It's that time of year and you know what it means: It's time for my award-winning egg nog recipe:
Monday, November 30, 2015
U.S. District Judge Dan Jordan, III remanded a lawsuit filed by the West Rankin Utility Authority against Jackson back to Rankin County Circuit Court today. West Rankin sued Jackson in April for the return of funds it paid to Jackson for treatment of its wastewater. West Rankin claimed Jackson misspent the funds after it audited how the funds were spent. Jackson tried to remove the lawsuit to federal court.
The fight to put Jackson zoning applications online continues into another month. Ward 1 Councilman Ashby Foote is trying to pass an ordinance that will require the city to post all zoning requests online. However, the council delayed taking action as Mr. Foote was unable to attend and city officials wanted to water down his proposal.
Sunday, November 29, 2015
Mississippi State, Ole Miss and Southern Miss all boast 8-3 records heading into the last weekend of the regular season. Ole Miss and State are ranked. All are headed to bowls. USM plays for a division championship Saturday. There's a chance, albeit slight, Ole Miss will, as well.
This is quite a bit of football success for one small state. It's not unprecedented, but it is rather remarkable.
Smart football people often correctly say quarterbacks get too much credit for a team's success and too much blame for a team's failure. So let's put it this way: You can't blame Dak Prescott, Chad Kelly or Nick Mullens for much at all this season. They do deserve lots and lots of credit.
Saturday, November 28, 2015
Friday, November 27, 2015
This is what happens when someone lives in the most corrupt state in America. You grow up seeing everyone on the take and just assume when you go out of state that everyone else is on the take as well. A Vicksburg drug dealer found out the old saying about "assume" is true as well. Our friend Carol Robinson reported in Al.com:
Thursday, November 26, 2015
Click Here to Read More..
Kiiiiiiim Wade discusses his visit to Reimagine Prep on November 13. He goes into the usual Friday afternoon Jackson Gun & Knife Club rap but then moves on the McDowell Road charter school at 10:50. The opponents of charter schools have had their run in the media for the last few years. Now it is time to present the real story.
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
A group of Ridgeland residents filed a lawsuit seeking to overturn zoning changes granted to developers Andrew Mattiace, Buster Bailey, and Jim Barksdale for the Costco development. The lawsuit is posted below. It was filed in Madison County Circuit Court.
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
Voters in Rankin and Madison counties have a choice between Steve Ratcliff and Marty Miller for Circuit Court judge. If you want to learn more about each candidate, click on their ads on the right side of the page. The circuit judge handles all criminal cases so this election might be important. You have a no-good shyster and a real American running for this job so choose wisely. ;-)Click Here to Read More..
The losers for Supervisor, Justice Court Judge, and Constable all filed election challenges this morning in Hinds County Circuit Court. Robert Graham just won't stop trying to get that third vote.
Gulfside Casino Partnership petitioned Chancellor Dewayne Thomas in September to seal records that were part of its application for a Mississippi Tourism Sales Tax rebate. Gulfside sued MDA and the Kingfish (oui, c'est moi) on September 10 after this website asked for copies of all rebate applications submitted to MDA. Judge Thomas granted the protective order on September 11.
Monday, November 23, 2015
Madison County District 4 Supervisor Karl Banks sued the Madison County Election Commission and David Bishop today in Madison County Circuit Court. Mr. Banks lost the recent election to Mr. Bishop by two votes. Mr. Banks claims the Commission didn't open four sealed paper affidavit ballots and improperly excluded 27 affidavit ballots as well. The complaint is posted below.
When assessing the turnaround of Southern Miss football this season, you'd first like to find a similar situation with which to compare it. Who else has gone from so bad to this good this quickly?
No similar case study comes immediately to mind, certainly not in USM history, because USM had never been that bad.
United Healthcare is preparing to throw in the towel on the Affordable Care Act as it is hemorrhaging money on the exchanges. $700 million in the red is not exactly chump change, even in the Fortune 500. The Wall Street Journal reported Friday:
Sunday, November 22, 2015
Updated with witness statement posted below.
