Monday, January 3, 2022

"It's Only 6 Feet"

 Ridgeland Police Chief John Neal aired a few thoughts about parenting and crime last night on Facebook.  At least the good Chief acknowledges there is a link between the lack of parenting and crime, unlike a certain Mayor in Jackson who seems to be silent on the subject.  Chief Neal opined: 

I have been asked on several occasions recently about crime in Ridgeland and the youth committing crimes. Whether or not this story is actual …IT IS FACTUAL. If you are offended, it may be about you. We have to turn our youth around and show them a better path.
Stop cutting 6 feet off your parenting.
A few years ago we were at soccer practice- I have never forgotten this moment. The kids were told to run around the field, go to the corner and make their way back to the center. The first few kids did it correctly, but they all quickly started cutting the corner. When my son got to the point where kids were cutting, I yelled out "all the way to the corner! Do it right! We aren't cheaters!"

One of the kids fathers looked at me and goes "geez, it's only 6 feet."
I didn't say anything at the time. I shrugged it off and sat back down. But his comment has literally stuck with me for years now and I've always wondered "would you cut 6' off a wall if you were building a house? 6 inches? 6 centimeters?"
No. You wouldn't. You're going to do your best to build that house exactly to spec. You aren't going to say "oh, well, this board is 6 feet short, too bad-we'll make it work." You're going to go out and get another board. Why? Because cutting corners on that home causes structural integrity issues. Cutting corners means you end up with a lopsided house that can't be trusted to provide you shelter in storms.
I've been volunteering at the school on Monday's. There are 45 kids in the club I work with. It's terrible. Absolutely horrible. I love volunteering, I love working with my sons class, but I've never seen anything like this before. These kids are mean, nasty, and disrespectful. They have zero accountability. They scream, they run, they don't listen, they don't follow directions. They aren't quiet when the teacher talks. They have no respect whatsoever.
The problem is the lack of parenting. The problem is, these parents think it's ok to cut 6 feet off their job. Do you realize you are raising an adult? Not a child? We don't raise children, we raise adults. It is your job to teach them to be decent people. It's your job to teach them what is right and what is wrong. It's your job to teach respect and responsibility. (Don't even get me started on the kids that have zero idea how to clean up after themselves.)
When you choose to take a short cut on parenting, you are choosing to cut that 6' off that wall. You are messing up the integrity of your child. You are teaching them that it is ok to be lopsided and not put in full effort.
As a society we need to stop cutting that 6'. Don't let your child cut 6', because then the next one thinks it's ok, and then the next. Then we have an even bigger problem.

Stop cutting 6'. Stop letting your child cut 6'. The era of children being raised right now is not a good one. Something needs to change.
I could go on further, I could write an entire book. But I know most people don't even read this much at all (that's another thing, bring back books!), so I'll stop here. Just please, stop cutting 6' off your parenting. Your child needs a solid foundation, solid walls, a solid roof if you expect them to become decent people.

Kingfish note: The unwed birthrate in Ridgeland was 42% in 2019. It was 27% for whites and 60% for blacks. It was 55% for blacks, 33% for whites, and 37% overall just three years earlier.

41 comments:

Anonymous said...

Finally someone speaks the truth. Welfare created this mess. People have to WORK

Anonymous said...

Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child. but hey, participation trophies for every "little Braxton"...

Anonymous said...

These factual articles always help you spot the garbage parents on social media.

They are the ones who get irrationally mad at the suggestion that parents are to blame for society's ills.

But there is also no point in debating with people who think Choker is a hero and Tate is the correct person to blame for Jackson...because they just need more money to make it safe and to have productive youth.


Anonymous said...

Amen

Anonymous said...

"I've been volunteering at the school on Monday's. There are 45 kids in the club I work with. It's terrible. Absolutely horrible. I love volunteering, I love working with my sons class,"

I'm absolutely certain it was not English class.

But hey, it's only punctuation that changes the meaning of a sentence.

Anonymous said...

@ 9:04

Which class do you volunteer yourself in to share your writing skills?

You see, you are an example of someone blessed with a skill and a mouth, but only a desire to be critical of others.

While you're being a smartass about grammar and sentence structure, the chief is dealing with these shitheads after they grow up and are fully capable of killing the average citizen just like you.

The chief knows where the problem is and makes himself available (for free) to try and make a differnce. He is to be commended.

Anonymous said...

