Tuesday, October 11, 2022

Flowood Woman Somehow Survives Savagery

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Update (10/12/22): Mardis posted bond yesterday and was released.  

Rankin County Court Judge David Morrow set bond at $750,000 for Jason Todd Mardis this morning after Flowood police arrested him for aggravated domestic violence Friday.  Broken bones, torn-out hair, and a lacerated liver are just some of the savagery Mardis allegedly unleashed upon his wife the night of October 4.  Justice may indeed be served one day but it won't erase the horror that will forever scar her long after the wounds heal.  

 

Mardis is President of Capital Preservation Services, LLC.  The company is known for advising physicians on tax planning and investments.    

The Flowood Municipal Court denied bond for the defendant at his initial appearance.  Judge Morrow held his preliminary hearing this morning. Rankin-Madison County Assistant District Attorney Greg Miles submitted a motion to deny bond.  Attorney John Collette represented the defendant.  

Judge Morrow held a brief huddle at the bench before binding the defendant over to the grand jury.  The Assistant District Attorney called Flowood police detective Aaron Messer to testify about the arrest. 

Sergeant Messer testified Mardis and his wife met another couple for dinner at McLain's Lodge on the evening of October 4.  An argument that began at the restaurant ended in violence at the Mardis home in Lineage Lake of Lakeland in Flowood.  Security video showed Mardis punching his wife in the stomach before throwing the unconscious woman on the ground "like she was a rag doll."  He allegedly proceeded to slap her several times and dragged her across the pavement by her hair.   

Collette objected to the testimony, arguing it had nothing to do with a motion to deny bond.  Miles replied an accounting of what took place that night showed the defendant is a danger to the community, thus grounds for denying bond.  Judge Morrow denied the objection.

The Flowood detective stated her injuries were:

1. Fractured right ankle

2. Fractured left cheekbone

3. Lacerated liver

4. Broken ribs (#10 and #11)

5. Strangulation marks on her neck

6. Missing hair on her head

7. Extensive bruising on her left arm and stomach.  

 


 

The victim was hospitalized at St. Domic Hospital but her injuries required her to be transferred to UMMC. Mardis flew the next morning to Tampa on his private jet on a business trip.  His attorney, John Colette, said the trip was already planned.  

A Rankin County deputy received information about the alleged assault and notified Flowood police on October 6.  Detective Messer interviewed the victim at the hospital.  Flowood police arrested Mardis at 2 PM October 7 at the Jackson International Airport when he returned from Tampa.  

Waiving his rights, the defendant said he hit his wife with an open hand but did not recall how she got from the vehicle to the house.  However, the detective said police obtained video from three security cameras showing the assault.  

Urging the Court to deny bond, Miles argued Mardis is a flight risk due to his wealth. His access to a private plane allowed him to leave town twelve hours after the alleged assault.  Collette replied Mardis returned on his volition to Mississippi as the business trip was already planned.  He asked for bond of $250,000 with electronic monitoring.  

Judge Morrow solemnly said "this is one of those cases where me as an individual has a different opinion from one as a judge. At a personal level, I would deny bond in a red-hot minute."  However, the Jurist said Mardis is entitled to a bond as the Court must follow the bond guidelines.  Judge Morrow said he was departing from the bond guidelines due to the "violence that was egregious and "mind-boggling. She is fortunate she is alive."  

The Court set bond at $750,000 for Jason Todd Mardis.  He will be subjected to GPS electronic monitoring (with exclusion zones) upon release.  The Court issued a no-contact order and said he can not leave Mississippi without the Court's permission.  

The sentence for aggravated domestic violence ranges from two years to twenty years in prison. 


282 comments:

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Anonymous said...

one would hope that others would read this and not support any person in a business that is capable of what he has done. Having to run a weed eater to make ends meet should be the best he ever knows moving forward.

Anonymous said...

What a low life piece of shit....the state can't send his ass to Parchman quick enough and when he gets there someone in her family needs to visit the prison camp and let the other inmates know why he's there....justice will then be served

Anonymous said...

What kind of monster can do this to a person, much less one that he loved enough to marry?

How pathetic. I hope he gets a similar dose of punishment to let him know how it feels.

Anonymous said...

Every one of you white knights would be too chicken shit to say something to this guy’s face. She fucked around around and found out. Guess the police couldn’t get there in time to stop him from cashing the checks her mouth was writing.

Anonymous said...

Todd Mardis and some of his connections will attempt to buy him out of this one. And they might succeed.

I hope his wife has the sense to leave this time. She should have left before. I pray she does it this time.

Anonymous said...

looking at his facebook page the guy is the ultimate family man. He must have been high on some crazy stuff to throw away his life like that. Hope he preserved his capital.

Anonymous said...



This guy first is a piece of shit. Second he destroyed his business in one night, one night. I hope she cleans their bank accounts, takes the kids and leaves his ass to the boys in prison. Anyone that would do what he did needs to serve a long time and die in the slammer.

Anonymous said...

1:34 you are disgusting. Todd Mardis is a coward's coward. Have a problem with your wife?? Then go to counseling, get a divorce, give her an ass-chewing. etc. But you can't physically beat her. He's a loser. Always has been.

Anonymous said...

DBol and spray tans are always a recipe for disaster.

Anonymous said...

More jock-sniffers: this time, it's not politicians, but doctors: doctors who've deluded themselves about their physical attraction to this guy.

The cover of his book, says it all. Anyone who poses for a book, with hair spiked-up, "Relevant-style", wearing a blazer and dress shirt, but tieless ("Relevant-style", again), is not to be trusted, in my opinion. The tielessness is enough to tell me he's running a con, or fronting for people who're running a con.

Anonymous said...

Give the man a break. It’s not easy managing an instagram lifestyle. This is a classic mistake of mixing uppers for breakfast, steroids for lunch, and alcohol with a side of downers for dinner.

Anonymous said...

@1:49
Right, a loser worth over $100 million with a private jet.

Again, none of you tough guys would have the balls to disrespect him to his face!

Why? Because he would beat you like a rag doll too!

Feminism is all about equality.

She got exactly what a disrespectful man would get!

Anonymous said...

@ 1:34

Actually I would venture to say that in fact MOST of us would say something to this guys face. The majority of us wouldn't be afraid of a guy who gets his jollies off slapping 110 pound girl around.