A security officer punched an Ole Miss fan in the face at Vaught-Hemingway stadium yesterday during the LSU-Ole Miss game. Holly Barnes, the wife of the victim, posted this message and video on Facebook:
Saturday, November 21, 2015
Tomorrow is Jeff Gordon's last race. He is hanging it up for good although I wish he would give Indy car a try for one year. Here is what I consider to be one if his most entertaining races although he lost by a few inches at the end.Start at 45:00. Six laps to go is some of the best racing you will ever see.
Friday, November 20, 2015
Update: Gofundme account set up for Mrs. Mitchell's funeral.
Missouri native Kristy Mitchell was murdered in the parking lot of Logan's on County Line Road last night. The suspect allegedly murdered another woman, and went on a shooting spree that started in Jackson and ended in Ridgeland. Few people here probably knew Mrs. Mitchell. She was a wife, a mother, and a grandmother. Her Facebook profile shows she loved her bassett hound and wasn't afraid to take the ice bucket challenge with her grandchildren last year. She was proud of her son who serves in the Army. Her Facebook posts are poignant when one realizes it is her last day in this world. She is not another statistic but a victim who came to Jackson.
Our friends over at Slabbed.org issued this press release and also sued some pals of Aaron Broussard. Broussard of Katrina and Louisiana corruption fame. The lawsuit is posted below as well.
Thursday, November 19, 2015
The war over all things Costco continues as the Clarion-Ledger and Andrew Mattiace slug it out in the courtroom. The issue is pretty simple. Mr. Mattiace and his fellow developers want nearly $30 million in tourism sales tax rebates from the Mississippi Development Authority while the newspaper and this website think you have a right to know how your money is spent. If Mr. Mattiace wants to get his hands on the sales tax money, perhaps its times to dissect the tourism sales tax rebate program and see what exactly is in the MDA woodpile.
Click Here to Read More..
And there arose to the north of Eden a tribe called the Hotty-Toddys, who were also called metros. And the Hotty-Toddys were very displeasing; they didst place centerpieces on their banquet tables, and didst exalt themselves much. And they didst glorify the southern kingdom of the past.
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
Moody's Investor Service issued the following statement yesterday:
Click Here to Read More..
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
Yet another health club in the Jackson area is closing down. Fitness Lady will shut its doors on Thanksgiving and become part of Holmes Community College. Fitness Lady will join the Courthouse Racquet Club and The Club in selling to non-profit or government agencies and thus going off of the tax rolls.
JJ obtained a copy of the purchase agreement for the sale of the Courthouse to UMMC through a public records request. However, the term "sale" must be loosely used because much of the transaction appears to be a donation. The contract is posted below. Some observations of the transaction are:
Monday, November 16, 2015
State Auditor Stacey Pickering issued the following press release:
Correction: The story posted below has been corrected. The original post stated the home and dog owner was Hubbard Saunders of Douglas Street. The actual owner was Perry Richardson and the attack was on Gay Street. Mr. Saunders' name was posted after talking to JPD. However, JJ later learned the information was wrong. Mr. Saunders is not connected to this story at all. JJ apologizes to Mr. Saunders. Mistakes will be made but this website has no problem owning up to them. Comments with his name will be removed.
JPD euthanized five pit bulls and pit bull mixed-breed dogs after they attacked a homeowner and his friend late on October 1. JPD said the attack took place on Gay Street in Northeast Jackson. The homeowner was Perry Richardson. Police sources say the man was chewed up so badly that he resembled a homicide victim. The dogs then turned on the owner when he tried to restrain them. Police were called to the residence. One police officer said the dogs "were killing machines. They were not dogs." JPD seized the dogs and later put them down. This was the second attack by the dogs in six months. A neighbor stated in an email sent to JJ:
Click Here to Read More..
Clarion-Ledger reporter Clay Chandler will be leaving the newspaper for a job down the street. The hard-working scribe will assume the new position of Communications Director for Governor Phil Bryant. He has a reputation as a solid business reporter. We wish him well in his new endeavor.
Update at 9:06: The Governor's office just issued this press release:
Sunday, November 15, 2015
A lawsuit filed on November 12 in U.S. District Court claims Noxubee County has more registered voters than actual residents of voting age. The American Civil Rights Union filed the lawsuit against the Noxubee County Election Commission. It is a public interest group in Washington, DC. It claims that there were 9,217 registered voters in March 2015 despite having a voting age population of 8,245 according to the U.S. Census (See page 4 in the complaint posted below.). The plaintiff claims number of registered voters grew to 9,444 in September. Attorney Henry Ross in Eupora represents the plaintiffs. The ACRU asks the court to order the county to purge and maintain accurate voter rolls.
