It appears a female golfer was slighted by the good ole boys at a golf tournament up in Cleveland. Her mother posted on Facebook:
Good afternoon, I am not one to post very often as you can see by looking at my feed. However, I do feel it necessary to speak when the truth could help make something right. Today, I feel the need to share a situation we found our family in the middle of. I’ll throw out the short truth first and then give you “the rest of the story”.Yesterday Morning, less than 24 hours before my husband and daughter were set to tee off for a practice round of a tournament they signed up for in April, my husband received a phone call from the Golf Pro letting him know that he and Lauren would not be allowed to play in the tournament because Lauren was a girl! Yes, you read that right.I understand it is their right as a private organization to not allow her to play. I am not arguing that. I am just shocked.If you would like to know the rest of the story, Here it is…This tournament is held every year at the Cleveland Country Club, in Cleveland, MSMy Husband and I are proud Delta State Alumni and spent 5 years of our lives in Cleveland, MS.My Husband worked quite a few summers at Cleveland Country Club.This is a tournament that my family and friends have been playing in for (give or take) 20 years. I honestly cannot remember the exact first year, but I do know my children were very small, and my oldest turns 26 in August.
We have made this a tradition, and gather together yearly to catch up with each other, drive through campus, see what new restaurants have been added, how the town has grown/changed, and what is still there since our time there.This year, my husband’s usual tournament partner could not play because he is participating in his nieces wedding, so Stephen needed to find a temporary partner.Insert Lauren, our daughter would be home for the first summer in quite some time, and she plays a rare golf round every now and then in her free time. She was a division one college basketball player, so free time was almost non existent. Hence her first summer home, but Stephen thought “what the heck, she loves competition, so why not?”Lauren agreed. They filled out the paperwork, hand delivered it in April, and proceeded to prepare, while looking forward to the weekend and some fun competition.He books hotel reservations, dinner reservations, and the rest of us that don’t play make our usual plans of going to McCarty’s and The Gallery for lunch.Yesterday, morning we receive the phone call letting us know the Lauren would not be allowed to play.We ask why? She is a girl is the only reason given.
We then proceed to ask if we missed something. Is it stated anywhere that it is a Men’s Tournament? Does it say men’s only? The golf pro admits that it does not state anywhere that it is a men’s only tournament, but a girl has never played in the tournament before.
My husband explains that if it had stated it were a men’s tournament, he would never have asked her to play. He explained that we are fine with men or women only tournaments, and was unaware that women were not allowed to play. Not one of the people that play with them on a regular basis believed that she would not be welcome. Stephen explained how wrong he felt like the club was for the decision, but also for calling less than 24 hours before they were to leave town to travel to Cleveland. He explained that Lauren expected no special treatment and that she would play from the men’s tees like everyone else. She just wanted to play.The Golf Pro asked for some time to talk it over with some others and he would call back.He called back, after talking to the past pro, their decision stood. She would not be allowed to play. They did not want to open that “can of worms”.Lauren, then called to talk to him, she simply wanted a reasonable answer as to why. His response to her was “We have never had this problem before.” She then replied with “So, the fact that I am a girl is a problem?” Then she asked him “If Dad had lied and said that she was a boy, and she dressed like a boy, would she have been able to play”, and he replied, “Yes.”Insert my son, who also plays in the tournament. He sends an email to the club stating his offense and that he planned to let anyone that would listen know what happened.Stephen then gets a call from a friend he went to school with who (unknown to us) happens to hold a position on the board at the club. Hopefully that keeps him anonymous.He apologizes and asks Stephen, if they allow Lauren to play, would she still be willing to do so? Stephen talked to Lauren. She agreed. She just wants the right thing to be done. He lets us know he would get back with us very soon.5 1/2 hours later at 9:30pm Stephen reaches out to his friend to see what he needs to do about hotel reservations. He responded with we are still meeting, I’ll let you know soon.At 10:30pm Stephen reached out again before going to bed, he explained that if they were going to play in the tournament, he would be leaving by 9am the next morning. He was told, some members of the board had to go home, but they were still communicating via text. His friend would let him know something by 5am.5am - nothing, 6am - nothing, 7am - nothing, at 8am Stephen reached out again. He was told that they were still discussing the “issue”. But they would get back with him very soon.At 10:15am over an hour after Stephen and Lauren were supposed to leave town, Stephen reached out one last time to ask for a final decision. He explained he believed there was only one right answer and he could not believe that it had taken this long, but he had to know something or they would miss their tee time.After over 24 hours of thought, discussion, communication between the Board, current Golf Pro, past Golf Pro, and members of the club. The Cleveland Country Club decided to stand with their decision of not allowing a girl to play in the tournament that states nowhere it is a men’s only tournament simply because a girl has never played before.I'm simply shocked that clear heads could come together and still come out with the same conclusion.