Oh and for the record, your wifes mouth cannot write checks that her ass cant cash" That kind of logic is how one winds up in Jail. If your going to insist on the mouth-check- ass- cashing mantra, that should be man to man. Otherwise its man to wuss, which you very likely.....are.

Anonymous said...

He looks like a 'roid head. Behavior such as this is common amongst his type.

Anonymous said...

Collette has a job to do, I get it, but he left his wife to die(probably not knowing she had a lacerated liver) after he beat the shit out of her, and flew out of town. Collette is just as big of a piece of shit as he is for arguing the trip was already planned. What it shows is he has zero remorse for what he did. He netted out of town like that beating was not big deal. F-that guy.

Anonymous said...

Roil rage. He deserves to fry or life in prison.

Anonymous said...

He looks like a "macho man". Disgusting. Looks like the guy @ 1:34 is the kind of guy that would worship him. losers.

Anonymous said...

Prison won't be kind to his type.

Anonymous said...

@2:02 correction, I think you meant "a loser who used to be worth over $100 million with a private jet."

Anonymous said...

@2:09 I agree. Collette has a job to do. But evidently he has no issue sleeping at night after trying to claim this guy wasn't a flight risk and working to get him freed. I couldn't stomach it. But anything for a dollar I guess when you are an attorney.

Anonymous said...

@1:49 If I have to beat my wife nearly to death to get $100 million with a private jet, then no thanks. I don't need the money that bad.

Anonymous said...

Todd, if you read this when you bond out, I hope you get what you deserve. You are an embarrassment to the good family that surrounds you.

Anonymous said...

@ 2:02 wow just wow. I assume you give each other a reach-a-rounds much as you are in love with him. Money does not equate to winner. In a lot of cases it reveals the opposite. I don't care about a plane or a 100 million. He beat the mother of his children half to death. He might be a "bad ass" in your world. If that was my daughter they could get the ankle bracelet off of him at the morgue.

Anonymous said...

@202, I'm guessing you are 1:34, as well. I'm assuming you are not simply a troll, but actually believe the BS you wrote.

"Worth over $100 Million with a private jet"....shows you can't buy class. He's not worth crap.

And you must be his lacky for coming on the board trying to defend the indefensible. Your argument is she deserved it? Understand this...nothing she could have done could have caused her to deserve this.

And you should know this, as well. Someone like this can't be disrespected to his face, because he would first have to have respect. He has none. He is clearly a loathsome creature that deserves what is coming his way.

Anonymous said...

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwiuyPDD89j6AhX1kGoFHSuMBUgQFnoECAoQAQ&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.casemine.com%2Fjudgement%2Fus%2F5b6bd1998f67d62969ddcb74&usg=AOvVaw1ePQ3IkA_Jpt3W9HePKdNn

Surprised he is still described as wealthy given the 4 million judgement against him in the above referenced case. Lost on a bench verdict after he was caught destroying evidence. My understanding was that he filed both corporate and personal bankruptcy in 2018 after the verdict. If the link isn't functional google Tax Law Solutions vs Todd Mardis.

Anonymous said...

I hope she is somewhere safe. I’m glad there were security cameras to prove what happened.

Anonymous said...

@2:02 $100 million and a jet just like all the other fakes in town...right.

Anonymous said...

@1:34 any man that hits a woman is a BITCH. no ifs ands or buts about it

Anonymous said...

A few things:

Todd's wife (KF probably doesn't want us to use her name), you can do better and you deserve better. Don't go back to him this time.

Rankin County Deputy, thank you for notifying Flowood PD.

Flowood PD, thanks for working on this despite the pressure you have received to drop it because of Todd's money and influence. You are doing the right thing.

Wrong is wrong and we shouldn't condone this behavior.

I hope Todd's family and friends support him through this. However, if a single one of you use your influence to try to persuade the police, judge, etc. to drop this or be lenient, then you are complicit in this behavior. Todd deserves forgiveness. He also deserves severe punishment.

Anonymous said...

Yeah I highly doubt this guy is worth $100 million. This guy screams of trying to appear wealthy while accumulating massive amounts of personal debt.

Anonymous said...

Roid Rage

Anonymous said...

@1:34 and @2:02 is definitely the guy in question here.

Anonymous said...

Sad thing is while he may deserve to lose his business over his behavior, the loss of his business will further damage his already broken wife and children.

Anonymous said...

Rankin County needs to do something about the white on white crime. It's getting out of control.

Anonymous said...

How do you face your children after doing that to their mother?

Anonymous said...

Would any client trust this hot headed idiot with their life's wealth after this? I know I would have my accounts out of there before the clock hit 5 today.

Anonymous said...

Get @1:34/@2:02 some kneepads, and quick. Todd is gonna meet Tyrone upstate. He will not like Tyrone. Especially on Thursdays.

Anonymous said...

3:06 Yes and think about how this will affect his employees and their families. This guy is truly an idiot.

Anonymous said...

I met this arrogant P.O.S. 10 years ago when I was out with my female friends having dinner at a local restaurant. He came over to our table and proceeeded to flirt with all of us and make the most arrogant comments I’ve ever heard a man make. He did all of this with his very sweet wife (who several of my friends know personally) still sitting at their table watching him do it. We were making obvious comments for him to leave. When his wife had finally seen enough, she came to the table and very kindly spoke to us, then told him she was ready to go and walked toward the door. He turned to us and said ‘she can’t go anywhere I pay for that vehicle!’ I could not believe his arrogance and told him He needed to go take his beautiful wife home, he had obviously married way over his head!’ He was very perturbed that I had said it.
I’ve never met a more arrogant, prideful, spray-tanned, wealthy ASSHOLE in my entire life! I hope he rots in jail for the things he’s done to that precious woman. I hope he gets the abuse that he has given to her NO DOUBT throughout their 30+ years of marriage! There is NO excuse for this kind of savagery!

Women who are enduring abusive husbands, husbands who are enduring abusive wives… GET OUT NOW. It will only get worse and this COULD happen to you!

Anonymous said...

Why do doctors and lawyers need a wealth management firm anyway? Put your savings in an S&P 500 index fund. 80% of these wealth gurus can't even beat the S&P 500, so save the fees and just invest in an S&P 500 mutual fund.

Anonymous said...

but he attends church every week..is a great dad-just look at all the photos of him with his kids..

i'm guessing he beats it..too well connected.