The Medical Board of Licensure held its bi-monthly meeting Thursday in Jackson. The board held several hearings for doctors seeking to regain their medical licenses. The board literally flew through the agenda until it reached the section for the hearings. The hearing for Dr. Michael White of Columbus grew very contentious as Dr. White attempted to regain his license.
Environmental groups stopped Synagro Technologies from using sewage sludge as "fertilizer" in Pennsylvania farms. The state oddly enough granted the permits to Synagro for this particular use of the sludge but then refused to dismissed the lawsuits. Law360 reported:
Saturday, November 14, 2015
Friday, November 13, 2015
Update on 11/14/15: Sheriff Bailey just issued this statement.
Missing Rankin County teen Kaelyn Grace Conerly has been located. At approximately 3:30pm the Rankin County Sheriffs Office developed information that the missing teen was in Smith County. Smith County Sheriff Charlie Crumpton had deputies stop the vehicle the missing teen was supposed to be in and they did locate her inside the vehicle. Rankin County deputies are on the way to Smith County to pick her up. She is in good health. This investigation continues.
Rankin County Sheriff Bryan Bailey issued the following statement and picture:
There was a rumble in Hinds County Chancellor Dewayne Thomas's courtroom Tuesday. The lawyers participating in the Farish Street litigation required the "intervention" of the bailiffs after a heated argument quickly devolved into a screaming match. One attorney accused other attorneys of not communicating settlement offers to the client. That allegation lit the fuse. The Chancellor held them all in contempt and fined each lawyer $200.
Thursday, November 12, 2015
Leroy Smith issued a press release about his interest in Farish Street:
This beer is very hop forward, with most added at the end of the boil including, chinook, centennial, and cascade. It gets exciting in the dry hop with Amarillo adding red grapefruit character. A hoppy but clean pale ale. You can find this beer at LD’s Beer Run, Hops and Habanas, The Humidor, McDades’s, and Whole Foods. Click Here to Read More..
The Madison County Election Commission certified the results for the District 4 Supervisor race. The Clarion-Ledger's Sarah Fowler is tweeting away from the courthouse in Canton. Follow her at @fowlersarah as she is providing pretty good coverage on Karl Banks's loss. Don't worry, there will probably be a ballot examination and a court challenge.Click Here to Read More..
Here are the "C" ratings for Jackson metro area restaurants issued since July 30. The Mississippi Department of Health inspects and grades each restaurant. The department inspects the restaurant again within ten days after the "C" is issued. The restaurant listed below all passed their follow-up inspections unless otherwise noted.
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
The Farish Street fracas in Hinds County Chancery Court may be over as the parties reached a settlement that was approved by Chancellor Dewayne Thomas. JRA and Watkins Development agreed to turn over the whole deal to LCS Land Development. JRA The company is owned by Leroy Smith of Colorado.
Madison County District 4 Supervisor Karl Banks challenged the certification of the District 4 supervisor election as he claimed 29 affidavit ballots were omitted from the results. He sent this letter to the Madison County Election Commission.
The Courthouse News reported that Viking Range and its parent company Middleby Marshall, Inc. are suing former CEO Fred Carl, Jr. and other former Viking officers for fraud in Delaware Superior Court. The plaintiffs seek $100 million in damages. The Courthouse News reported:
Click Here to Read More..
When Mississippi's PGA Tour stop began so humbly 48 years ago, organizers called it the Magnolia State Classic.
With nearly half a century of history, it now seems perfectly clear a more appropriate name was available: The Monsoon Open.
Medicaid enrollments shot up 34% for the 28 states that expanded Medicaid. JJ reviewed enrollments posted on the Kaiser Family Foundation's website. The growth occurred between the passage of the Affordable Care Act and August 2015. The 19 states that did not expand the Medicaid program under the ACA saw their enrollments rise only 8%.
