Thursday, April 30, 2015

McDaniel opposes road grants for Jackson.


Sent from my BlackBerry Passport 

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Report: Oxford House operates with little oversight.

 An online news website  reports Oxford House is operating a string of homes for recovering addicts in Mississippi with government funding yet receives little, if any supervision from the Mississippi Department of Mental Health.   Watchdog.org even reports that  Oxford House is attempting to recruit "clients" from jails for their homes that are located in residential neighborhoods.  Steve Wilson writes:

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McCullough to lead MDA

Governor Phil Bryant issued the following press release:

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Police search for suspected baby killer (Updated)

Update: Suspect turned himself in to the police. 

JPD issued the following press release:

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WJNT yesterday

The Kingfish discussed Judges, Sparrows, and the Hinds County criminal justice system yesterday on the show.


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Madison comes out for Will Longwitz

State Senator Will Longwitz had a fund-raiser Monday night that had a looooong list of supporters:

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Wednesday, April 29, 2015

DA to Mayor: It's "only four criminals" (Updated with complete video)

Note: Pour a drink and light a cigar before watching the video.

Clinton Mayor Phil Fisher held a press conference this afternoon to discuss crimes allegedly committed by "career criminals" and their treatment by the Hinds County criminal justice system.  District Attorney Robert Schuler Smith showed up unannounced and was visibly angry at the press conference.  What started as a press conference turned into a showdown at the Clinton Corral.




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Former planetarium director dies

The City of Jackson issued the following press release:

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MPD issues statement on student

‎The Madison Police Department issued the following press release. <!--

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Fund-raiser for Cory Wilson

The Cory Wilson for Representative campaign wants to invite you to this fundraiser:

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A step back in time

Take a ride down a street on a San Francisco trolley in 1906.  It was filmed only a few days before the Great Earthquake.   Producer did a great job on sound design.

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Durr's victim from 2012 speaks out.

Give this lady a great deal of credit.  Jarvis Durr's victim in 2012 spoke to WLBT last night about the inability of the criminal justice system to protect society from thugs like him.  He is accused of armed robbery, forcible rape, and business burglary in that crime.  She didn't hide behind a screen or use any of the identity concealment tricks. She faced the cameras, gave her name, and said what she thought.

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Tuesday, April 28, 2015

M-C student inspired by 2 Samuel 6:20

A male student at Madison Central today was apparently inspired by 2 Samuel when he took a bad trip on what is thought to be some spice.  He got real emotional while reading some poetry, lost control, took off all of his clothes, and ran out of the school stark naked and all the way to a bathroom at Broadmoor Baptist Church before he was apprehended by Madison PD.  It is not known if he is the Kwizatz Haderach.

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Mom of the Year

This mother showed her son who is boss yesterday during the Baltimore riots when she caught him throwing rocks at the police.  Good job, mom.  Too bad we don't have her address so we can send her a couple of belts.  It would be a shame for her to wear out her good ones. 

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Facebook post of the day

Mr. Elow Williams had a few things to say about the state of black-white relations on Facebook recently.  He kept trying to post this in Roadblocks Jackson but it kept getting deleted.  Methinks he deserves a proper audience.

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Monday, April 27, 2015

Meet the newest star of the Hinds County Catch & Release program. (Updated again)

Second update: The trial was continued no less than eight times in three years. The post has been updated to show that information.  

Update: WHAT THE HELL??? THIS is the video from June 2012.




This is a link to a longer WAPT video and story about the standoff. 

Original post:


Jarvis Durr became a Star member of the Hinds County Catch & Release program today.  He was arrested for kidnapping, carjacking, and armed robbery today.  The victim is reportedly uninjured although she is undoubtedly traumatized by what she suffered Saturday.  The details of his crime are provided in a JPD press release that is posted below. However,  Durr was indicted nearly three years ago for rape, armed robbery, and business burglary.   However, his tale is a familiar one to JJ readers: continuances, excuses, and no justice. 

