bills on property values.)...

45.  Jackson’s residents can vote directly for their sheriff and, through electing their mayor, influence the appointment of their police chief. But they have no such power with respect to the DPS or the Capitol Police....

49.  This expansion of the jurisdiction of the DPS and the Capitol Police exposes Jackson’s residents and only Jackson’s residents to what amounts to triple policing....

65.   The Capitol Police has also struggled with the more basic aspects of protecting Jackson’s residents—something S.B. 2343 asks them to do much more. As of the passage of S.B. 2343, the Capitol Police has only one investigator (detective) and has none of the infrastructure traditionally associated with investigating or responding to criminal activity....

86.   First, the statute doubles the size of the Hinds County Circuit Court and packs it with State-appointed judges. Section 1 commands the Chief Justice of the Mississippi Supreme Court to appoint four temporary special circuit judges for Hinds County’s Seventh Circuit Court District.... (The complaint states the Chief Justice appointed four justices to assist the elected justices in 2020 due to the pandemic and renewed their appointment in 2022.).  

 

The complaint mentions additional grievances


* The Capitol Police has not banned chokeholds nor dangerous pursuits.  

* Other states have a version of a "Capitol Police" but have not given those agencies the broad jurisdiction enjoyed by the Mississippi Capitol Police. 

* Citizens must get permission to demonstrate or protest on state property in the CCID.  


The case has not yet been assigned to a U.S. District Judge.  Attorneys Carroll Rhodes, Jannette Leonard, Anthony Ashton, Joe Schottenfeld, Carol Browner, and The Eric Holder represent the plaintiffs. 

 

71 comments:

Anonymous said...

In this "woke" society, how is the "CP' in NAACP still acceptable?

Anonymous said...

Extra butter on my popcorn please, and gimme some of those Junior Mints.

Anonymous said...

And of course, CNN has already jumped on this news. They even have a photo of Lumumba, looking dejected and always the victim in their story.
How evil and cruel of the white people for wanting to stop crime.
How dare they?

Anonymous said...

Nothing new here, the NAACP said a couple of days ago they would sue. I have no doubt that the case will get assigned to Judge Reeves who will rule that HB 1020 is unconstitutional, and it will then get appealed to the 5th circuit who will rule that it is constitutional and slap Judge Reeves like they do every time.

Anonymous said...

But, of course. Why work to solve problems when the race card is available?

Anonymous said...

The “predominantly black” city and local idiot city government can’t take care of themselves so the adults have to step in to resolve the problem. There’s no racism except from Choke Crime Family and the NAACP Mafia, hoping for a check and screen time.

Anonymous said...

Nary a peep about the water/sewer system that has been handed off (in an agreement made behind closed doors) to an out-of-towner who is privatizing the whole shebang and wants to levy an onerous water tax on Jackson property owners in lieu of consumption-based billing. And all of this is supervised by a federal judge who lives in Clinton.

Anonymous said...

They are going to win this one boys and girls. The state can only go so far and this time they overstepped. Just the facts we don’t like it but the state wasted time and money on this one.

Anonymous said...

In other news, water is wet. You knew it was coming. NAACP should sue Lumumba for disenfranchising the citizens of Jackson with his complete and utter failure to manage basic city governance and responsibilities. He is Lori Lightfoot Jr. But it’s all in their plan. George Soros and company would be proud of the disruptions.

Anonymous said...

Nothing unconstitutional about the bill.

Anonymous said...

That the same Eric holder who was running guns down to old Mexico under Obama?

Anonymous said...

The crackheads are suing because their crack got taken away.

Anonymous said...

There is a good opportunity to settle this amicably. Just deed all city government owned property within the Jackson city to the NAACP.
That way the NAACP can straighten out everything they complain about. While they are at it, they can change the name of the city and rename the streets. This ordeal will do nothing but further erode property values and city services.

Kingfish said...

What's disgusting is how many of these black politicians screaming about the bill were praising it in private, saying it was much needed.

Anonymous said...

Attn Kingfish 2:45 It is indeed disgusting, but not at all unexpected.

Anonymous said...

If I were a property owner in Jackson (and thank goodness I am not) i would be furious. People work all of their lives for property they can be proud of, then the NAACP comes in and devalues the property. Reminiscent of Germany and Italy pre WW2.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, KF, heard that, too, through the grapevine. At least, Kenny said it publicly.

Anonymous said...

I guess the logical solution is to move the capitol so as to not impede the locals in their quest to live in crime ridden poverty as long as they are in charge.

Anonymous said...

@2:45 !

Truth!

Anonymous said...