69 comments:
Rules are rules. Ladies. If you don't like the rules, establish your own Country Club.
Does the Cleveland Country Club make women there wear burkas? Congratulations, CCC, you just set Cleveland tourism back about 50 years.
9:24 Tell me which “rule” said no women. If you don’t like that, form your men’s club.
What rules, seems like they make them up as they please. Frick them and feed um fish heads.
Baloney! A daughter dad duo??U guys would be NOWHERE w/o your better half driving a big portion of your life.
Baloney! A daughter dad duo??U guys would be NOWHERE w/o your better half driving a big portion of your life.
What a bunch of two faced Country Club wannabe buttholes.
I'm sorry that happened or happy for you, but I ain't reading all that.
Did they refund your gold fees an hotel accommodation if it was too late to cancel? Delta State is struggling with enrollment and this does not help. Just saying!
She could have identified as a man; there are men named Lauren!
C'mon people. They have so little in Cleveland. They need this.
These assholes look so backwards that they might as well have a bunch of posters up saying “Irish need not apply.”
If I were so much as a member there, I would be thoroughly embarrassed and would consider cancelling my membership.
Slightly left of center woman golfer here, and I’m not feeling this. I’ve played at courses all over the States and some in Europe, so I know firsthand that golf clubs aren’t exactly bastions of progressive liberalism. I just never took that personally.
If I had been a regular at any one course for twenty years, been in or around tournaments at that course, and never once seen a woman tee off at this particular annual event, there’s no way I would have shown up ready to play without having received the go ahead months in advance. But that would never happen because I would not want to be the only woman in a field of men, regardless of whether the tournament was billed as MEN only or not.
Sounds like real men to me... we need more of them. Especially as our leaders. Good for them!
The whole world has gone insane. It's now a generation of "if there's a rule or expectation, let's break it or refuse to comply" without any real reason given.
From the tones of these responses, it is very easy to see why they omitted women.
does the "both players have to be 50 or older" line on the registration doc have anything to do with it?
She didn't post it. Her momma did. Some say this tradition goes back decades. But nothing in any written rule or application indicates 'men only'.
This is a private entity, and they can hold a men's only tournament if they choose to. Women's only, as well, for that matter.
Mom's letter is full of drama for sure. Is she really trying to make a political point? Probably.
If this family has a membership in the CCC, remove them and refund this year's dues. Neither the government, ACLU nor Sharpton can do a damned thing about it.
Bet they have cart girls.
10:32, that’s my thought exactly. Just let the girl play. Leave out the drama.
Every member with a daughter should just quit.
You think there’s some things going on out there that the guys don’t want their wives and daughters to see?
Who the hell wants to play golf in Cleveland, MS?
Wonder if that club would've denied Paige entry
This captures the mindset of this state perfectly: We ain't never done it that way before so we ain't gonna do it that way now.
The past is never dead. It's not even past.”
― William Faulkner, Requiem for a Nun
Look at the CCC website. They have women and family events all the time. There is more to this story.
6:49/fed up in jackson, 50+ applies only to senior division
Why would they deny entry to anyone willing to play that goat ranch?
Betting the dad screwed over one of the board members in a business or land deal
In no way do I support their decision. However, I feel compelled to state that the Cleveland CC is a shotty golf course and not worthy of the time it would take to play 18 holes. Yes, I said it - a Shotty course. Would make a much better cotton field or catfish pond than a delta white men's club.