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
State Senator Melanie Sojourner and the State Senator she beat four years ago, Bob Dearing, are locked in their own death struggle at the courthouse. The vote-counting has been real tight and no one yet knows who will win the race. Things got interesting yesterday as the Butler Snow dons, oops, I meant lawyers showed up yesterday to represent Mr. Dearing at the courthouse. Keith Plunkett reported on his MississippiPep blog:
Mississippi Attorney General Jim Hood refused to issue an opinion to the Jackson City Council on whether Jackson followed the law in issuing a sludge removal contract. What is interesting is that the City Council's request apparently states that the partnership of Denali/Socrates Garrett offered a lower bid. The opinion request states:
Monday, November 9, 2015
JJ has confirmed that David Bishop beat incumbent Karl Banks in the Madison County District 4 Supervisor race by two, yes TWO votes. That is the official results. All number previously discussed in the media were unofficial tabulations and votes.Click Here to Read More..
Brandi Barnett and Crystal Martin settled their catfight in federal court last week. Ms. Barnett was the girlfriend of deceased attorney Precious Martin. He was killed in an ATV accident in May 2014 in Ridgeland. Mr. Martin had purchased a $500,000 life insurance policy and stated Ms. Barnett was to be the beneficiary. Mrs. Martin sued the insurance company in U.S. District Court for the insurance policy proceeds. Ms. Barnett sued State Farm and Mrs. Martin. Mrs. Martin then sued Ms. Barnett for alienation of affection. The case went downhill from there. Court documents state the case settled last week:
Tress Temple Gardner died yesterday. She was the daughter of the deceased Carolyn Temple. She was 40 years old. Please keep that family in your thoughts and prayers. There are two boys who lost their mother and grandmother during 2015. A close friend of Mrs. Gardner's posted this note on Facebook about her dear friend last night and gave JJ permission to post it here.
Jackson Mayor Tony Yarber blasted the city council at a press conference last week after the city council rejected a contract to remove biosolids. The city faces a December 1, 2017 deadline under an EPA consent decree. The city council rejected a contract with Denali and Garrett Enterprises after a heated debate between the Mayor and council members.
Sunday, November 8, 2015
Meet Heather Dexter, an anti-vaxxer in Mee-chigan. Read her account of how she took her three kids through nearly six months of hell when they caught whooping cough. It is hard to describe her idiocy as she thought giving her kids enemas would cure the disease. She seemed to think the children were doing better as they got worse. You can't make this up. Keep in mind the woman is serious as she wrote this ode to child abuse.
Saturday, November 7, 2015
Update: Antonio Harris was cleared by JPD and is no longer a suspect.
One suspect in the Fred's Dollar Store robbery on Parkway Drive (by Old Colonial Heights Baptist Church) is rapper Antonio "Animosity" Harrs. This little homie is a rapper who posts his crap on Youtube. Here is one such video. He and his crew are literally spelling everything out what they are going to do in the lyrics. The suspect in the Dollar General (McDowell Road) robbery, Marcus "Troublemane" Lawson acts out in the video as well. These aren't little wannabe thugs. They are thugs. They also want you to know it. See for yourself.
Friday, November 6, 2015
JPD issued the following press releases on several robberies.
Update: The deceased was John Winfield. Law enforcement sources said he was dead for two days before the police were called. A housemate called police upon discovery of his body. He was a military veteran and suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder. He posted comments on this website several times under his own name.
Original post on 11/5/15 at 1:53 PM: An ambulance and two JPD cruisers appeared at the Oxford House on2230 East Northside Drive today. JPD told JJ that a resident died of natural causes. No other information is available at this time. Pictures are posted below. The black SUV belongs to the Coroner. Landlord Anna Fiser Stephens and her father were seen in the yard while police investigated the scene.
Thursday, November 5, 2015
IF you are going to Mistletoe Marketplace this week, check out Somebody's Mother's booth. The booth was a pleasant surprise as it offered a variety of dessert sauces. The caramel was divine, the mocha stirs the taste buds, and the white chocolate is simply decadent. Not a bad substitute at all for pound cake batter. Its Wikipedia page states "Each lid of a jar of Somebody's Mother's Chocolate Sauce displays quotes about mothers or a quote from a famous mother." Stop by and sample their dessert sauces if you visit the Trademart this week.
Click Here to Read More..
UPDATE: Ms. Fowler just tweeted "BREAKING: David Bishop appears to have won Madison County Supervisor District 4 by ONE VOTE"
Update: Ms. Fowler is now streaming through periscope on her phone.