Anonymous said...

Mardis and Dibiase can wrestle in prison.

Anonymous said...

What happened to this young lady is terrible, and I’m glad she survived. Nobody deserves this kind of hatred a violence.

As to the people commenting here on this guys net worth- it’s an irrelevant issue- but he is an insurance agent. He may have been successful in business, but the idea that he’s worth $100M is a joke.

Anonymous said...

October 11, 2022 at 2:29 PM, as a father, sir, I second your motion to remove the ankle monitor at the morgue.

Anonymous said...

Roid Rage?

Anonymous said...

He looks like a washed up WWE guy.

Anonymous said...

The Alston Family sends its condolences to the wife.

Anonymous said...

@3:29 nailed it. As well as another that said living the Instagram life is tough.

I've never met the guy, but just looking at him, I know SO many like him. Styled hair, perfect teeth, physically fit, spray tan, the whole works. I'll also bet he drives a lifted F250 or HD2500, wears bedazzled jeans, exotic boots and roots vigorously for a sportsball team of a school he never attended.

As for the troll defending him; there's always someone bigger and badder out there. He may find this out, or he may get out of it. I don't know. But you remind me of the little dog following the bulldog in the Looney Tunes cartoon.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, he's on roids and clearly trains hard. But when he's been sitting on his ass with no roids available in main pop, he's gonna be shriveled up and weak.

The first time he looks at the wrong person the wrong way, he'll be suddenly waking up in the middle of the night in sheer terror to find out what a shank in HIS liver feels like lying on the floor in the dark.

Anonymous said...

All you UMMC haters need to re-read that post.

Anonymous said...

@3:26 Your story sounds just like the Todd Mardis that I know. Arrogant, prideful. He was always full of himself.

@3:29 I'm not a lawyer. I too think he could normally beat it if he convinces his wife to not press charges. But the problem is that the injuries and the video exist. My understanding is that the authorities can press charges even if the wife doesn't testify or pursue it. The video is probably damning. I don't believe it will go to trial. He will plea bargain, get counseling, serve 18 months house arrest.

But kudos to the Rankin County deputy and the Flowood Police for pursuing this. They are going to get some pressure, as will the judge and DA, to just sweep this under the rug. But it needs to be about right and wrong, innocence and guilt, following the law.

Anonymous said...

The more I read the happier I am that that I don't have clue to who this is!

Anonymous said...

No he is not worth $100 million. He may make a half million to a million per year but there’s a different in being rich and having a high income. He spent most of the income convincing people he was rich. Once he loses this business and she gets the house, he will be living on credit cards once he gets out of the pen. Check the bankruptcy filings starting around 2027.

Anonymous said...

Kingfish, How come we never see this on WAPT, WLBT, WJBT or the Clarion Ledger? How do you scoop them time after time.

Anonymous said...

$100mm? $100MM!!!? What a joke. My bet is he is in debt up to his eyeballs and this will show it. unfortunately his wife is about to find out how broke he is.

Anonymous said...

@3:55 PM - watch many Netflix prison movies?

Anonymous said...

This may be the worst time but I am sure not the first time. People like this escalate abuse over time. Probably will beat it and sadly his wife will eventually go back when he convinces her that it was her fault because she made him do it and it would be in the best interest of the kids.

Anonymous said...

Lifting weights never made any boy a man. That’s a mental aspect this fruit loop can’t achieve.

Anonymous said...

Seems like a George Bell wannabe. What goofy ass chop boy he is.

Anonymous said...

@3:59 PM UMMC is the best trauma center in central MS because Jackistan is so violent. That doesn’t make it a great place except when you have bullet holes, stab wounds or liver lacerations. Hopefully she doesn’t have BCBS or he gets stuck with the bill.

Anonymous said...

Looking forward to this guy's next interview on the Bo Bounds Show. "Capital Preservation Services, LLC, your one-stop shop for wife beatdowns."

Anonymous said...

Flowood Police Department posted about his arrest at around 3:00PM and now I don’t see that post on FPDs page…. Hmmm….

Wonder if he is already calling favors….

Anonymous said...

@1:34 I did say it to his face. I’m surprised it took this long for him to get in serious trouble. Steroids, alcohol, and ego are a bad mix. He knew how to play the game and beat minor charges. What he did to his own wife his horrendous and I Hope they can lock him up for a long time…

Anonymous said...

Added to the 'roid rage is that he also lives in one of those Flowood fake stucco homes.

Anonymous said...

Worth $100 million and lives in freaking Flowood? And dines at McClain? Surely, someone worth that much isn't that damn dumb.

Anonymous said...

Imma move out of this neighborhood… First MDOC Chris Epps on my street and now this guy…. Jeeez…

Anonymous said...

I've know this P.O.S. for years. He's a laughing stock at the gym(s), multiple gatherings I've attended where he's there, on trips, in the community, with firends and groups he hunts with, amongst people he THINKS are his friends,you name it. The guy is EXTREMELY insecure and tries to hide it and paint some glorious picture of this great, successful, faux life life on social media. Todd? You're a f'n joke, always have been, and always will be. You ain't worth a chit. You waaaaay out kicked your coverage with that incredible woman who, for some reason married you. Maybe out of sympathy. Who knows. I hope you get what you deserve, you worthless, insecure, miserable waste. Oh, did I say sissy???

Anonymous said...

Those who know Todd probably aren’t surprised. Maybe alarmed at the severity, but not surprised. Kudos
To RC and Flowood who were no doubt under pressure to keep this quiet. Prayers for his family.

Excellent Judge of Character said...

All this reminds me of Heather Spencer. George Bell was all amped up on steroids and cocaine (among other things) and proceeded to beat her to death with a Mag flashlight. But not before brutally raping her and hitting her so hard that a piece of her skull was found across the room! This guy doesn’t deserve to live in the free world. And what he does with his life behind bars will define his legacy and be between him and God. Maybe Mardis will teach someone to read or how to invest—like George Bell has. But in the meantime, anyone helping him get one second of punishment less than he deserves should rot in hell. This is sickening.

Anonymous said...

Hope his clients read this and pull their money out if there is any left! Wonder how much he’ll sell his plane for?

Anonymous said...

@1:34 - Is that you Todd?

Anonymous said...