In their press release they whine that judges under HB1020 will not be elected by the people.

Wait, no mention that ALL federal judges, and ALL justices are appointed by the president. Not one administrative law judge at any level is elected. Federal magistrate judges aren't elected either. Minor details. Right?

The federal judge who will hear this nuisance and costly law suit is...wait for it...not elected either.

NE Jackson, form your own city! It won't get any better!

If we can't say what NAACP translates to, I guess we have to say "the C word."

Anonymous said...

Just wondering what the NAACP's solution to the water situation would have been? Would still be? The State of Mississippi, including citizens of the city of Jackson, has an interest in being able to provide safe drinking water to its employees and to protect State property from fire. When the State and the EPA entered into the water situation, the City was providing neither safe drinking water nor fire protection.

Anonymous said...

Think it is time to seriously consider moving the State government buildings and Capital out of Jackson. Looks like the city of Jackson’s biggest expense in this administration is going to be legal fees. Would be interesting to see how much the city has paid on lawyers in this administration.

Anonymous said...

Please move the State Capitol and State employees out. Quit spending tax dollars where they aren’t welcome. Jackson freely elected the path they are on. That’s democracy!

Anonymous said...

I quit reading at 'Eric Holder.

When on the path of life, you are suddenly faced with a large pile of wet bull shit, go around it. Don't attempt to go through or over it. Those options will only bog you down and the stink will hang with you.

Anonymous said...

I am saddened by the fact that Attorney General Lynn Fitch has the obligation to defend the State of Mississippi. May God help the state.

Anonymous said...

I don't think this is the NAACP so much as it is Harvey Johnson's brother, who happens to be the current head of the NAACP.

I wonder how many more times nationally-prominent black people are going to get shucked by Jackson crooks before they finally wise-up. Somebody get Eric Holder a 10-foot pole.

Of course, the elephant in the room is the fact that Lumumba systematically demoralized and gutted the Jackson Police Department, and oversaw record-setting numbers of homicides, while gangs operate with impunity. Heck, he won't even say the words "Jackson" and "gangs" in the same sentence.

Anonymous said...

there is only one way to save this state from the race hustlers............................

recind the treaty of dancing rabbit creek and the treaty of doaks stand and hand the state back to the mississippi band of choctaw
indians , and become one big indian reservation.

Anonymous said...

@ 2:10 - Put the pipe down, step away from pitching quarters at the line on McDowell and put your money where your mouth is.

Don't wanta judge too quickly, but you sound a lot like Kenny Wayne on Gallo the other day. Now, about that wager...

Anonymous said...

Racist grifters will grift.

Anonymous said...

2:31 And didn’t a couple of Federal Agents lose their lives because of the guns illegally sold or traded by Eric Holder? Forgive me but what the heck does water have to do with crime or Capitol Police everyone? Right so MS needs to follow other states and start charging parents for the crimes of their juvenile kids! Right?

Anonymous said...

The NAACP is complaining that the new judges won't be elected, but rather appointed.

They will be going before a federal judge who was.....wait for it..... APPOINTED, not elected.

Anonymous said...

Good! I am glad to see the NAACP has some balls, and is taking it to the state. It is far past time for someone to call it what it is—racism!

Anonymous said...

Will AG Lynn Fitch be able to defend this suit or is she still busy suing China?

Anonymous said...

I have no idea how a municipal judge is capable of sentencing someone to “a state penitentiary.” I guess the complaint was drafted before they saw the final version of the law.

Anonymous said...

Who wants to explain to the NAACP that the Attorney General is elected and not appointed by the Governor?

I don't know why it matters that these two statewide elected officials are white when anyone of any race was free to run and campaign for those offices.

Also, am I the only one who is uneasy about the complaint centering its argument around everyone's skin color? In my opinion the complaint is racist and is asking for the federal government to fashion a racist solution that satisfies the racist authors of the racist complaint.

Anonymous said...

And who elected Judge Reeves again?
Ohhh, that's right...

Anonymous said...

They suing to keep things the way they are now?

Anonymous said...

“Black Jacksonians need real investment in their infrastructure and complete control over the future of their city.”

At least he’s honest for once. Whites aren’t welcome, and they don’t want any white involvement of any sort in the city. While at the same time he whines about discriminatory divestment. Whites aren’t welcome, whites leave, but they still want the whites’ money.

Anonymous said...

This is going to blow up in Taters face and the GOP on the National level, just like DeSaints heavy handed tactics with Mickey.

Anonymous said...

@11:00 PM - You watched three episodes of Perry Mason, correct?

Anonymous said...

