History tells us when those who yield to their shadow selves choose leaders of their ilk, calamity, often war, follows.
Saturday, December 31, 2016
Hinds County Circuit Judge Jeff Weill testified in the trial of Hinds County District Attorney Robert Shuler Smith today. He was called as a witness by Mr. Smith. Oddly enough, Smith's attorney, Jim Waide, classified him as a hostile witness during his testimony. The complete video of Judge Weill's testimony is posted below. You can read JJ's written coverage of his testimony on the Twitter feed.
Click Here to Read More..
Friday, December 30, 2016
A woman goes nuts when she sees some Trump yard signs in September in this Liveleak video. A police officer tries to reason with her but she is having none of it and proceeds to go even more nuts. She doesn't get arrested but does deliver some entertainment.
A Florida finance company sued Christopher Butler, Mega Mattress, and Jay Samander in U.S. District Court in August for allegedly defrauding the company. The Attorney General is currently prosecuting Butler in Hinds County for fraud charges related to the same allegedly fraudulent transactions. The lawsuit claims the defendants defrauded the lender of over $400,000. Mega Mattress is owned by Elias Dabit.
Thursday, December 29, 2016
The owner of Skybox Daquiri Bar & Bistro in Ridgewood Court has ruffled a few feathers on social media recently. Ray Kersh posted a twelve-minute video on Facebook that showed him pointing a gun at the camera, bragging about donations, and defending his establishment against those who trash it on social media. Needless to say, the video has garnered a considerable amount of attention.
It appears law enforcement in Jackson will be dragged through the mud yet again. The former Hinds County Chief Deputy sued Sheriff Victor Mason for sex discrimination, race discrimination, and sexual harassment yesterday in U.S. District Court. The complaint contains quite a few lurid allegations as former Chief Deputy Cheryl Matory accused Sheriff Mason of channeling his inner Bill Clinton by trying to use her to arrange sexual encounters with another employee. The complaint is posted below. Ms. Matory is represented by attorney Lisa Ross.
Wednesday, December 28, 2016
Hinds County District Attorney Robert Shuler Smith repeatedly refers to the Harvey Williams v. State of Mississippi (2014) case as he battles Attorney General Jim Hood. Mr. Smith claims the case prevents the Attorney General from prosecuting a case in Hinds County without the consent of the District Attorney and waves it as a flaming sword whenever the subject of Christopher Butler arises. However, what exactly is the holding of Williams? JJ decided to present the case and let the good readers decide for themselves.
Uncle Toms, N*****s, drugs, $100,000, and witness protection screens. Gang-banger's trial? Nope. These features were the order of the day yesterday in the trial of Hinds County District Attorney Robert Shuler Smith. The D.A. is fighting a three-count indictment that accuses him of illegally helping criminal defendants. Yesterday saw the testimony of Mr. Smith's attorney, Jim Waide, Christopher Butler's girlfriend, two MBN agents, and Assistant Attorney General Patrick Beasley.
The Clarion-Ledger's Anna Wolfe and Jackson Free Press's Timothy Summers have provided the bulk of the coverage since the first day and yesterday was no exception. Their live tweets from the courtroom report the courtroom events as they happen. Ms. Wolfe reported this morning:
So, is this Alabama football team the best in college football history?
Seems a perfectly reasonable question at this point. Nate Silver's FiveThirtyEight statistics-based website, says this year's version of Nick Saban's Crimson Tide machine has become the best college football team ever, narrowly surpassing the 1995 Nebraska Cornhuskers. As with all else it does, the website uses a thorough statistical analysis to come to that conclusion.
Tuesday, December 27, 2016
Chris Epps did not get a Get Out of Jail Free card. U.S. District Judge Henry Wingate refused to release the former MDOC Commissioner from jail Friday. Judge Wingate revoked his bond in November after Epps was arrested for breaking into his former home and removing some light fixtures. Judge Wingate decreed:
The trial of Hinds County District Attorney Robert Shuler Smith resumes today. Below is a summary of what took place last week. Judge for yourself who is ahead right now. Read Anna Wolfe's live tweets from the courtroom today as well.