Before you leave your comment please take a minute to think about Todd’s children reading these. Imagine if you were 17 or 22 years old reading this filth about the man you have always looked up to. Not sure what went on within the Mardis family but I do know that the things that are posted here will eventually be read by them. I actually knew Todd fairly well and honestly never would expect something this extreme out of him. However wouldn’t think twice about it if I heard he beat some other guys a** because that is just Todd being Todd. Something just isn’t quite adding up here. And Kingfish there is no reason to be so vulgar. Clout chaser

Anonymous said...

@5:14, Seconded. I am a powerlifter, I know bodybuilders. This dickhead is THE guy Planet Fitness was invented to keep out. When I was a teenager just starting, any big guy you would see would be quiet, respectful (this is their church) and offer help to anyone trying to improve themselves who asked, from the skinniest rail, to the chubbiest basement kid. This guy is the diametric opposite of that.

Kingfish said...

Where was I vulgar? I haven't even made a comment.

Anonymous said...

Your description of events in the article. Put yourself in their shoes right now. It took off like wildfire though

Kingfish said...

What was vulgar about it? Didn't see any curse words used.

Anonymous said...

He had paid “friends” to protect him when he went out in public and drank…. Looks like 6:10 is trying to hold on the the gravy train.
He has a history of not being able to control himself.
I feel so sorry for what he put his own wife and family through. It’s sad a supposed grown man can’t grow up and handle his own behavior….

Anonymous said...

The definition of vulgar is coarse and rude. Not cursing.

Anonymous said...

His clients probably need to audit their accounts ASAP. They may be surprised what they find.

Anonymous said...

Attn 6:19, if he is worth $100,000,000.00 like he apparently professes to be, the children will be fine. But if he is a charlatan like I think he is, good luck!.

Anonymous said...

I bet the kids know there is a problem. One of them is general counsel for his company.

Excellent Judge of Character said...

What’s vulgar is the way he damn near killed his wife. The reporting of facts is not vulgar. It’s truth in reporting.

Anonymous said...

Lineage Lake is a fine little subdivision, but nobody worth $100M lives behind the Flowood Walmart.

I have no doubt he told people that, or that some Rankin County try-hard believed him and bought a Range Rover he couldn’t afford to keep up appearances. But come on. Grow up.

Kingfish said...

When all is said and done, one child is going to be the hero in all this.

Anonymous said...

Attn 6:10 p.m. Todd Martis is a steroid addicted ass hole. Hopefully she will survive and get away from him. His atty is not who I would hire if I were stupid enough to have done what he did. Hopefully, this Todd guy will be convicted of attempted murder, all evidence I have read indicates that was his intention.

Anonymous said...

I don't think he handles investments. It looks like he does tax planning for rich doctors. Look at the website.

Anonymous said...

I was in no way attempting to justify Todd’s actions. Merely want to encourage people to think about who reads

Anonymous said...

6:10, if Todd didn’t want his kids to lose respect for him and see him for the person he really is, then he shouldn’t have almost killed their mother. Kingfish did nothing wrong. Hell, he did the world a favor by allowing everyone to see Todd for who he is. The fact that you downplay his willingness to “beat some guy’s ass because that’s just Todd being Todd” in a post stating you’re surprised he would beat his wife (judging from some other comments here, it probably wasn’t the first time it has happened) says far, far more about you than anything Kingfish did.

You’re being a POS in your defense of a POS.

Anonymous said...

6:10: So the public should cover for this POS for the good of his children? Who are you, his mother?

People who know these things say that strangulation in domestic violence is a precursor to homicide.

https://www.strangulationtraininginstitute.com/all-abusers-are-not-equal-new-ipv-research-reveals-an-indicator-of-deadly-abuse/

Anonymous said...

Justice will be served in court. Not accomplishing anything on this public forum

Anonymous said...

Justice MIGHT be served in court. Thankfully, we have this public forum to let us know what is going on.

Anonymous said...

For being wealthy it sure looks like he took a PPP loan out for 20k.

Anonymous said...

I love the comments praising Todd for his prowess to kick another guy's ass. Look, Todd is a pussy, which is evidenced by the fact that he had to beat on a little woman.

Anonymous said...

Jackson Prep guy.

Anonymous said...

Flowood PD facebook removed the post because it was inconsistent with other postings about arrests. They only post the arrests of blacks, whites get the ignore treatment.

Anonymous said...

How did this poor girl get to the hospital? I didn’t see that part mentioned in the article. Also, was she taken the night he beat her up or the next day?

Anonymous said...

5. Strangulation marks on her neck


He nearly killed her. On purpose.


God bless this Rankin county deputy and the Flowood officials who intervened.


I hope this POS gets what he deserves:

1. The hubris to believe he can fight the charges and convince a jury of something other than the truth
2. A jury full of women like me
3. A wife who finds self esteem, a realization of the need to change what's being modeled as normal for her kids, and a damn good divorce attorney
4. A long, long prison sentence
5. A cell mate who's big and mean and Can't.Fucking.Stand people like him.

Good luck dude.


Anonymous said...

@7:44
Bullshit. My white roommate was arrested for 2nd offense DUI and they posted her picture.

Anonymous said...

there is not another place in the entire country that is full of more poser , broke, ford f-150 driving, jacked on steroids, meth head fucks than rankin county
you can bet your ass everything he ''owens '' is encumbered by a lender for more than its worth
god must love these type of wanna be badasses cause he makes so many of them

a $750,000 bond gonna cost about $85,000 to write
tell me ....how many of these rankin county green teeth posers can reach in their pocket and pull out that much?
you can bet your last dollar he still sitting in that stinking jail
....nice job judge morrow, you did it right

Anonymous said...

TO 6:10.....go screw your self.....KF ONLY REPorts the truth
you little buddy TODD should have thought all about that before he played whoop ass with the wife

Anonymous said...

The dude is one bad mother f’r. He could compete in the UFC now he is so bad. He will run the cell block and be able to bring in any chick he wants.

Anonymous said...

to 7:18.......then what da hell you doing here????????\

Anonymous said...

@6:10. I’m sure Todd’s kids are somewhat relieved by this becoming public. They’ve had to watch Todd be Todd for a long time and they’ve never known how to stand up to a bully. Todd being Todd is apparently a crime. You’re vulgar by attempting to force opinions to be hidden. Shame on you.