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The Stephenses bring the country to Northeast Jackson.

It appears Neil and Anna Stephens were running an egg-selling operation that was complete with chickens and chicken coops in their back yard at their home on Newland Street in Jackson.  They are currently at the center of a controversy as they leased several Northeast Jackson homes to the Oxford House. The Stephenses kept chickens in their back yard and sold eggs under the label "Urban Eggs". They even advertised the eggs for sale online.   Social South published a story positively gushing about Urban Eggs in February:

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Millsaps professor thinks presidential campaigns aren't too long.

Tired of the presidential silly season that seems to last forever?  A Millsaps professor defended the current system in a letter to the Wall Street Journal that was published last week. Dr. Nathan Shrader wrote:

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Wow.

Video of base camp on Mount Everest hit by avalanche. Pretty intense.  Warning: Lanugage.

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Rez crime stats

Here are the February crime stats for the Rez.

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Sunday, April 26, 2015

What does SB #2161 actually say?

The Common Core debate grew in intensity last week as Governor Bryant vetoed SB #2161.  Lieutenant Governor Tate Reeves criticized the veto.  Senator Chris McDaniel then jumped into the fray with a press release issued by his United Conservatives Fund PAC.

Since the war has escalated into a battle of the talking points and press releases, the Kingfish decided to break down the bill for the readers as he suspects that few people have actually read the bill. Copy of bill. The purpose of this post is to stimulate a discussion on the actual bill itself.  Leave the talking points, name-calling, and bashing the politicians at home.  Discussion about the actual language in the bill would be welcome. 

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Did Judge Priester change the rules of criminal procedure?

Hinds County Court Judge Melvin Priester, Sr. ordered JPD to provide all evidence in criminal cases to the office if the Hinds County Public Defender prior to preliminary hearings for suspects.  Judge Priester issued this order:

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UMMC revokes contract for church service

Todd Starnes, a Fox News commentator, reported on a dispute between a local church and UMMC.  The church apparently made a contract to hold an Easter Sunday service at a conference center.  UMMC the cancelled the contract nine days before the service.  Mr.  Starnes wrote: 

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Saturday, April 25, 2015

Boil water notice

‎2200-2499 block of East Northside Drive. 

Sent from my BlackBerry Passport 

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What does it take to get locked up in Hinds County? (Updated)

Update: Mr. Davis currently faces not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, not seven, not eight but NINE counts of auto burglary from Raymond PD.  His bond is $10,000 each for eight charges but no bond for one charge.    Will Robert Schuler Smith, Tomie Green, and Michelle Purvis finally agree that this guy is actually a habitual criminal?
 
Original post on April 24: When does habitual mean habitual in the Hinds County criminal justice  system?  Meet Woodrez T. Davis.  9-time felon. His first felony conviction took place in 1999.  He was granted parole and released from the custody of MDOC on January 2015.  Despite a record of eight felony convictions, Hinds County prosecutors agreed to drop the "habitual offender" designation in a plea bargain with Davis in March 2014.    He is currently a suspect in several burglaries in the Clinton area.  He is currently in jail for four charges of auto burglary in Hinds County. 

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UCF blasts Reeves over Common Core bill.

The United Conservatives Fund PAC issued the following press release:

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Was Cochran aide a drug-dealing Pagan?

Federal law enforcement agents arrested Fred Pagan today on one charge of possession of methamphetamine with the intent to distribute.  The following statement of facts was submitted to the U.S. District Court in the District of Columbia.

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Friday, April 24, 2015

Sheriff Bailey busts burglary & drug ring

Rankin County Sheriff Bryan Bailey issued the following press release:

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Rudy returns fire at Mayor Mary

Dorsey Carson, attorney for Rudy Warnock, and Mr. Warnock both issued the following statements. Mr. Warnock is the engineer for Madison County.

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Update on Rez user fee

The Pearl River Valley Water Supply District issued this brochure concerning the lake user fee.