8:26 ....the issues are different but the baby seal eyed kids run the shoot both poor and rich. Social media sociopaths ....not born that way but conditioned. Inner city kids will kill you one way while the suburb kids will do it another way. And no tears shed among them. Or as the say, no give a fugs old man.

Anonymous said...

I’m glad someone is willing to speak the TRUTH! I wish someone in Jackson would learn how and have the spine to back it up.

Mike said...

What we tolerate today becomes acceptable tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

Chief Neal is a godsend to the metro area. I’ve known him since he has been a patrolman and he’s one of the most ethical and professional people I know. Great post and it’s the truth.

Anonymous said...

“Inner city kids will kill you one way while the suburb kids will do it another way.“

This is nonsense and simply a lie. The murders are not happening in the suburbs by suburban kids. Your comment is simply more BS that refuses to show where the issue is: fatherless homes with bastard kids.

Feral youth need to be held accountable.

Anonymous said...

Excellent. Persevere Chief.

Anonymous said...

When my youngest daughter was in elementary school in Madison, I volunteered one day to read to the class, tell about my career, have lunch, etc. The teacher told me that they rarely had dads that volunteered, so all the kids were excited.

One little boy sort of clinged to me. He wanted to sit by me, he wanted to ask questions, etc. I asked my daughter about him and she said that he was usually not like that. The teacher told me before I left that this little boy had never been so excited - he lived with a single mom and did not have a father figure.

It hit me hard. I saw that in my daughter's elementary school, the only men in the building are the janitorial staff. By the time they got to middle and high school, there were a few male teachers and administrators, but for the first 12 years of most kids' life - if they do not have a father in their home, they have no male role models.

We have to fix this crisis. A 13.5% increase in fatherless homes in three years in Ridgeland is a crisis.

Kingfish said...

When George Elementary (R.I.P.) made its turnaround, the principal brought in male teachers. Made a huge difference.

Anonymous said...

We've poisoned the career path by lying and saying that teachers do not make enough. When considering salary, benefits and a couple months off during the summer, teachers make pretty good money in Mississippi.

Men rarely go into education unless its to coach. If there is a good male teacher, they immediately promote them to assistant principal, where many times they are not effective, and take them out of the classroom.

The most effective thing that you can do for your kid is have them in a home with a mother and father. Bonus if the father is involved.

Anonymous said...

9:50 : Not defending inner city killers . Pointing out that our precious angels back there on that video game will be leaders one day and see YOU very different than YOU see your parents. If you can't see it then the battle is already lost. This generation is simply missing certain skill sets and they really don't respect you. They WILL NOT take care of the older generation the way we do. They see no future. Matters not where they are raised.

The Truth Hurts, Because it Should said...

@9:31 AM - Amen.

The chief is spot on.

Anonymous said...

Maybe the author should take his own advice and go the “extra six feet” by bothering to proofread his rants.

But, I suppose some people think the rules (even the ones they made up) apply to everyone else but them.

Anonymous said...

The Chief is speaking the truth.

To all the grammatically and 'punctuationally' fragile commentors - stick it in your ear. This isn't a Supreme Court appellate brief. It's social media and is well written, rationale, coherent and easily understood by anyone who can read.

Anonymous said...

@10:42 AM - a cop hating apologist with a straw man argument.

Anonymous said...

10:04 ended with "We have to fix this crisis. A 13.5% increase in fatherless homes in three years in Ridgeland is a crisis." Although I may be missing where the 13.5% figure came from, the crisis is real! Likewise, I believe it's instructive to look at the statistics provided by KF, as they reveal a worrying trend related to this specific instance of increase:

2016
White 33%
Black 55%

2019
White 27% (decrease)
Black 60% (increase)

While 0% for both would be ideal, the actions of both groups are not the same.......and unfortunately, the majority of the crime committed in the metro area is reflected by the increase.

Anonymous said...

11:21 - thank you for the best comment of the day.

Anonymous said...

11:21 has common sense. Apparently that's a rare commodity these days.

Anonymous said...

11:56– from your comment, it looks like you don’t know what “apologist” or “straw man argument” mean.

And, I’m certainly not a cop hater. Criticism of one blog post by one person who happens to be a cop isn’t the same thing as “hating” the entire profession.

Anonymous said...

The root cause is the LBJ era Great Society policies. The D's did this by their own admission to wrap up the black vote for 100 years. The policies support fatherless families.