Anonymous said...

I sure hope this makes its rounds to Alabama, Florida, Illinois, Mississippi (outside of metro) and Wisconsin. This asshat deserves to be canceled and when I say canceled, I mean he deserves to be under the friggin jail. Wife beaters and child molesters have a first class ticket and special reservation to hell. Yes, he is and always has been a POS. If his wife returns to him if he is to make it out of this situation with probation, God have mercy on her soul. It gets worse over time. What more does he have to show to prove he has a depraved heart and deserves the very worst punishment. He should be charged with “attempted murder!”

Anonymous said...

“His” plane is a rental.

Anonymous said...

I’ve know this family for several years, Todd is a good guy- what he did to his beautiful wife and his family is inexcusable. I’ve lost all respect for someone I used to call my brother! Feel better KM. God bless all of you!

Anonymous said...

The second 1:49 makes some good points. How’s it his fault he had an adverse reaction to all his medicine? The comments from the people who go to the gym with him would be better if they said how much he benched.

Anonymous said...

looking at this clowns website he seems to hold himself out as a tax attorney ....tell me, does he have a license to practice law?


he also holds himself out as an accountant, .....tell me is he a licensed accountant?

further, he holds himself out as a stock broker and investment advisor...tell me...does he have a securities license from the SEC?
AND for the benefit of all the rednecks out there this SEC I'm talking about iis not a college football conference.

this guy is the worst kind of a fake.

Anonymous said...

This POS does not own a jet. It was a chartered flight. Prayers to the wife and family.

Anonymous said...

Pray for his family and employees don’t none of them deserve dat shit….

Anonymous said...

Knowing Todd, he is not worth 100 million and the plane is from his friend.

Anonymous said...

A byproduct of a broken world. A broken man with testosterone rage. Prayers for his wife that she may find healing without complications. I pray the cycle will end here for this family - the cycle of abuse but more importantly, the cycle to receive abuse. There is no doubt his family has suffered an insurmountable level of psychological and possibly physical abuse for many years. Great job to the deputies, judge, medical staff, and the investigative efforts to pursue this man!

Anonymous said...

I’ve known Jason and Kim for a very long time and this is truly shocking and sad. He is a decent man that loves his family and I can’t imagine what caused him to snap. Praying for both as they heal from this.

Anonymous said...

To the "he's a good guy" crowd:

Here is what a federal judge had to say about Mr. Mardis's intentional, bad faith destruction of evidence, and the lies under oath to cover it up:

https://www.leagle.com/decision/infdco20180130e76

I'm willing to believe that Mrs. Mardis only did what she was told, based on the beating she recently received, presumably for not doing what she was told.

Anonymous said...

People who know these things say that strangulation in domestic violence is a precursor to homicide.

https://www.strangulationtraininginstitute.com/all-abusers-are-not-equal-new-ipv-research-reveals-an-indicator-of-deadly-abuse/


Truth.

She has to get out before it's too late.


Anonymous said...

Let's be honest, he is not a decent man. If you've known him for any length of time, you know this to be true. He may have portrayed that of a decent man, a loving husband and father, a good guy for social media and professionally. He did come from a decent family. I do feel horribly for his children but this is not news to them. Please don't let this fall under "he snapped", or "the roid rage did it." Lives are at stake. He has the capacity to do this again. Anyone who gets in his way or fails to show him complete obedience, risks being his next victim. I know the heat is high but I hope the powers that be will not crumble under the pressure.

Anonymous said...

Curious if this trash bonded out? Hoping Kingfish will keep us updated as new details are learned.

Anonymous said...

He’ll kill her next time.

“Dr”Jill said...

As usual, there are quite a few Liberal soyboys on this comment thread. I’m not excusing what this POS did, but I’d guarantee it wasn’t the first time he abused his wife. The fact that he may work out at a gym, drive a lifted truck (not sure what he drives), sleep in a tanning bed, or take anabolic steroids doesn’t make him a POS. His treatment of his wife & others, his condescending attitude, and violent demeanor make him the piece of trash which he is. Mardis has ALWAYS been a egocentric, pretentious, insolent fool since high school. He graduated in 1988 from Jackson Prep and was despised by his classmates. Ask anyone who graduated around that year from Prep, JA, or MRA; they can tell you what an egotistical prick he was even back then. Btw, he is NOT worth $100 million (not even close), and that flight he took to Tampa was on a chartered private jet. He was actually asked to leave his 10 yr high school reunion in 1998 because he wanted to beat up a classmate. There have been many such incidents with this buffoon over the years at various upscale restaurants and private parties; too many to list here.

Unfortunately, he has one of the best defense attorneys in MS, and this case will most likely be plead down to a lesser charge and he won’t get the jail time which he so richly deserves.

And for the record: I went to high school with him, but I don’t drive an F250 or 2500HD, take steroids, use spray tan, or wear bedazzled jeans.

Anonymous said...

Who rescued this poor woman and got her to St Dominic? If he doesn’t hurt himself first, which the narcissistic fool probably loves himself too much to do that, I fear he will kill her… or the next girl if they don’t lock him up where he belongs. And to think he left her to ‘travel’ for work! Nah, he went to Florida for a fun weekend in the sun.

Anonymous said...

Trust the process. The justice system will no doubt come through for us all and work. Just like it has for Prince Phillip and Brett Farve. Have faith guys.

Anonymous said...

@6:10 - the saddest thing is, the kids already know the truth. Reading comments only solidifies their reality about their father (which hurts deeper). The truth of what they have lived with, the truth of what their mother has endured, & the hurt they have been feeling, hearing him say “I’ll never do that to her again, I PROMISE or I shouldn’t have done that, but your mother shouldn’t have done or said what she said” or “please forgive me, I love you kids and never meant to hurt you” If you knew him that well, one should truly question your judgment on a lot of levels!! When things like this happen and people who “know them well” have to throw out “he is really a good guy” who are you kidding… if he’s such a good guy the scale would be tilting on comments in the positive direction, instead of comments tilting on the much larger side of horrible comments about him. You must stop pretending you know this guy, because you too, have allowed him to convince you of his lies and deception that has been crucifying his family. I hope justice is served, she survives, and their babies are surrounded with an over abundance of love and grace! God speed to this woman, and their kids, and he too finds help wherever he is or ends up!!!!

Anonymous said...