Follow the Clarion-Ledger's Sarah Fowler on Twitter to keep up with the scavenger hunt in Madison County as several candidates look for more votes. Her Twitter handle is @fowlersarah. Here are some updates from this morning:
Click Here to Read More..
This is the tale of two guys named Smylie, one a 23-year-old PGA Tour rookie sensation who shot 61 in the final round of a recent Las Vegas golf tournament to win fame, fortune ($1.15 million) and a spot in The Masters next April.
Wednesday, November 4, 2015
*Earlier post with copy of report and ratings.
Dr. Louann Woodward, Vice Chancellor for Health Affairs and Dean of the School of Medicine
at UMMC, sent out the following email to UMMC staff in response to the Leapfrog report that gave the medical center an "F" for hospital and patient safety.*
Lawyers representing the Jackson Municipal Airport Authority submitted invoices in September and October that were lower than they have been since they were retained. However, the combined billings for both months were $87,749 (an average of $43,874). The Walker Group and the May Firm current represent JMAA.
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Leftenant Governor Tate Reeves JUST issued the following press release:
Update: Karl Banks is down by 18 votes.... and there are supposedly well over 150 ballots to count. This will be fun to watch.
We will live-blog away here starting around 7:45 or so. Feel free to go ahead and comment about elections on this post.
Hinds County District 1 Supervisor Robert Graham protested the use of a new company that provides medical services to Hinds County inmates at the October 5 of the Board of Supervisors. Mr. Graham tried to use the "minority participation" tactic to bring Carl Reddix back into the Hinds County detention centers.
The only competitive race in Hinds County, hell, in Hinds, Rankin, or Madison counties is the Sheriff's race. Victor Mason, Les Tannehill, and Charlotte whatshername are all running for the office today. Feel free to comment away on this thread. No name-calling and no slander.Click Here to Read More..
Monday, November 2, 2015
A recent discussion at the Jackson City Council shows why bureaucrats are universally disliked. Ward 1 Councilman Ashby Foote wants zoning applications posted online after they are submitted to the city. The city council members seemed inclined to go along with his idea last week at a meeting of the Planning and Zoning Committee. However, Zoning Administrator Esther Ainsworth tried to stop the council from doing so as she made it quite clear she wants to keep forcing people to file public records requests and pay whatever fees she decides to charge.
The healthcare watchdog organization Leapfrog Group gave UMMC an "F" rating on hospital safety. Leapfrog states on its website that factors such as infection rates, mistakes, errors, and accidents determine the score. Leapfrog provided the following ratings to local hospitals:
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Most popular posts last week.
- ► 2016 (1504)
- Time to get drunk.
- Judge sends sludge fight back to Rankin County
- Laying down the smack
- Skirmish over posting zoning apps online continues...
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- JPD nabs one carjacker, seeks another
- Rick Cleveland rates the quarterbacks.
- Bert Case update
- The spice must flow
- Police arrest (alleged) flasher at St. D.
- Stupid crook of the day.
- Questions for the PM
- Happy Thanksgiving.
- Kim Wade gets fired up.
- Smokin' in the boyz room
- Neighbors take Costco fight to court
- Catch & release star at it again
- Dilbert explains Trump
- Accused killer's family speaks out.
- Bert struggles
- It's Ratcliff!
- 30 years for 2 DUI deaths
- Ratcliffe for Circuit Judge
- Vote today!!!
- Waaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!! All Hinds District 4 losers...
- Gulfside Partnership Casino/Island View sues Kingf...
- Animosity raps about his hood
- Terry Mayor pleads guilty to embezzlement
- Karl Banks sues Madison County Election Commission...
- La Brioche now open Mondays in Fondren.
- Rick Cleveland: USM turns it around.
- United Healthcare losing money on Obamacare.
- Police punch man at LSU-Ole Miss game (Updated)
- Dear George: Bye-bye
- One last time
- Blast from the past
- Bringing a knife to a......
- Update on shooting spree
- Her name was Kristy Mitchell.
- Coast blogger beats defamation lawsuit, returns fi...
- Howard has had it.
- WSJ: Health insurance costs going up
- Shooting spree suspect arrested
- Deadline? What deadline? MDA don't need no deadlin...
- DUI killer of Belhaven student gets 25 years.
