Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Barbarians at the gates

It's election day.  We face decisions that must be made.  Crime. Education.  Water problems, road problems. Problems, problems, problems.  However, there is one problem even greater than them all. Something which threatens the very foundation of our society, our culture, yea even civilization itself.

Few things are as perfect as a croissant- in France.  Heavenly fluff on the inside, buttery golden outside, melts in your mouth.  However, bakers in France are now using pre-made industrial dough.  Sacrilege. Heresy.  Pagans who should be burned at the stake.  One can think of few graver threats to civilization than this blasphemy.  However, the Wall Street Journal reports there is hope for the croissant:


THOUGH I HAVE zero medical training, I feel qualified to tinker with one of the most timeworn adages about health. Having lived in Paris for 27 years, I've concluded that a croissant a day keeps the doctor away. At the very least, it's the best way to start the day.

A croissant safari is also a delicious way to explore Paris—especially now. In a welcome rebuff to the many bakeries that use industrially made dough, a new generation of pastry chefs committed to top-quality ingredients and traditional methods is leading a renaissance of the emblematic indulgence. Sampling their wares will also not only get you out of bed early (croissants tend to be best in the morning, when they're freshly baked), but take you to parts of the French capital you probably wouldn't see otherwise. Some of today's best croissants are made in lovely neighborhoods where Parisians actually live, as opposed to the well-trod precincts around major museums and monuments.

My own croissant connoisseurship began under the tutelage of Maria, the Spanish concierge in the elegant Seventh Arrondissement building where I lived when I moved to Paris in 1986. I was an unlikely tenant; everyone else in the building was in bed by 9 p.m., and many of my genteel neighbors walked with canes. Every morning, Maria tied a black scarf over her head, went to early mass, then bought a morning baguette and croissants for my landlord, a retired British diplomat, and his French wife.

One morning Maria surprised me in my pajamas when she knocked on the door with my mail (she usually slid it under the doormat). When I peered around the heavy oak door, she handed me the post and a white paper bag. "Feliz cumpleaños, Señor," she said with a slight bow. Since she knew it was my birthday, I guessed she'd been paying keen attention to my mail, but any uneasiness vanished when I tucked into the best croissant I'd eaten in my life, a lightly buttery pastry turban with a crust that flaked apart in golden, rectangular crumbs and hid a delicate, cottony interior. That afternoon, when I stopped by to thank her with a bunch of rust-colored chrysanthemums, she crossed herself before taking the bouquet—unbeknownst to me, in France the flowers are seen as appropriate only for cemeteries—but we became friendly. I asked her where to find the best pastries in the neighborhood; that night I found a tidy hand-written treatise pushed under my door.

Maria bought her croissants at La Maison Pradier during the winter and Gosselin in summer, because, she explained, the latter's fours (ovens) were newer and therefore hotter when it was humid, which meant better crusting. Her favorite shop, though, was Gérard Mulot in Saint-Germain-des-Prés, often the destination of her midday walk.

"You should know from the smell that a croissant was made with good unsalted butter, but it should not be the dominant taste," she wrote. "They should be a nice golden color, but not too dark, which means they've cooked too long and could be dry."

I became an eager student of croissants. The key to spectacular examples is the dough, bien sur. "It takes 48 hours to make good croissant dough," said Fabrice Le Bourdat of Blé Sucré bakery in the 12th Arrondisement. "First you make the dough and let it rest for a day chilled. The following day you add the butter and do the feuilletage [laminating]. Then you spread and stretch it, roll it again, and let it rest so that it rises slowly. It's a very time-consuming process involving a lot of manual labor, and this is why so many Paris bakeries now buy their croissant dough ready-made."
Click here to find the top spots for croissants in Paris

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Something sure is "cooking" in Jackson and it ain't a croissant!


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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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