"Worth $100 million and lives in freaking Flowood? And dines at McClain? Surely, someone worth that much isn't that damn dumb."

HELLO! This is Mississippi, not Beverly Hills, California. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Anonymous said...

Capital Preservation Services, LLC is currently down for maintenance.
We expect to be back in a couple hours. Thanks for your patience.

Anonymous said...

He bonded out yesterday, October 11 at 2:21 pm after court.

Hoping he doesn't remove his ankle monitor and do something stupid.

Hoping his children and grandbaby are nowhere near him.

Anonymous said...

Kingfish, PLEASE follow this to the end... don't let it die. It needs to stay in the public eye until he goes to the Mississippi State Penitentiary in Parchman, Mississippi. Get the videos... show them to the public. It's horrific, I bet. Do what you have to do to make the public aware. It needs to be public because everyone needs to know exactly what domestic abuse can and will look like. If he is held accountable to the fullest extent, hopefully others will get help. This has to stop. It's heartbreaking and shattering for the family, all involved. Honestly I can't imagine how long this has been going on. Again, be relentless until he is held accountable. Hopefully the pressure of the public outcry will help in getting him off the streets for a long time and bring attention to domestic abuse.

Anonymous said...

Where can one find the date and time a person bonded out?

Anonymous said...

1) assume abuses roids, makes others hate working out nearby.
2) drinking, at McCain's. Our elected officals included McCains in the REZ district when the drinking bill was passed to bring high quality dining to the REZ. lol (doubt if they got more than a catfish po boy)
3) she had time enough to split but this is sadly too common.
4) wife might actually care about and love him. I gave up trying to understand women. (pre woke definition)
4) never heard of him, which I am thankful for.

Anonymous said...

@ 8:26. You seem to be impressed at this 52 year old fighting. I would be ashamed if I got into a fight that was not defensive and required. This from a Marine Recon lifer. Fighting is for children unless it is required.

Anonymous said...

He’s already bonded out and is smoothing this rough spot over. Most of you pathetic white knight cucks can’t even get a woman. So you are jealous that HIS WIFE will stick with him and she understands that sometimes you have to discipline a disobedient or disrespectful wife or child. Yes, he went too far. But so did she! She knows she shouldn’t have said the things she said.

Anonymous said...

@3:55 "I've never met the guy, but just looking at him, I know SO many like him. Styled hair, perfect teeth, physically fit, spray tan, the whole works. I'll also bet he drives a lifted F250 or HD2500, wears bedazzled jeans, exotic boots and roots vigorously for a sportsball team"

Wait is he a mega church pastor?

Anonymous said...

@7:58. Going to need an example of what she said that could justify him damn near killing her.

Anonymous said...

@7:58 what could she have said that almost got her killed?

Anonymous said...

@7:58 is absolutely correct. Fighting for no reason is childish. Grown men don't fight unless it is required (war, self defense, defending others, etc.). Todd has never grown up.

Anonymous said...

@7:58 - WTF drugs are you on? I don't care if she called him a piece of shit MF, a man does NOT lay hands on a woman or child.

It shows his weakness and insecurities to not only HIT a woman, but knock her unconscious, drag her by her hair over pavement (resulting in hair being pulled from her scalp), and hit her in the stomach so hard that her liver is lacerated.

Ask the man in Madison from the wedding how hard Todd Mardis hits. That was a pitiful sight that was swept under the rug.



Unknown said...

I have known him for years. Nice guy when he wants something from you, but goes for nice to A**hole in 2 seconds. very short temper to say the least. He plays up that image online with FB and other media and his firm. Kim is a sweetheart, and has a heart of gold, but he is the master and she is a slave to him. He tells her what to do, when to do it, how to do it, etc. she is a kept women, very submissive and under his control. Seen that all too often, and when he drinks.. look at .. his way or highway. I hope the word gets out to his clients soon, and he gets what he deserves.. JAIL . and she divorces his sorry ass and cleans him out. Please get us posted on court date, etc.

Anonymous said...

I've known Todd a long time. I used to think he was joking when he would say you have to beat both your kids and your wife sometimes to keep them in check. I guess he was not joking after all. pos!

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Kingfish, for leaving this story up (despite people calling you mean and vulgar for literally just describing what what was done to this woman..his wife of 30 years). It’s disgusting when even the police do a “dirty delete” for just privileged individuals in the area. Couldn’t strangulation to that degree and leaving someone unconscious be considered attempted murder?

His kids have grown up in this abusive dysfunction. They are obviously going to be affected mentally by the messed-up situation they were raised in. The fact that they would even still engage with their father, someone who has horribly abused and tried to kill their own mother, is surprising to me. Hopefully this is a wake-up call to them, and they will beg their mother to not go back to him or defend him. She probably has stayed with Todd for THEM, the kids, or because she was afraid he would kill her if she really left, which is just as likely. Regardless, this was basically attempted murder and shouldn’t be hidden or sugar-coated by anyone. He isn’t a “great, nice guy.” He almost killed the mother of his children. Wake up and stop letting yourself be manipulated by a psychopath.

Anonymous said...

"The Alston Family sends its condolences to the wife."

Is that despicable little shit still around?

Anonymous said...

I have known them both for years. Nice guy when he want something from you..but he can go from nice to A**hole in 2 seconds. .very short temper. He is not worth $ 100 M.. LOL..maybe 1 or 2 a most.. rents a plane. not hard to do,.business expense.. KIim is a sweetheart with a heart of gold, but he is the master and she is the slave.. He tells her what to do, when, how, etc. I see that all of the time with them... very controlling on everything she does, she is a kept women.. not suprised by this given his temper, attitude, ec , and even worse when he drinks.I hope his clients hear about this and take their business elsewhere. I also hope she divorces his sorry ass and he losses everything and gets JAIL for what he did to her.. but money does buy freedom..look at OJ.. Keep us posted.

Anonymous said...

I am curious if this will be on the front page of the Rankin Ledger as it was when the lady from Pellatchie hired a hit man to kill her husband and it turned out to be an undercover officer. That will be interesting to see if he gets the same publicity. As of now there is no mention of it on any on the Rankin County pages. Interesting

Anonymous said...

Over 100 comments from ever eunuch, castrati, cuckold, and soyboy in the Metro!

Anonymous said...

@ 8:28. I think you misread my comment.

Anonymous said...