- The Fall of the Tribe of Hotty Toddy
- Moody's downgrades several issues of Jackson bonds...
- Idiot of the day
- Break time.
- JPD seeks suspect in ATM robbery
- No comment.
- Dems: Speaker shows sexism
- Bert's pipes still warming up
- SANDERS SPEAKS!!!
- Health club update: Fitness Lady closing & JJ revi...
- Ratcliff for Circuit Court Judge
- JRA can't sell hotel bonds
- Latest crime stats
- Bert struggling
- Down goes Rousey!!!
- Former clerk created phony child to receive benefi...
- Police euthanize five dogs in Gay Street attack
- Back on the street
- Moving on up
- Federal lawsuit claims Noxubee County has more vot...
- Update from the State Medical Board
- Sludge permits go into the Pennsylvania sewer.
- Saturday night slapdown
- It's all about them.
- Ridgeland PD arrests prostitutes
- $1,000 reward for lost dog
- (UPDATE: FOUND) New info on missing Rankin teen
- Missing girl alert
- Drama queen of the day
- Courtroom clowns
- Group says it's prepared to invest $100 million in...
- And now a word from our sponsor...
- JPD ID's suspect in double murder
- "Tyin' yo family up"
- Karl Banks loses by two votes.
- Grading the restaurants
- Farish Street Saga: Did Solomon appear?
- Banks claims 29 ballots omitted; challenges certif...
- Was the Viking sale another Mississippi hustle?
- Rick Cleveland: The Monsoon Open
- Bert Case update
- Medicaid expansion snapshot
- Happy Birthday!!!
- We found us some votes!!!!!
- Professor Click on full display
- We own strike!!!
- MBI: Man who died in Jackson jail OD'd.
- Grudge match continues down in Natchez
- Social justice bullies
- Two steps forward, one step back
- Did the Jackson City Council admit that Denali off...
- Riots in Jackson Saturday morning?
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The Kingfish's Favorite Posts
- Presenting the Mississippi State Capitol (Video)
- Editorial: The airport belongs to Jackson. Period.
- Kelly arrested for taking pics of Rose Cochran
- The Real Face of Mississippi Government
- PERS gets mo' money but funding level falls
- Majority black public school districts spend more, waste more, fail more
- Jackson's water bond failure: The REST of the story.
- Time to return fire on Banks
- Supervisor votes on projects next to land he owns
- Throwdown at the Levee Board
- Door shuts on another life
- Truth begins to come out in Irby case
- Judge orders interview of Irby
- Steadivest: Snakes or snake-bitten?
- Post-election thoughts
- Rest of the story about Crisler's shooting
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- Will Jackson end up like Birmingham
- Record-breaking fraud?
- FBI contacted MVT about Evans
- Heather Spencer police reports
- An open letter to John McCain
- Are your 401k's safe from Democrats?
- Democrats' Plans for Controlling the Media
- Who is Teresa Ghilarducci?
- Kingfish wins at Ethics Commission
- Tribe of Obama
- Berry V. Aetna (rankin County Cesspool)
- Incest in Dixie: Mississippi Legal Profession
- Jim Hood: Liar
- JFP Tax Problems? (See comments)
- The SafeCity Bill
- Isn't this called secession?
- A Black Governor in Mississippi?
- Time to grade Miles' exam
- Domestic Violence & Divorce in Mississippi
- Truthwatch, eh?
- What is Jackson Jambalaya?
- Election Night Thoughts
- Counter-Insurgency for Beginners
- Jazz for Beginngers
- Mayor Melton's Soljah
- A Leopard Can't Change His Spots, Can Jere Nash?
- Harborwalk Hoax?
- A Pox on All Your Houses
Local Media & Blogs
- Clarion Ledger (Jackson, MS Gannett Newspaper)
- Mississippi Magazine
- The Rez News
- West Jackson Facebook page
- Y'all Politics
- Downtown Jackson Partners
- Mississippi Litigation Review
- Jackson Free Press (Jackson, MS Alternative Weekly)
- The Magnolia Report
- Majority in Mississippi
- The Northside Sun
- Mississippi Magazine
- The Mississippi Link
- Tom Head's Civil Liberties Website
- Blog on Mississippi Sovereignty Commission
- Harborwalk Thread (Jackson's Latest Boondoggle)
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.