Monday, December 26, 2016
Off from work today and looking for something different to watch? JJ stumbled across this little gem on Youtube. There is a channel dedicated to telling the story of The Great War but in a slightly different fashion. Indy Neidell provides a weekly video that covers the Great War as it unfolded that each week. Lectures, newspaper articles, videos, and photographs are used to give viewers a similar experience to what you would see if you lived one hundred years ago. This is a highly enjoyable way of learning history. Perfect for that brand new Ipad or smart tv you got for Christmas.
Sunday, December 25, 2016
It's a Wonderful Life was a catharsis of sorts for Jimmy Stewart. People forget that he was a bomber pilot in World War II and rose to the rank of Brigadier General. Needless to say, he'd seen his share of hell when he returned home. Author Robert Matzen told the story of how the Christmas classic brought the recovering combat veteran back to life in the Wall Street Journal yesterday. Mr. Matzen wrote:
Saturday, December 24, 2016
Merry Christmas state employees. The budget proposed by Lt. Gov. Tate Reeves, House Speaker Philip Gunn, and their budget committee colleagues targets you. If you get to keep your job, they want you to work harder and do more for no more pay. The budget is bad for your retirement (PERS) too. Oh, but you will get a tiny tax cut.
Friday, December 23, 2016
Give the good Doc some credit. Mississippi Superintendent of Education Dr. Carey Wright walked into the lion's den and delivered a stern warning to the Board of Trustees for Jackson Public Schools Tuesday night. Dr. Wright flat out told the crowded room that JPS faces the real possibility of a state takeover. A transcript of her speech is posted below. JJ strongly urges readers to read her speech if they care at all about Jackson.
An MDE audit released last summer found many schools were unsafe, lacked licensed teachers, graduated students that did not meet the requirements, and teachers that did not control their classrooms. JPS Superintendent Dr. Cedric Gray blew off the audit as he didn't even ask for a hearing to contest the audit. The first corrective action plan submitted by JPS was a joke as MDE said it was "inadequate". MDE is currently conducting a full audit of the entire district. Dr. Wright's remarks provide some of the preliminary findings for the current audit and frankly, JPS is in serious trouble. Dr. Wright's said:
Thursday, December 22, 2016
The Madison Police Department issued the following statements:
Update: Garcia served all but 100 days of his last prison sentence. He would have been free to commit this crime last week regardless of whether he served his full sentence.
Here is the Mississippi criminal record for one Joshua Garcia that was obtained from MDOC yesterday:
Wednesday, December 21, 2016
The Mississippi Department of Public Safety issued the following press release:
Local Jackson favorite Fenian's Irish Pub was burglarized two nights ago. The thief (or thieves) broke into the pub through the roof. The safe was opened and money was stolen. JJ attempted to contact owner Danny Cupit but a receptionist hung up the phone this correspondent tried to provide contact information for the local attorney.Click Here to Read More..
Tuesday, December 20, 2016
Opening arguments begin today in State v. Robert Shuler Smith. Smith was indicted for three counts of improperly helping a criminal defendant. A flurry of motions and responses were filed over the weekend. Smith tried to call Attorney General Jim Hood as a witness and also tried to obtain information form the Clarion-Ledger provided by its sources. JJ posted the remaining filings below that are deemed to be relevant as well as some highlights.
Monday, December 19, 2016
COUHGLIN & WILLIAMS, PLLC is pleased to announce that Kelly G. Williams is the first attorney in the state of Mississippi to be certified as a Child Welfare Law Specialist by the National Association of Counsel for Children (NACC).
|Kelly Williams, Esq.|
Kelly takes a creative unique approach to serving clients, recognizing the need for case specific strategies and has significant experience in all areas of child welfare law. Kelly’s mission is to provide client focused, high quality legal services with integrity, professionalism and respect for clients, the community and the judicial system. She takes a genuine interest in understanding client objectives in order to meet or exceed expectations. For her clients, she will work hard, provide superior legal services on a timely, effective and efficient basis, while maintaining the highest standards of professional integrity. Please visit our website at www.coughlinwilliamslaw.com. Kelly may be reached at 601-982-1111 or email@example.com.
Yup. The Hinds County District Attorney is trying to subpoena the prosecutor as a witness. Hinds County D.A. Robert Shuler Smith subpoenaed Mississippi Attorney General Jim Hood to testify at his criminal trial that begins today. The A.G. immediately filed a motion to quash the subpoena.