Anonymous said...

Young people today deal with the hand they are dealt. Student loan debt, lack of affordable childcare options, soaring medical insurance, unaffordable housing, and a multitude of other issues have made it more difficult for young people to get married and start a family the way previous generations have. What are the Chief’s ideas to fix the root causes of these issues? He doesn’t want to take shortcuts so let’s really get into the issues and come up with real solutions instead of whining on Facebook about the outcomes they lead to.

Anonymous said...

9:04
For someone that sits on the front row, you sure missed the point of the lesson (I mean post).

Anonymous said...

Don't have kids you cant afford to support without government assistance.
Don't have kids if you don't plan to teach morals and be an actual parent.

End the abundance of assistance programs and let my government dollars pay for free sterilization procedures instead.

Hell, giving free college to the ones that get sterilized would be a better investment than extra cash for more babies.


There are too many people already.
And the lazy ones reproduce exponentially.

Incentivize them to knock it off.



Anonymous said...

He is right. The result of the youth starts with the parenting. Yes parents make mistakes. All parents make mistakes, all parents have that moment, oh I'll let it slide. I know a parent who stated to a judge many years ago, my child has never lied to me.

Children are a product of their environment. IF you kid is a criminal, your kid is a product of your environment. Period.

Pretty sure kids are taught right from wrong, what does not seem to be taught, especially as children become teenagers, young adults, and older is there IS a consequence for bad decisions/actions.
Eventually , IT does catch up with them.
IT Should.

As life evolves, there are consequences. The youth sometimes, many times, doesn't get that.

Anonymous said...

@3:03. Yes, what you said was not wrong, but it seems like you believe the only problems right now are what you mentioned. Shacking up and having a baby is not to be blamed on unaffordable housing or student debt. Many of these problems would be solved if people waited to have children when married, solid income, not divorced etc etc! This is a major problem in the minority community that they have to blame for themselves. People have to be held accountable and stop blaming financial problems on fatherless homes and teenage pregnancies!

Anonymous said...

3:03 Are you serious or just trying to troll? Do you really believe ANY of the issues you presented even remotely go through the minds of the people we're discussing here? Student loan debt? Really? Affordable childcare options? They grandmama is their affordable childcare option. Soaring medical insurance? That's why the disaster of Obamacare came along, because too many people were out buying rims and TVs vs being responsible and planning for the possibility of a catastrophic illness/accident.

I could go on, but in order to address genuine solutions, you first have to enter the real world. These criminals don't have the same life plans as others in an orderly society. Their plans end as of tonight and begin anew in the morning. That's why we're having the discussion we're having.

Anonymous said...

The only people who can address these societal, community and personal problems don't give a shit and certainly are not on line reading Jackson Jambalaya. Where are they? I could provide the list but Kingfish wouldn't approve the post.

Anonymous said...

Serious question: explain what LBJ passed into law that encourages fatherless children.

I believe a child without a father is the most critical issue of our times.

Hookah said...

There are several poverty traps that society has placed on people to keep them in a a suspended state of failure.

Anonymous said...

Financially disincentivize single motherhood on every level, and you will see "single mothers" disappear.

Anonymous said...

Provide free birth control and watch "single mothers" disappear.

Anonymous said...

Free birth control will NOT stop repeated pregnancies to get a check.

Anonymous said...

I agree. BC is basically free now.

I would much rather pay these baby farm guys and gals one substantive lump sum to be permanently and irreversibly neutered.

Knowing this is not an option polite society would ever allow, you cant deny it would fix so many problems.

Anonymous said...

For decades we've heard this mindless tripe that 'free birth control' will stop unplanned pregnancies, or, here today make 'single mothers disappear'. Total garbage.

Birth control is already so friggin' cheap and readily available. Go ahead, make it free. But that ain't the problem.

The problem is that people have to actually use the birth control.

Anonymous said...

Being a single mother not only gets you're life financially subsidized - you also have a powerful, ready-made victim excuse for not being accountable for anything at all. You're a "single mother" and that badge is used as a shield from accountability, and it works. Special privileges and considerations all around. Adults shouldn't be allowed to hide behind a child to avoid growing up and becoming self-sufficient.

Anonymous said...

Hopefully he is a future Mayoral candidate. Gene, while effective, has about run his course. New blood needed and I'm not suggesting his son. Monarchies don't work well.


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