I've been to Cleveland, Oh and it's not a great visit. Can only wonder what's the draw in Cleveland, MS.
You would think they would beg females to play. This is the last remnant of a nice town in the Mississippi delta, but decaying at warp speed. If you get a chance, ride through the delta towns and do your own survey. Fill up before you get there and lock all car doors.
Can’t I choose the ladies I want to see on my property? I’ll bet you fifty if a well known rich celebrity was playing the rules and mindset would be favorable towards that lady!
Come on people it ain’t personal.
There is a raunchy comment aspect of men's golf that females should never hear. Tell the daughter the Club has too much respect for her to play in that tournament, where she would be exposed to vulgarity; Invite her to enter the Women's tournament, common at most CCs.
Thank you 9:05, for your voice of reason. MEN don't want WOMEN at their golfing events. They have to watch their language, not tell dirty jokes, hold their liquor better and all kinds of mean, nasty (fun) things. Deal with it. Women don't want MEN at their all girl events either. DUH.
The most shocking part of this is why anyone would voluntarily go to Cleveland, or anywhere else in the Delta.
Kingfish: Who is Paige?
11:32: What's any of this got to do with Delta State?
It's like Opie's treehouse, or Beaver Cleaver's clubhouse: If they don't want no girls included that's their right. Don't have to post no sign neither.
T-Shirts coming right up in 3..2..1
10:13 - if you don't know who Paige is, you should probably not be commenting about golf.
They have golf courses in Cleveland???
@ June 10, 2024 - Even Otis would know it's Spiranac.
I thought women were pissed off about men playing games with women. Now they are crying about the men not wanting them to play with them. What the hell is wrong with people. Decide one way or the other. It really isn't that important in the first place. If you do not like how the game is played, go somewhere else to play.
He-man woman hater’s club.
If the member wants his daughter to play with him, she should be allowed to play. I can't believe this is even a real subject of discussion. He is a member and there are no written rules to prevent her from playing. There is no real disadvantage for her playing that any if us know of in this situation. We have come so far in the world, are we going to allow all of us to backslide even more?
Although it’s a private club, this would get decided in the female’s favor if she chose to battle these losers in court. The club is open to both men and women, the entry says nothing about being exclusive to Neanderthals, this is a very easy case to prove discrimination. I hope they do pursue this and sue the club out of existence since their board opened this can of discriminatory worms. If men can’t handle losing to women, they should start a men’s only club.
We play pasture golf on the back 40 acres after hubby bushhogs it. We use a couple of old golf clubs, tennis balls, and put flags on cow patties for the holes. We don't care about gender, race, age, body weight, dress code or anything else and do not charge dues. Losers must buy a six pack or bottle of wine. The clubhouse is the barn, and we have a barn fan to deter horseflies. Our tournament will take place this weekend if hubby gets the clipping done in time and it don't rain. I'll cook some big slab of meat on the grill to feed everyone.
Yall just don't know what you're missing.
Just my 2 cents. I hope there isn't a lawsuit. It was a golf game. Mom got pissed and needed to vent. No problem, I get that. Club seems to accommodate males and females (looking at their website). Leave it alone. If this family wants to have a sit down with the country club, go for it.
karen
@10:57 What if a man wanted to play in a ladies' scramble at the club. Should they let him? And I mean a real man... not one of those wanna be girlie men.
The Cleveland 4-Ball Invitational is a highly competitive tournament pulling people in from all over the state with a Saturday night Calcutta. The Calcutta could see upwards of $50,000+ in gambling proceeds spent purchasing teams across 4 or 5 flights. This is for golfing gamblers. The Father / Daughter didn’t fit the Senior Division, nor did they fit the competitive division. The Father and Brother should know, Momma doesn’t understand. There are many tournaments across the state just like this, but most, if not all, state that female participants must play from the men's tees because of the money involved.
Agusta National has entered the chat.
Dear lord, so many ignorant comments that completely miss the point. Y’all probably think black folk only need to be allowed in the kitchen too.