The Pentagon Papers comes to Hinds County. Hinds County District Attorney Robert Shuler Smith subpoenaed on December 9 all correspondence the Clarion-Ledger received from Christopher Butler. The newspaper said hell no and filed a motion to quash the subpoena on Thursday.
Sunday, December 18, 2016
Can you stand some good news? East Baton Rouge Deputy Nick Tullier continues to recover after he was shot three times in an ambush by a shooter who killed three other law enforcement officers in Baton Rouge in a July 17 attack. Tullier arrived at TIRR Memorial Hermann Hospital in Houston in a vegetative state. but is now starting to answer to questions and recognize words. The Baton Rouge Morning Advocate reported:
Saturday, December 17, 2016
“USM, seeking students, reduces out-of-state tuition,” read the recent newspaper headline.
“The idea is to reverse a 2,000-student enrollment dip by pricing a USM education below some public universities in nearby states, and attract enough high-schoolers from Houston, Dallas and San Antonio to raise overall revenue,” explained the Clarion-Ledger story. USM cut annual tuition for out-of-state students by 40%, from $16,529 to $9,964.
Friday, December 16, 2016
How many times can I write "You can't make this up"? Former JPS Superintendent Dr. Cedric Gray got a final paycheck of $195,000. JJ obtained record of his payment through a public records request. See for yourself:
Posted below are the worst pictures ever posted on this website. A puppy was literally beaten to a pulp recently. She was rescued by the Animal Rescue Fund (ARF) but it was too late. She was mercifully put down a few hours after her rescue. Words can't describe the horror that was inflicted on this poor little animal.
Click Here to Read More..
Thursday, December 15, 2016
Autopsies are never pretty and Politico's examination of the Hillary Clinton campaign is no exception. Politico focused on the campaign's operation in Mee-chigan. Actually, it is more accurate to write that the political website reported on the non-campaign that took place in the formerly blue state. The Michigan campaign is a good microcasm of how the national campaign operated. A Republican will read this with much glee while a Democrat will read this while resisting the urge to start throwing things at the wall. It is almost a case study in self-inflicted wounds. However, it is a pretty sober analysis and worth reading. Excerpts are published below with some commentary by yours truly.
The District Attorney's relationship with Too Sweet apparently went sour. Robert "Too Sweet" Henderson told the FBI that he paid bribes "directly" to Hinds County District Attorney Robert Shuler Smith. Too Sweet's testimony was recently submitted by the Attorney General in its prosecution against the D.A. A Hinds County grand jury indicted Smith in September for three counts of improperly helping defendants.
Ronnie Crudup, Jr. threw his hat in the ring today as he tries to become the next Mayor of Jackson. Mr. Crudup is the son of Bishop Ronnie Crudup, Sr.. Mr. Crudup works at his father's church, New Horizon Ministries. Mr. Crudup graduated from Murrah High School and Belhaven University. The press conference was held on Greenville Drive in South Jackson. The short video of the press conference. He took questions from the media after he finished his announcement.
Wednesday, December 14, 2016
It was going to happen sooner or later. It happened to Dak Prescott in his 12th NFL game. Finally, he did not play well enough to win.
On a frigid night and frozen field in New Jersey, the Dallas Cowboys finally lost a game and their rookie quarterback, the toast of the NFL for the three months running, looked ordinary. The New York Giants, playing superb defense, won 10-7.
Tuesday, December 13, 2016
When will anyone learn? FEMA is at it again. The Baton Rouge Morning Advocate reported yesterday that FEMA is paying double the retail value for mobile homes that are to be provided to flood victims. Read and weep:
Jeff Good posted the following message on Facebook:
Clinton Mayor Phil Fisher sent the following letter to his constituents and legislators:
Monday, December 12, 2016
It's that time of year. Vote in the Hottest Reporter Poll. Pretend you live in Ward 3. Vote early and often. No qualifications or ID are
required to vote here. Seriously, all of these reporters are underpaid
and overworked. They work long hours, take alot of abuse from those
they cover, especially from politicians. Most of them are fresh out of
school, scrapping and learning their trade, hoping they can improve
enough to move on to a bigger market. It's a tough job and if anything,
they are under appreciated. They get hate mail, cussed out by politicians, and go to areas that most people would avoid all while doing it with a smile. All images were culled from their employer's websites, Google images,
and public Facebook pages. Oh, and be nice in the comments. That
includes Johnny Weir.