If y’all don’t think Todd Mardis is commenting on this post your foolish. Who the hell would he defending him, but him. Idk what other white knights your referring to, but I’ll put your big ass down bud. Believe that. I’ll even drop you the pin

Kingfish said...

Someone is trying to comment about statements made in court. Well, those statements were not made in court so the comment is not getting approved.

Anonymous said...

to the cheerleader for mr todd at 7:58........

wow.....YOU SEEM TO BE A REAL EXPERT on parental and spousal discipline.

you are so smart maybe you can figure out a way to go do his time for him when he gets sent to MDOC

Anonymous said...

to the cheerleader for mr todd at 7:58........

wow.....YOU SEEM TO BE A REAL EXPERT on parental and spousal discipline.

you are so smart maybe you can figure out a way to go do his time for him when he gets sent to MDOC

Anonymous said...

$20 says 8:49 is actually Mardis himself…

Anonymous said...

It’s fairly telling that this went on for two days before a deputy heard about it and called a detective in the jurisdiction in which it happened. There is no way people at the hospital and hundreds of other people did not know about this and did absolutely nothing. This is a massive failure on too many peoples part to do the right thing and let it go like this get by with it over and over. It is because of his perceived wealth he is an outstanding physical specimen obviously on steroids and probably a first class prick but turns the charm on if it benefits him. If he was ugly he would have been shot on site. There should be some accountability on those who failed to report this including the children if that is the case. Did the neighbors also look the other way? Who all look the other way that would be really interesting to know. I appreciate Kingfisha more today than I ever have for exposing this for what it is.

Kingfish said...

From what law enforcement sources tell me, that daughter was a hero in this. Don't know if that's the right word. After the hearing, she was talking to the prosecutors about making sure her mother was protected.

Anonymous said...

This should be headline news.. Why is it not? Everyone should be contacting all news stations as a concerned citizen. You let this go by the waist side, others with the same mentality will think they can get away with it. No one should have to go through what this poor woman went through. God give her strength and the will to get away and survive.

Anonymous said...

None of this is a surprise for anyone who really knew him. Prison will be good for him. After he’s off the steroids, his muscle mass and health will go on a downward spiral. This story has been told before.

Anonymous said...

This should be headline news.. Why is it not? Everyone should be contacting all news stations as a concerned citizen. You let this go by the waist side, others with the same mentality will think they can get away with it. No one should have to go through what this poor woman went through. God give her strength and the will to get away and survive.

Anonymous said...

To the idiots standing up for Todd you must be just like him. No real man lays a hand a woman. This is not the first time. I hope he gets what he deserves. Praying for Kim and the children.

Anonymous said...

I first would like to say I feel truly sorry for his wife. This man is a definite piece of shit.
I’ve known of Todd thru others for 20+ years. He has always reminded me of a younger version of Barry Goff. He has always picked on and looked down on the weaker in eyes. But look who the weaker is NOW. With the “wonderful OLD John Collette” I can’t wait to see who’s palm gets greased on this one. Please I hope the news will pick up on this very news worthy post that Kingfish has informed us about. So glad it’s in Rankin County and maybe they will make him serve some time on this craziness. This should not be tolerated for any reason. His VERY VERY FUNNY to me his on security cameras are going to help convict his sorry ass. It’s hard to dispute video evidence.

Anonymous said...

I reiterate what 5:14pm said. Known this guy for years and what he said is exactly true. The guy is steroid taking, bling bling wearing, jacked up truck driving, pearly whites smiling, jellied hair having, overcompensating douche bag and always has been.

Anonymous said...

@9:07….Neighbors had NO CLUE this evil was taking place. I hope he and his ankle monitor are confined elsewhere! Praying for the wife and children. Concerns for the family pets as well.

Anonymous said...

6:10 makes me sick.
He is worried about vulgar language while a woman was nearly beaten to death by GIANT she trusted and loved.

You should be ashamed of yourself and I really hope you get your priorities in line someday.
I hope this monster's kids learn what not to do in life, from this POS.

I hate that they are going through this, and they have every right to loathe this man for the pain they will endure.
So maybe save your anger for the monster that caused this.

Anonymous said...

So, what is the deal with fighting at a wedding and also the Alston family?

Anonymous said...

Why will you allow the comments of this idiot calling us White knight Cucks or whatever but this is the 3rd time I’ve tried to comment and it doesn’t get posted. Mardis doesn’t intimidate anybody. Let us call this dude out.

Anonymous said...

Bezos and this little phallus boy need to load up on the amazon rocket and blast themselves into the sun.

Anonymous said...

I dont kink shame, but 8:23's obsession for green teeth is disturbing.

Anonymous said...

7:58 is a troll guys, stop feeding them.

Anyone who is legit defending this person is not worth arguing with.
They have already proven they are too dumb to comprehend words.
And we all know if this man hit their loved one they would understand the anger.

But don't waste time trying to teach math to a ham sandwich.
His cheerleaders are doomed to stupidity for life. Walk away from them.

Anonymous said...

For his family he should plead guilty and serve his time. Unfortunately he is so arrogant he will continue to put his family thru hell. His wife and kids need to stand together to make sure this doesn’t happen again.

Anonymous said...

Not familiar with this POS, but can someone explain to me why anyone would pay this guy for “advanced tax planning” (per his LinkedIn) when he is neither an accountant nor a tax attorney?

Anonymous said...

9:07. Not taking that bet. Don’t want to lose my lunch money.

Anonymous said...

Is part of being out on bail not being able to use illegal steroids or any other drugs less you get put back in jail for the use of those drugs?

Anonymous said...

Note to Todd Mardis: When you get to prison, make sure to let all the other inmates know what a badass you are.

Anonymous said...

Todd will convince his family he has a problem go get help and not serve any time in prison. We will have another Geroge Bell in the future. Rankin County Judge can prevent this with prison time.

“Dr”Jill Brandon said...

@Kingfish or another moderator is deleting my comments. I didn’t use personal threats or vulgar language of any sort. I also didn’t defend this fool in any way, and even gave examples of his behavior going all the way back to high school in Jackson.

Anonymous said...

This is up to the Rankin County Judge to prevent another Geroge Bell. Is wife and kids will be the ones to die.

Anonymous said...

I bet the people defending him regularly wear affliction t-shirts and true religion jeans. I also be they all drive jacked up trucks.