@11:32 No, may have a decided advantage. Different situation here. This is a father/daughter team. He is not trying to get an advantage only playing golf with his daughter. Sounds like a great experience that was ruined by men like you.
Country Club People... They're their own world, and their squabbles are their own business.
Delta State got me off to a good start. And having crawled out of a two-room tarpaper shack, across the ditch from a cotton field, I dreamed of having one of those fine homes in Cleveland, out by the golf course. One, with a Mansard roof, its front walk flanked by stone griffons, became the image upon which I centered my aspirations.
But never did it cross my mind, that one might want, or need, to join the Country Club, or to actually play Golf. Had those thoughts ever entered my mind, I might have concluded that I wasn't good-enough to be around those people. So, it comes as a shock, to read the writings of someone of apparent MULTIgenerational Country Club/Golfing background, saying things such as:
"...and the rest of us that don't play..."
and
"...how wrong he felt like the club was..."
Delta State has a great library, with audio resources, in addition to all those books (which included, while I was there, many fine books dating from the school's opening, around 1925). I used that library, to remake myself and my husband. Well... ...the Library and the school's limited weightlifting facilities. We had a lot to overcome. Maybe, if we'd been golfing, we'd have been too busy for any of that.
I puzzle over the desirability of standing-around, having your skin needlessly damaged by the sun - in Mississippi's miserable heat - in the company of people wearing ugly clothes (part of Golf Culture, apparently), doing something which does nothing to build muscle - or build anything else, from what I can discern.
Can someone explain? Can Golf People not think of ANYTHING ELSE to do with their time?
@11:58 - I hope those members don’t mind paying 10x the Calcutta pot in attorney fees and judgements. I play golf and crap like this is embarrassing. There’s no good argument from excluding her from playing. The entry isn’t based on ability and I guarantee she wouldn’t have been the worst player there. If she was willing to play by the same rules as the males, then there are no arguments left. If the men think she’s not worthy of playing, then buy up the other teams in her flight and let it play out. They took the cowardly route and didn’t let her play so they could have their safe space sausage fest.
What's playin' golf got to do with makin' sammies?
1. She’s a Northpoint athlete - she’s used to discrimination and segregation.
2. Listen to an interview with the “girl” with your eyes closed. . .
3. This family discriminates against anyone who isn’t in their club - meaning white, Republican, and Baptist.
How you like them apples?
5:33 way up close to the top had the most common-sense answer. Well said.
Here's one that will get your collective hackles up: the only reason that the event wasn't billed as a Men's Only tournament is that none of the sexist dumbasses even CONSIDERED that one might assume otherwise. And that, my friends, is called Male Privilege.
"This is a tournament that my family and friends have been playing in for (give or take) 20 years....We have made this a tradition, and gather together yearly to catch up with each other, drive through campus, see what new restaurants have been added, how the town has grown/changed, and what is still there since our time there."
And not once did it occur to them that 4 Ball was a men's tournament in those 20 years? CCC probably handled this incorrectly by not catching it on the front end. Maybe they should have let her play this year and next year make it known it was a men's tournament. Country Clubs all over the place have men's only, women's only, families, juniors, etc tournaments. As someone mentioned earlier 4 Ball is rowdy with lots of drinking and gambling. People are taking this WAYYYYY out of context. Women and children are allowed there. It's not a men's only place. This club tournament however is. Momma has made a big spectacle about a mistake that wasn't caught until the day before. Mistakes happen. Probably wasn't handled 100% the way it should have been, however in today's cancel culture world where everyone who doesn't get their way runs to social media, she got what she wanted. There have been lots of accusations and mistruths all over social media. No one was scared of her winning and that's why they didn't let her play. There are no strippers on the golf course as some have alluded to. It's just a rowdy men's golf tournament with lots of drinking, lots of gambling, lots of cussing. If momma saw a video of her daughter around all of that, we may have another kind of Facebook post.
Cleveland Country Club is silly and backwards.
Aaaaaaand so is this mother and her immediate and extended family for anyone (read journalist) who takes the time to look into their background.