Note: Two reporters were accidentally omitted so the poll was reset with their names included.
Cecil McCrory wants to withdraw his guilty plea in the Chris Epps scandal. McCrory pleaded guilty to one count of conspiracy to commit money laundering in 2015. McCrory worked with Chris Epps to shake down MDOC vendors for bribes and kickbacks. McCrory would act as the middleman and pay off Mr. Epps when he was MDOC Commissioner. McCrory alleged that he was innocent of the charges and poorly represented by his lawyer, Don Leland. Earlier post about motion to withdraw. McCrory also charged that then-Assistant U.S. Attorney Mike Hurst "manipulated" his case for his upcoming run for Mississippi Attorney General. McCrory is now represented by Carlos Tanner. However, the transcript of the hearing tells a somewhat different story.
Sunday, December 11, 2016
The Jackson Public School District Board of Trustees fired Dr. Gray. However, Dr. Gray didn't leave without defending himself in a column published in the Clarion-Ledger. JJ is going to set the record straight because Dr. Gray took no responsibility for anything as he made excuses and cast blame anywhere he could.
You.can't.make.this.up. Some students at THE Ohio State University protested the shooting of a terrorist who used a knife and a car to maim and injure eleven people on campus two weeks ago. The student newspaper, The Lantern, reported Thursday:
Saturday, December 10, 2016
Friday, December 9, 2016
What is taking place right now in Dallas is nothing short of a pension Armageddon. The Dallas Police and Fire Pension System invested in risky real estate deals, including a swanky 200 condo development in downtown Dallas at the height of the housing meltdown. Retirees have withdrawn well over a half a billion dollars from the system as they fear its imminent collapse. The Dallas Morning News reported yesterday:
Attorney General Jim Hood issued the following press release:
Cecil McCrory filed a motion to withdraw his guilty plea to conspiracy to commit money laundering yesterday in U.S. District Court. McCrory worked with Chris Epps to shake down MDOC vendors for bribes and kickbacks. McCrory would act as the middleman and pay off Mr. Epps when he was MDOC Commissioner. McCrory alleged that he was innocent of the charges and poorly represented by his lawyer, Don Leland. McCrory also charged that then-Assistant U.S. Attorney Mike Hurst "manipulated" his case for his upcoming run for Mississippi Attorney General. McCrory is now represented by Carlos Tanner.
Thursday, December 8, 2016
The economy hasn't grown since 2007. Such news will come as a surprise to more than a few people but a Gallup Report says that is exactly what has happened - or rather, hasn't happened. Gallup said the economy is "dangerously running on empty." Gallup prepared the report for the U.S. Council on Competitiveness. The report stated:
Wednesday, December 7, 2016
Collection of all posts on the Frazier case.
Claiborne Frazier struck out yet again in court. The Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals denied his appeal of his guilty plea in 2014. Frazier pleaded guilty to wire fraud, mail fraud, and conspiracy to commit bank fraud. U.S. District Judge Keith Starrett sentenced him to sixty months in prison. Judge Starrett also ordered him to pay $8.5 million in restitution to his victims . The brief opinion is posted below.
The Executive Director of the Mississippi Board of Medical Licensure wants to make physicians who might be tempted to sexually assault a patient think twice before they do it. Dr. John Hall proposed passing legislation that will close loopholes and toughen the criminal statutes for sexually abusive doctors. The next session of the Mississippi Legislature begins next month. Earlier post. However, some doctors on the Board do not exactly see eye to eye with Dr. Hall. The Mississippi Business Journal reported this week:
75 years has not erased the horror that was the bombing of Pearl Harbor. The Japs had run roughshod over China and throughout the Pacific for years. They decided to knock out the U.S. Pacific Fleet using tactics that had worked on the Royal Navy and against Russia nearly forty years earlier. The rest is the Day of Infamy. Take a moment to remember the souls of those who died that day and those who fought back. JJ took the liberty of posting videos of that fateful attack.