"The NAACP will do whatever it takes to protect Jackson residents from the elected officials that continue to fail them." That's rich! I guess they don't understand the irony of that statement.

Anonymous said...

@6:59 AM - Let me fix that for you.

"The NAACP will do whatever it takes to protect (black) Jackson residents from the (white) elected officials that continue to fail them."

Anonymous said...

Can one of you HB 1020 opponents articulate what harm you think this new law might cause? Why, in a basically lawless city, you don’t want someone trying to reduce crime?

Anonymous said...

Do the people at the naacp have speech writers with even a high school education? None of their statements make sense pertaining to elected leaders. Well, for the “monitors” who are constantly checking the comments and how many many many of us feel about this, many of us know the naacp will be at your churches this morning taking up donations. All of your tax free status should be ripped from you. I hope that many of the monitors read this and report back to their so called leaders as soon as possible.

Anonymous said...

@6:00am

One doesn't have to have watched Perry Mason to discuss how easily a state-level issue can be blown out of proportion into a very serious "national" PR disaster for anything at all these days. This phenomenon has only just developed really in the last 10-15 years with social media.

A very serious reckoning will be forthcoming for Mississippi that is long overdue when the national news truly decides to sink its teeth into what is STILL happening in Mississippi on so many levels. There IS a reason Mississippi is at the bottom of SO MANY performance indicators.

Throughout the halls of "power" in Mississippi walk deeply entrenched racists - men and women officials, judges, agency leaders, healthcare professionals, etc. If you're not in "the club" then you don't have access to the better paying jobs, nor ability to get a fair ruling.

The credit can be given to the progeny of L.Q.C Lamar as it was, for it was predictably he who decided to spearhead the effort in Jackson to bolster protection of the Big House, all while spouting that "it's in their best interest, because they can't do it for themselves".

That old-timey racist patriarchy is why Mississippi is last in everything, regardless of what the blowhard Russ Latino says.

Anonymous said...

National Association for the Advancement of Communist People

Anonymous said...

The cold hard fact is nobody outside of Jackson really cares what Jackson does to further destroy itself and most feel it is a lost cause. What the state is trying to do is protect the remaining refugees and their own interest until they can get out of there.

Anonymous said...

@5:50, I told you guys the Mayor would win the Garbage Disposal battle and he did. Now I am telling you that the state will lose this case, take it to the bank, this will be decided in favor of the City to set taxes and fees as it sees fit. That's the lynchpin her boys and girls.

Anonymous said...

Carlton Reeves has been such a disappointment. His peers played the game, bleating that he would be "fair" and non partisan and not a political hack. What a crock. Same Judiciary Committee that called Pickering Sr. a racist (after he testified against the Klan in the early 60s and lost everything; and despite the endorsement of the MS and national NAACP) let this racist leftist guy on the bench. For life. As an APPOINTED Judge.

Yet, as always, upon receiving a Dem lifetime APPOINTMENT (hmmm, where has that come up saying that is racist and unfair?), he is a reliable anti pro life activist, antiwhite, antigun, parroting the Dem party line.

So, of COURSE, racist Derrick appeals to racist Carlton, bleating that the APPOINTED Judge, who can use APPOINTED Federal Law Officers and sees ALL appointed prosecutors, to use oversight powers to stop oversight and only allowed elected judges. Hmmmm. Oh, not just the irony, but the hypocrisy.

The mental gymnastics in black state lawmakers and the Civil Rights Industry CEO secretly supporting this last ditch effort to use state powers to save blacks and then using this racist complaint is tortuous. But, I'm not a biologist.

Anonymous said...

@6:00 it will not matter in Missippi since there are not many of them, but college educated Republican women are staying home or voting for independents and democrats. You don’t need Perry to figure it out, just ask Della.

Anonymous said...

Jive-ass Derrick Johnson makes the ridiculous statement that "The NAACP will do whatever it takes to protect Jackson residents from the elected officials that continue to fail them". WHERE HAVE THEY BEEN? It's no different than their actions regarding black on black crime. IT DOES NOT EXIST until a white person is involved. WHAT A JIVE-ASS outfit and a failure to their own people.

Anonymous said...

I, for one, support fully the National Association of Always Complaining People in this lawsuit. It's plainly obvious, the solution to the JQ, the Jackson Question: Give grants to local black leaders in amounts of money they estimate is needed to make repairs. Then stand back and watch Jackson grow like a weed.

Anonymous said...

@9:15am
Lil Choke wanted a 6 yr contract for RDI for 970M per year, got a 1 yr emergency deal for 800M. How is that a win?

Anonymous said...