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The Queen's speech.

 The Mayor of Madison was on fire last night as she gave her annual state of the city address. She announced the plans for a town square, blasted the Madison County Board of Supervisors, and charged the State Auditor with recommending engineer Rudy Warnock to another county.  Oh, and she announced the creation of a website, cleansweepmadisoncounty.org, to "clean up the county". 
  The video of the entire speech is posted below. Some highlights of the speech are:

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Thursday, April 23, 2015

Tate fires back at Phil

‎Leftenant Governor Tate Reeves issued the following statement:

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Governor Bryant vetos Common Core bill

Governor Phil Bryant issued the following press release:

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"F*** this court"

Brief of the year. Hands down.

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40 years for killing over a computer.

Madison-Rankin Counties' District Attorney Michael Guest issued the following press release:

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Stokes wants to use JPD to protect criminals

Kenneth Stokes went on a little rant about police chases at Tuesday's meeting of the Jackson City Council. Mr. Stokes would like to create a safe haven for criminals in Jackson.  Think of it as Stokes goes Viet Cong.  He wants to give criminals the right to commit crimes  outside of Jackson and then rush back to Jackson and use JPD to protect said criminals.  Kind of like how Charlie would hit our troops and then rush back into North Vietnam where we couldn't touch them.  Watch the video for yourself. 

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New study: No link between MMR vaccines & autism

The Journal of the American Medical Association published a new study based on over 95,000 subjects that concluded there was no link between vaccines and autism.  The Wall Street Journal reported yesterday:

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Come get your money

Here is the list of unclaimed property held by the state of Mississipp.  If you find your name on the list, go to the Treasurer's website.  This post is a public service provided by JJ

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Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Sound of Music returns to the big screen

The Sound of Music returns to the big screen for its 50th anniversary today.  It will play at Tinseltown at 2:00 PM and 7:00 PM.




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SANDERS SPEAKS!!!! 2015 edition.

Enoch Sanders address the peoples at the Jackson City Council meeting yesterday. It was one for the books as he slammed policemans and police chases into Jackson. Enjoy the video.

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McRae: Fitch failures are "unacceptable"




This post is a paid advertisement.

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WJNT today

Gilbert Sturgis appeared on the show.


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The Singing River picture gets worse. SH: CEO left "after shortfall" discovered.

Did the spirit of Bernie Ebbers guide the Singing River Health System?   The 2014 audit charges that accounts receivable were overstated by $88 million while the pension plan fell into worse shape.  The audit was presented to the Jackson County Board of Supervisors.   The hospital system lost $34.7 million in 2014 and $32.3 million in 2013.  The audit reviewed both years and was conducted by Horne CPA group.  Previous audits were conducted by KPMG.  KPMG was selected by then CEO Chris Anderson.  Mr. Anderson is currently the CEO OF MBMC but served as Singing River's CEO until the spring of 2014.  The audit also includes a restatement of the 2013 audit. 

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Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Ridgeland looking for new chief.

‎Ridgeland police chief Randy Tyler submitted his resignation to the Board of Aldermen tonight. His resignation will be effective June 30.

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Hosemann lauds autism-coverage bill.

Secretary of State Delbert Hosemann issued the following press release:

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Comcast hearings to begin next month.

The City of Jackson issued the following press release:

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The Drug Wars' Golden Egg appears at Ole Miss

Buzzfeed published an in-depth article about allegedly heavy-handed tactics Lafayette County law enforcement uses at Ole Miss.  The feds provide drug war money, the Metro Narc Unit decides it needs a piece of that action, and voila, Ole Miss suddenly has a huge drug problem.  Next comes the targeting of college freshman as they are first busted and then flipped into confidential informants.  Buzzfeed reports:

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No bailiffs flunk weapons test. Amazing what accountability & standards will do for performance.