For Jackson-area people, this family lives in DeSoto County and the GREAT IRONY is that the Mom, Chelle (pronounced Shelly) May Gross, is a longstanding member of Broadway Baptist Church in Southaven, MS. Both sides of the family (the May Family and the Gross Family) are prominent members of this deeply self-righteous and insular church. Anyone close to this family knows Chelle (and family) are not used to hearing “no” very often. They get their way in matters big and small at Broadway. I am sure this has been a bewildering experience for the entire family.
Still, Chelle worships EVERY Sunday at a church where women can’t serve as a pastor, a deacon, or really any other meaningful position of leadership.
I know someone reading this post is just itching to tell me a country club is not the same thing as a church citing scripture like 1 Timothy 2:12, which states, “I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.”
I’m sure it is tough for Chelle to strike a balance between Biblical obedience and worldly equality when it comes to her daughter. Watching such a staunch Baptist women lean into newfound feminism is super cringy and dripping with obvious contradiction.
Chelle is absolutely intoxicated with how “right” she is and how “wrong” CCC is and has newfound purpose as a Facebook crusader. Stay in your place on Sunday, Lauren, but break the glass ceiling on the links. Chelle is sharing out on her Facebook page and thanking each news outlet in turn as the story spreads. She has worked herself into a self-righteous lather.
Chelle, just know that those who know you and your weirdo family are giggling to ourselves and enjoying this situation just a little bit.
It’s just so rich.
Maybe the Cleveland Country Club could officially change its name to the First Baptist Cleveland Country Club. Then I am sure Chelle would be obedient and go along with the club’s decision.
Sometimes some women see a chance to ram it up a man's ass and she just can't pass up the opportunity. "Hear me roar." The more men she can ram it up their backsides, the more she and her girls enjoy it.
GOLF ….Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden
Suggestions to MOM (if she posted this on FB) settle your private issues privately, not on social media
Unless you are posting for attention and are a drama queen and think you are, or your husband or daughter or other family members are“someone special”, follow up your vitriol and righteous indignation with legal action.
Having grown up in the Delta, most people there are generous and kind. ( Disclaimer…don’t live there now)
I hypothesize there is much more to this story😎 BTW the golf acronym is a myth
Having run many golf tournaments, I wouldn’t want my daughter being the only female golfing with a bunch of men. Another thing while golfing, baptists like their libations in a red solo cup…for real !
I mean it’s an annual 4-ball those are always men’s tournaments. This day and age I guess we should be gender specific on pamphlets but the dad should have known this.
Rumor mill has it that these “already booked rooms” were also already booked for the family to attend a wedding in town. But don’t let that get in the way on the quest for justice!
Apparently Chelle’s husband is flabbergasted by his wife’s post. Thats been well known since it was posted.
The son is the voice of the Statesman doing play by play. That’s going to be awkward when your mom’s Facebook post is basically letting people bash the entire town of Cleveland who has worked so hard to get where it is today. Chelsea made a clarifying post today about this.
Also, the club said the daughter could play, but score wouldn’t count and she would be a marker. This has to do with the Calcutta scores and it being unfair to other teams. Chelle edited her post to mention that, as well as the club refunding their entry fees.
I’m sure there will be more intriguing details to come out. Stay tuned!
7:11 So what do the off-brands use?
ok, I've read the 10,000 word post by this lady. My 2 cents, as a 60+ female.
1) Remove all the words having to do with the family members, their "standing", etc.
2) Dad asked daughter to play golf. Why he didn't ask son, who knows. Who cares.
3) You can stack all the boxes up you want, climb on top of them, and shout to the heavens all day that you are righteous. Doesn't make it so.
4) I would be mortified and embarrassed if I was related to this lady.
5) If you have so much "standing" and act like you own the town and everyone in it, then why didn't you know the rules? Her own words, "my husband’s usual tournament partner..." so its not your first time at this rodeo.
Advice: seek a mental evaluation for lady. Family members: get her off facebook and any other social media.
Signed,
An old broad.
11:21 the son played in the tournament on another team. He had no issue with their decision affecting his playing in the tournament. Tough stand to take.
Thanks 12:20 pm. Appears the only one screaming is the one needing to get off social media.
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