When they start calling out and protesting the chief executive of the city for the last 6 years, Chockwe Antar Lumumba, I might start to take them seriously.

I note there are no arguments that the new law violates the state constitution/state law, which are the arguments I'd expect from real attorneys.

I still think the main purpose of the law to is prevent the Capital Police from being prosecuted for doing their jobs, in order to score political points for Lumumba.

Anonymous said...

That whole paragraph that begins "Black Jacksonians need real investment..."and complete control over the future of their city" shows how seriously misdirected this organization has become. Blacks will never get the White investment dollars it depends on and also get "complete control" of the city without the input of the White investors. The world does not work that way but it serves these race hustler to pretend it does. They maintain their control of the ignorant masses with such stupidity but they only insure Jackson's failure.

Anonymous said...

The state is damned if they do (try to reduce crime) and damned if they don’t.

Anonymous said...

It looks like the city of Jackson completely forgot the month they were without water. Who do they think got their water back on? If they would have waited on Chuck to get their water back on they would still not have water. Funny how easy it is to forget things like that.

Anonymous said...

The protected problem class. What would we do without them?

Anonymous said...

@ 12: 14 PM you mean per month , that's roughly 808m per month, not for 1 year, the city of Jackson will be paying Richards until the emergency contract ends in 2024.

Anonymous said...

@ 12:14 PM you mean 808,000 per month, not for 1 year, the city of Jackson will paying Richards for the 1 year contract that ends in 2024.

Anonymous said...

So the NAACP believes that the state has no right to enforce state laws within a municipality?
I use to want to save Jackson, but if they don’t want any help with fighting crime or having clean water and working sewer, then leave and let it fail.

Anonymous said...

I don’t believe Derrick Johnson’s NAACP represents the average black person but any more than the Klan represents me. These are people with agendas of their own, and they don’t give a damn about us.

Anonymous said...

Will you please post the final bill?

Anonymous said...

What we need is an alien invasion. That way humanity could unite against a common enemy and stop fighting among ourselves. Do you think this could be why we are seeing more and more news about UFOs?

Anonymous said...

@8:54 aka 10:35 accidentally nailed it with this comment: "There IS a reason Mississippi is at the bottom of SO MANY performance indicators."

You are exactly right! And that reason is the chirping, annoying race-baiting of radical groups like the NAAColoredPeople, the sheep who lie down with them and, of course, the voter base in Mississippi that elects what they deserve.

Those components of the failure-formula won't change so it's assumed we can go no lower than 'last'.

At the end of the day, struggle as we might, we will always have what's known as common denominators.

Anonymous said...

I would just keep repeating crime is the number one problem in Jackson CNN even though we didnt have running water last year and trash diposal just back and our roads we will discuss later. Yes CNN those are all bad but crime is even worse. So if you really are stopping someone from helping with crime, what is your motive? Is it helping Jackson?

Anonymous said...

6:13 (if you’re not trolling) and the NAACP,

Jackson basically had a murder rate of 1 in 1,000 in 2021. If it maintained that pace for the next ten years. That would mean 1 in 100 current Jacksonians would be murder victims over ten years. So you want 1 percent of the people in Jackson to die sometime this decade or early next decade? That’s sick.

Crime was getting way out of hand until the State and Cap Police stepped up. I guess the NAACP is ready to give all Jackson property and business owners a crap ton of money, since they are messing with their net worths? As well as ready to say “sorry” to the murder victims families and friends. Weirdos focus on race. Think, the NAACP, ACLU, and SPLC people probably think about skin color whenever they are working. How weird is that?

Anonymous said...

SECTION 17.

If any section, paragraph, sentence, clause, phrase or any part of this act is declared to be unconstitutional or void, or if for any reason is declared to be invalid or of no effect, the remaining sections, paragraphs, sentences, clauses, phrases or parts of this act shall be in no manner affected thereby but shall remain in full force and effect.

SECTION 18.

This act shall take effect and be in force from and after July 1, 2023.

Anonymous said...

@11:24. Well that was pretty smart.

Anonymous said...

Undisputed fact that the State has been providing temporary unelected docket relief circuit judges for years now will present a serious hurdle for this lawsuit to overcome.

Undisputed fact that Johnson, NAACP, et al did not file suit on first day of CCID Police Department operation will present a serious hurdle for this lawsuit to overcome.

The lawsuit will fail.

Anonymous said...

@11:24 I thought the senate changed the date to June or July of 2024 for this to into effect. Something about needing to change the broken 911 system.
I have seen news reports of it being this year, but I was sure of it being next year.
Can anyone please verify? I would love to be wrong on this.


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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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