Deputy Jay Leggett shoots test
No Hinds County bailiffs failed the 2015 annual weapons qualifications test.  Three bailiffs failed the test each year in 2014 and 2015.  This is the first year the bailiffs were completely subject to the policies of Sheriff Tyrone Lewis as control of the bailiffs was disputed by Hinds County Circuit Judge Tomie Green. Judge Green allowed bailiffs to carry weapons even if they failed the qualifications test.  One bailiff, now retired, shot only 31 (out of 100) yet carried  a weapon while on duty.  The scores were obtained through a public records request. 

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Monday, April 20, 2015

Working hard.

The Murrah Drum Corps practices the "Risen" cadence in this video.

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McDaniel PAC files ballot initiative for term limits.

The United Conservatives Fund issued the following press release:

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Sunday, April 19, 2015

Latest crime stats

Here are the latest crime stats and maps for the city of Jackson for the week ending April 5, 2015.

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Saturday, April 18, 2015

The adults speak on Iranian nukes

Former Secretaries of State Henry Kissinger and George Schultz stated their misgivings about the pending nuclear agreement with Iran in a Wall Street Journal column published two weeks ago.  Unlike the talking heads on tv, these two know a thing or two about this subject. The column posted below is worthy of your attention and addresses one of the most important issues of our era. 

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Green Room bandits on a crime spree

JPD issued the following press release:

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Friday, April 17, 2015

PRVWSD to implement lake user fees.

The Pearl River Valley Water Supply District issued the following statement:

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Carl Ray strikes it rich.

The Mississippi Department of Environmental Quality approved an application to build a wastewater treatment facility submitted by the West Rankin Utility Authority.  The Clarion-Ledger reported:

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Literacy coaches exceed goal

The Mississippi Department of Education issued the following press release:

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Former employee sues Judge Weill

Karla Watkins Bailey filed a defamation lawsuit against Hinds County Circuit Judge Jeff Weill in Hinds County Court yesterday.   Ms. Bailey was once the court administrator for Judge Weill and also Judge Swan Yerger.  She is represented by Ashley Ogden. 

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Thursday, April 16, 2015

Deputies stop jail goodwill effort.

Hinds County Sheriff Tyrone Lewis issued the following press release:

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Legislature appeals Kidd's decision.

Lieutenant Governor Tate Reeves and Speaker of the House Philip Gunn issued the following press release:

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Star Wars Trailer

The second Star Wars trailer was released today.  No appearances by the Ewoks so far. Enjoy.

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Drug dealer gets 60 years in Rankin

Rankin-Madison District Attorney Michael Guest issued the following press release:

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Supremes order Stallworth's removal from registry

Reverend Jeffrey Stallworth won his fight to be removed from the Mississippi sex offender registry.  The Mississippi Supreme Court reversed a lower court decision denying him the relief.  Reverend Stallworth pleaded guilty to one misdemeanor count of sexual offense in the fourth degree in Maryland in 2002.  He had to register as a sex offender.  A Prince George County Court (Maryland) expunged his conviction in 2010.  However, a Hinds County court refused to remove him from the registry.

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When Oxford House came to Little Rock

The Arkansas Times shined some light on Oxford House after it came to Little Rock.  Is Oxford House a money-making scam that exploits recovering addicts (a la Dr. Drew) or an innovative way to improve one's chances of success when battling addiction?  That question and others will arise one reads the story that is very thorough and informative.  The Times reported in 2013:

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Thrones gone ghetto

SNL meets GOT:

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Governor signs autism bill.

Governor Phil Bryant issued the following statement:

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Jeb Bush to attend signing of special needs tuition bill.

Governor Phil Bryant issued the following press release:

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Hillary: It is good to be The Queen.

There is nothing quite like Clinton virtue.  Rueters reported that Hillary Clinton attacked CEO pay last weekend:

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Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Melanie Sojourner is.....

the Beer Girl.  If she really wants to raise some money, she should also have a beer pong tourney. Might as well go all the way.

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New rules for getting gator-hunting permits.