Anonymous said...

Latest word is that he has checked into rehab. I’m sure advised from Collette.

Anonymous said...

11:54 nailed it.
And described almost every male at my gym here in Rankin.

This guy will skate and he will kill someone.

He's too connected. They won't hold him accountable and he won't change at all.

Anonymous said...

I never realized my neighbor was a maniac.

Anonymous said...

King
See if you can find out who the rankin county deputy that hunts with Todd. He let Todd use his cell phone while he had some time think while in his cell. Good ole boy system.

Anonymous said...

@11:54
You sound like someone with a neck-beard and a potbelly who wears ironic tshirts and listens to podcasts about cartoons.

Anonymous said...

If he’s not held accountable it might be time to vote out all elected officials. Flowood
social media has pulled the info down.

Anonymous said...

WJTV posted three sentences about this. They put a click bait link to the Greenville Shooting between the sentences. What could be better news than this? Do your job WLBT.

Anonymous said...

Capital Preservation Services, LLC website is down for maintenance! Duh!
WJTV just put Todd Mardis arrest on its website. So Slow!

Anonymous said...

And his business website is "down" for maintenance.

https://cpsllcms.com/team/todd-mardis/

Rob Newhouse said...

"Y'know, minimum-security prison is no picnic. I have a client in there right now. He says the trick is: kick someone's ass the first day, or become someone's bitch. Then everything will be all right."

Anonymous said...

All you white knight cucks are soft

Kingfish said...

Flowood posted a short paragraph of his arrest and his mug shot (in street clothes) when arrested. It just had the date of the arrest, charge, and his bond yesterday. It lasted for maybe 90 minutes before it disappeared off the page.

Anonymous said...

https://www.wjtv.com/news/local-news/flowood-man-accused-of-domestic-violence/amp/

WJTV has it up now but no real story.

Anonymous said...

@9:07am
Do not assume hospital staff did nothing! It is required by law to report known patient abuse but to also consult social services. It is also a HIPPA violation to tell the news or public patient detail. His wife, if conscious, is entitled to make her own decisions and because of that, maybe there was a delay in contacting authorities. This woman was nearly beaten to death, and her immediate trauma response was probably to survive. Make no doubt, victimized patients have rights and maybe she needed counseling and encouragement - causing a delay.

Who rescued this poor woman and got her to St Dominic? If he doesn’t hurt himself first, which the narcissistic fool probably loves himself too much to do that, I fear he will kill her… or the next girl if they don’t lock him up where he belongs. And to think he left her to ‘travel’ for work! Nah, he went to Florida for a fun weekend in the sun.

Kingfish said...

Nah, what will happen is CJ will read this post, then go over and report it at his station with an "exclusive" tag on it to make it seem he is the only one reporting the story. He pulled it a couple of weeks ago and he'll do it again.

Anonymous said...

What website maintenance doing?

Anonymous said...

Well, CJ is a "senior investigative reporter." That is the equivalent of being the mayor's COS with a PhD (piled higher and deeper).

Anonymous said...

The boot black beard coloring really takes away from his spray tan . . .

Anonymous said...

CJ is a credentialed Journalist. He doesn’t run a disreputable racist gossip blog. Of course JJ will get dirt and run the gossip before the legit Journalists with degrees and credentials have properly vetted a story.

Anonymous said...

CJ at 2:19, come on, man. Don't go all roid rage on KF

Unknown said...

Prayers for this woman who almost lost her life!

Joanne Howard Hamilton said...

Once again, I'm SO very glad that I never hung out with 99% of the people that I used to go to school with. This will end up being another Heather Spencer situation, especially since I hear that he may have already checked into a rehab (on attorneys' advice, I'm sure). It'll end up like Heather Spencer, Oogie Carson (Barry Goff) or Stuart Irby. Apparently, this isn't the first time he's beaten his wife, it's just the first time he really caused grievous injuries. Anyone that acts like this didn't happen (or that doesn't want to talk about it because they're friends with Todd), is complicit and you might as well be saying that it's ok for him to try to kill his wife. Hopefully, Kim doesn't think that she or rehab can "fix him". Get out while you can, girl! The money isn't worth dying over!


P.S. Worth "millions", but filed bankruptcy in 2018? Okuuurrrr....

Anonymous said...

If Todd Mardis has even $10 million dollars, much less $100m, then I'M a trillionaire. He's been an arrogant
asshole his entire life. Collette is a lowlife, too, for "justifying" Mardis almost killing his wife. Have fun in Parchman Todd! (BTW, ALL inmates find out, almost immediately what someone is in, for. He'll be extra-popular.) And, anyone who does biz. with him in future is just contributing to his savagery. You know what? Go ahead. His wife will get all the money.

Anonymous said...

Will this mother need a liver transplant at some point because of damage? She & children deserve our prayers; along with FPD or whoever responded. Those guys are buff and surely had to contain themselves after seeing this woman . May God wrap His arms around her & the children

Anonymous said...

Todd specializes in asset protection. He would really suck at his job if she gets anything more than the house and a token 6 figure payout!

He will rebound from this swinging! He’s a good bro. I work out with him.

Anonymous said...

Pretty HILARIOUS that he hung HIMSELF, with his OWN security cams! A real genius.
D.A.: If THIS isn't "Attempted Murder," with an unbelievable indifference to another human life, WHAT IS?
It's on YOU, Rankin Co. Courts, if he gets no jailtime, then DOES murder someone. Hang up your black robes, when that happens. And you know what? I bet he DOES get a slap on the wri$t. Kim, PLEASE SUE Todd-Roid for every last penny of that "$100 million." (He may have [HAD] $100K, at most, though.) Those inmates at Parchman sure will like Todd's "cute freckle-face." See how "bad" he is in THERE, when HE'S the 'bitch.'

Anonymous said...

I've known this wannabe for YEARS. He's extremely insecure, as in, EXTREMELY insecure. And the comment about the True Religion jean followers is hilarious. Let me add, those "followers" nonstop make fun of him and the arrogant way he tries to portray himself. In a nutshell, a very unhappy very insecure, COWARD...
Many of us could take Todd down, he ain't that bad in the least. However, we actually think about and care for our children and THEIR lives, our families, our parents, etc. Insecure, selfish POS

Anonymous said...

WLBT just posted the story!

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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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