Tuesday, December 6, 2016
The Keifer's restaurant on Poplar Street was robbed last night. An employee apparently left the back door ajar. A gentleman came through the back door and robbed the restaurant. He was armed with a pistol. The loss is estimated to be between $500-1,000. The suspect is a black male who was wearing a purple hoodie. His face was covered. There were no injuries. The incident happened after closing when only a few employees were present.Click Here to Read More..
Is yet another crony capitalist deal about to blow up in Mississippi? Our favorite reporter, Anita Lee of the Sun-Herald, reported that the city of Biloxi sued Biloxi Baseball and Overtime Sports over a deal that has apparently soured:
Monday, December 5, 2016
Belhaven has a prowler. Keep an eye out for the dude who is in the picture and video posted below. A reader send them to this correspondent and said " this guy was creeping around my back door at 1am in Belhaven." JPD is aware of this incident.
Sunday, December 4, 2016
Saturday, December 3, 2016
How appropriate. Fate chose the week of the Egg Bowl for legislative leaders to have to wipe lots of egg off their faces.
How silly. House Republican leaders passed a rule, with Senate mimicry pending, to deny media access to the Legislature’s contracts, only to find out they were violating their own law.
Friday, December 2, 2016
Big game tonight in Starkpatch, as Clinton and Pearl face off to see who will be the Heavyweight Champ in Mississippi high school football. The city of Clinton posted the following information for the game tonight:
Thursday, December 1, 2016
Wondering what to watch on tv? It's at least six months before Game of Thrones returns. There is one episode left of Westworld. However, don't despair. Vikings returned last night to the History Channel. If you have not seen this series before, give it a try. The first four and a half seasons are available on Amazon Prime Video. Here is the trailer to the second half of season 4:
The Mississippi Supreme Court remanded the capital murder conviction of Laqunn Sharod Gary back to Hinds County Circuit Court after it held that Judge Jeff Weill violated the Gary's due process. Gary confessed to a murder but then tried to challenge his confession and asked for a hearing to suppress the evidence. Judge Weill denied his motion for the hearing. However, the Court ordered Judge Weill to hold the hearing and then possibly hold a new trial if the confession is disqualified. The opinion is posted below. Judge Weill nemesis public defender Allison Kelly represented the defendant. There was no dissent.
Collection of all PERS posts
The Mississippi Public Employees Retirement System continues to spin its wheels in the mud as the latest actuarial report states that the program is only 60% funded.* The Board of Trustees received the news at the presentation of the annual report at the October board meeting. The actual report and video of the presentation are posted below. The nutshell version of the report is that the numbers that should be getting smaller are getting larger while the numbers that should be getting larger are getting smaller. In other words, PERS is going in the wrong direction.
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Most popular posts last week.
- Bill Crawford: Dwell more in the light
- Judge Weill takes the stand
- Bedwetter alert
- CON granted to Brandon company
- Ridgeland PD seek bank robbery suspect
- Update on RSS trial.
- Lender claims Butler et al ripped off over $400,00...
- Kemper might get federal help
- No comment: Skybox Edition.
- Rankin ring busted
- Sheriff sued
- Carjacker shoots at JPD
- Does the Williams case handcuff the A.G.? We repor...
- Please donate
- Christmas tree pickup
- D.A. calls AG prosecutor "Uncle Tom"
- Rick Cleveland: Is Bama best ever?
- Epps to stay in jail
- Watership goes down.
- MHP: 3 fatalities on state highways
- D.A.'s trial resumes
- Blast from the past.
- Like a Boss
- See The Great War
- Valentines turn into Grinches
- Paul Harvey tells a Christmas story
- How Jimmy Stewart became George Bailey
- Merry Christmas
- No comment
- CMU FOOD FIGHT!!!
- Clinton Carjackers Canned
- Bill Crawford: Budget brings ashes & switches
- Subway robber arrested
- JPS still doesn't get it.
- Suspect drives wrong way on I55, kills driver. (Up...
- R.I.P. Mac
- Update on triple homicide case
- MHP will be out in force
- Oops! Your license may not be suspended after all...
- Arrest made in Greenville Church fire case
- Update on RSS trial.
- Fenians robbed
- Rick Cleveland: Do we have too many bowls?
- Triple murder suspects seen in Tennessee
- Zoo receives ZAA accreditation
- Warnock & Madison County settle for half a mill
- Watch RSS trial live
- Update on State v. Robert Shuler Smith
- Update on triple murder
- Attorney Kelly Williams is a Child Welfare Law Spe...
