Thursday, March 19, 2020

Adjusting to Coronavirus Reality

UMC issued the following press release authored by Ruth Cummins. 


You’re not sounding the alarm to friends and family just yet, but you’re down to a six-pack of toilet paper, and you’re kicking yourself for not stocking up when it was on shelves two weeks ago.

It’s just one more stress to juggle during the current COVID-19 outbreak, with health experts advising Mississippians to hole up at home, and fears about contracting the highly contagious virus a great motivator for seclusion.
Take a step back and focus on what’s in your power, not what isn’t, experts at the University of Mississippi Medical Center say.
“I don’t have control over whether there will be toilet paper in the store. All I can do is make reasonable attempts to get it, and if worst comes to worst, come up with a plan B,” said Dr. Daniel Williams, division chief in the Department of Psychiatry and Human Behavior and associate director in the Office of Well-being. “When people don’t have things, they get very creative.”
No matter what is upsetting you, your feelings are normal and nothing to be ashamed of, Williams said.
“These are unprecedented times. What we are experiencing is abnormal, and we’re having anxiety that we normally wouldn’t have,” he said. “We need to recalibrate and recognize this as a period of uncertainty, and we need to adjust.
“It’s not helpful to think that things will be normal in a while. They won’t.”
Williams and other Medical Center experts offer advice on how to cope with a very unwelcome new normal and, quite frankly, just to get through your day:
  • Try not to fixate on worrisome things, no matter how big or small, that you can’t change. “I have no control over the stock market, so I probably shouldn’t put my time and energy into that,” Williams said. “Let’s not worry about the short-term pain there. I don’t have control over whether my loved ones will stay well, but I do have control over whether I practice social distancing around them, or wash my hands around them.”
  • A trip to the grocery store can be scary for those who look at empty shelves, or pictures of them on Facebook. “Here’s where we need to focus on objective data,” Williams said. “Every day, almost all grocery stores are being restocked. The supply chain is working. We shouldn’t hoard food. That means somebody will show up at the grocery and not be able to purchase food that day.
“There’s the psychological impulse to get as much of it as you can. That’s not in anybody’s best interest. Sometimes, our impulses lead us astray.”
  • Information overload on each new COVID-19 development in Italy or New York City leaves us sleepless and glued to our phone at 3 a.m. “Limit your amount of news consumption,” Williams said. “It’s tempting to stay connected to every development and update and tweet, but that creates a very stressful and anxious way of living.
“Check in on the news a couple of times a day, and then take a break from it. Do things that give you pleasure and that are in your best interests. We can’t just focus on the doom and gloom. We need to recharge ourselves.”
  • Find safe ways to get around social distancing, if contact with others is important to you.
Dr. Joshua Mann, chair of the Department of Preventive Medicine and director of the Office of Well-being, this week found himself in that boat. He’s quarantined for two weeks because of recent out-of-state travel. “I’m a very social worker. I do pretty well for a couple of hours at home alone on my email, but I start going a little stir-crazy without the opportunity to bounce ideas off my colleagues,” he said
Keep up co-worker contact via email, Face Time, Zoom, Skype and old-fashioned phone calls, and keep meetings going electronically. Without that interaction, “it really does make it difficult to get work done, and that’s stressful,” Mann said.
“Just because we’re doing social distancing doesn’t mean we have to do emotional distancing,” Williams said. “Use it as a chance to reconnect with old friends. Really reach out to each other for support.”
  • Reduce anxiety about contracting the virus or spreading it by taking healthy actions that make you feel safe. That ranges from frequent hand washing to cleaning and disinfecting your desk or other surfaces you may encounter that can carry germs, Williams said. That also includes your phone!
  • Create structure in your day, whether you are stuck at home or in a work twilight zone. “If you are quarantined, set an alarm and wake up at the same time you usually do. Go to bed when you usually do,” Williams said. “Make a list of what you want to accomplish that day. Maintain normalcy in your schedule.”
  • Good deeds and meaningful action can help you de-stress, Mann said. “When we take action to protect the people who have underlying health conditions or who are older, we are doing something good,” Mann said. “There is research that shows if you are experiencing a high level of stress, serving others helps to diminish it. It benefits the giver as well.”
  • Talk about it.
“We don’t need to pretend like this is normal. Sometimes, if you talk about it, it comes back into perspective,” Williams said. “Talk it out, and process how you are feeling. You might find that you built some of it up in your mind to be more catastrophic than it is because you were stuck in your feelings.”
And, back to that toilet paper.
“Even if you can’t get any, it’s not the end of the world,” Williams said. “You can still live a happy life. People throughout most of history have lived without it.
“We can adjust. Life will go on, and the sun will come up the next day.”

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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