- Madison Subway robbed
- And subpoenas Jim Hood. Scorched-earth, Baby!!!
- D.A. goes after Clarion-Ledger
- Spare the rod....
- Miracles never cease
- Three elderly men murdered
- It's Sunday morning
- Skimmer found in Clinton
- Bill Crawford: Should we recruit more out of state...
- Dr. Gray says goodbye for $195,000
- Rogue One is here
- Savage. Just plain savage.
- The Clinton autopsy
- MDE approves JPS correction plan
- Too Sweet says he paid bribes to D.A.
- It's time to get drunk.
- Ronnie Crudup, Jr. announces candidacy for Mayor
- Phone Scam Alert
- Ashley Madison pays $52,489 fine
- Peace in our time?
- Cruz cruising on out (Updated)
- Meet some of Jacktown's finest
- Rick Cleveland: Dak faces his first pro test
- More, more, MORE FEMA follies
- Get in the Christmas spirit: Give a toy, get a tre...
- Clinton Mayor: Increase gas tax & sales tax divers...
- ATM stolen at Belhaven Walgreens
- Pray for the Bluntson family
- Good Job!!!
- Vote for the Hottest Reporter in Jackson
- Totally out of touch.
- In his own words.
- Dr. Gray shows why he is clueless and incompetent ...
- Crimestoppers Alert
- Students are mad that a terrorist was killed while...
- State purchases most of Cat Island
- Dealing with Life's Discouragements
- Former Alcorn County Sheriff pleads guilty
- Bill Crawford: PERS "mortgage" balloons
- The Right Stuff
- Pension Armageddon in Dallas
- Check charities before donating
- Madison insurance agent busted for pocketing premi...
- McCrory reneges
- Bedwetter alert
- Dale speaks
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The Kingfish's Favorite Posts
- Presenting the Mississippi State Capitol (Video)
- Editorial: The airport belongs to Jackson. Period.
- Kelly arrested for taking pics of Rose Cochran
- The Real Face of Mississippi Government
- PERS gets mo' money but funding level falls
- Majority black public school districts spend more, waste more, fail more
- Jackson's water bond failure: The REST of the story.
- Time to return fire on Banks
- Supervisor votes on projects next to land he owns
- Throwdown at the Levee Board
- Door shuts on another life
- Truth begins to come out in Irby case
- Judge orders interview of Irby
- Steadivest: Snakes or snake-bitten?
- Post-election thoughts
- Rest of the story about Crisler's shooting
- Jackson paying $4 million in fees
- Will Jackson end up like Birmingham
- Record-breaking fraud?
- FBI contacted MVT about Evans
- Heather Spencer police reports
- An open letter to John McCain
- Are your 401k's safe from Democrats?
- Democrats' Plans for Controlling the Media
- Who is Teresa Ghilarducci?
- Kingfish wins at Ethics Commission
- Tribe of Obama
- Berry V. Aetna (rankin County Cesspool)
- Incest in Dixie: Mississippi Legal Profession
- Jim Hood: Liar
- JFP Tax Problems? (See comments)
- The SafeCity Bill
- Isn't this called secession?
- A Black Governor in Mississippi?
- Time to grade Miles' exam
- Domestic Violence & Divorce in Mississippi
- Truthwatch, eh?
- What is Jackson Jambalaya?
- Election Night Thoughts
- Counter-Insurgency for Beginners
- Jazz for Beginngers
- Mayor Melton's Soljah
- A Leopard Can't Change His Spots, Can Jere Nash?
- Harborwalk Hoax?
- A Pox on All Your Houses
Local Media & Blogs
- Clarion Ledger (Jackson, MS Gannett Newspaper)
- Mississippi Magazine
- The Rez News
- West Jackson Facebook page
- Y'all Politics
- Downtown Jackson Partners
- Mississippi Litigation Review
- Jackson Free Press (Jackson, MS Alternative Weekly)
- The Magnolia Report
- Majority in Mississippi
- The Northside Sun
- Mississippi Magazine
- The Mississippi Link
- Tom Head's Civil Liberties Website
- Blog on Mississippi Sovereignty Commission
- Harborwalk Thread (Jackson's Latest Boondoggle)
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.