No more lottery. Get the kegs and tents ready as permits will be awarded on a first come-first served basis.  See for yourself:

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Dems: Reading gate is "poorly-planned"

The Mississippi Democratic Trust issued this press release written by Representative Bobbie Moak (D-Two Sisters):

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WJNT today

No special guests or topics. 


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Funny


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JPD searching for thugs who followed elderly man home and killed him.

JPD issued the following press release. Scroll down for pictures.

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Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Cops kidnap children for walking home from park.

The pu**ification of America continues.

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C-130's stay at Keesler

Governor Phil Bryant issued the following press release:

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Should Governor sign SB #2161?

This video urging Governor Phil Bryant to sign SB #2161 has been having problems staying up on Facebook. It seems whenever it is posted, Facebook quickly removes the video. Apparently some people who don't like the bill quickly report the video to Facebook as a copyright violation and then it is soon deleted. There is no copyright but that doesn't seem to mean a thing to a certain group in Mississippi who brooks no debate or opposition. Here it is and if anyone wants to submit something from the opposing view that he or she actually authored, it will be posted in the interest of equal time.

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All good things do come to an end.

It looks like another local eating tradition has gone by the way side:

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Monday, April 13, 2015

The estate in the Iron Mask. Fairly sealed Bradshaw case.

Now-deceased Rankin County Chancellor Dan Fairly sealed the estate of Thomas Bradshaw, Jr.  Mississippi State University disputed the actions of conservator Murphy Adkins in the estate opened in 2013.  The will was changed to award $1.6 million to Mr. Adkins.  JJ would like to tell you when the estate was sealed.  JJ would like to tell you the reasons cited by Judge Fairly for the sealing of the case.  Hell, JJ would love to show you a copy of the protective order.  However, there is literally no information available at the clerk's office other than the fact the file is sealed.  JJ reported the details of the case on October 1, 2013:

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Madison PD arrests kidnappers

The Madison Police Department issued the following press release:

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Body cameras cost more than just sticker price.

Body cameras are the new law enforcement tool that is on everyone's lips after South Carolina and Ferguson.  The politicians are naturally rushing forward to give grants and get grants while the media asks how come all police don't already have this 21st century tool.  However, the Wall Street Journal explored one often-ignored feature of body cameras- storage costs. The media rarely, if ever, mentions the storage costs as it usually just focuses on the sticker price.  A police department that has several hundred body cameras is also going to have a great deal of data to store - and that costs money.  The Journal reported:

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Sunday, April 12, 2015

Oxford House: Helping those in need or helping its own pocketbook?

To say Oxford House has generated a huge ruckus in Jackson with its plans to open numerous unsupervised "sober living" homes is a small understatement.  New Jersey was the birthplace of the Oxford House experiment and has had its own share of problems with these unlicensed and unregulated homes for recovering addicts.  Northjersey.com published a rather thorough and eye-opening article about the world of Oxford House "homes":

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Saturday, April 11, 2015

Orwell would be proud.

This short epistle about free speech by a Mr. Joseph Dizoglio apparently passes for critical thinking at Brown University. It appeared as a letter to the editor in the Brown newspaper.

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Greenwood cops caught on camera?

John Pittman Hey sent this little message and video about some cops in Greenwood that are in apparent conflict with statements made by the Greenwood police chief.

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Friday, April 10, 2015

Phony cops on the loose (Updated with photo of suspect)

The city of Jackson issued this statement:

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Capitol Street to go two-way

The city of Jackson issued the following press release:

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Governor signs gun bills

Governor Phil Bryant issued the following press release:

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Some tongue-twistin' going on up north.

The race for the Congressional election in the first district is well underway.  The race is not in the JJ neck of the woods but I found this one commercial to be pretty funny as far as such things go.

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Two women sentenced for participation in Anderson murder

The U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of Mississippi issued the following press release:

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Thursday, April 9, 2015

Are the new Dark Ages coming?

Does the new math mean no math?  A professor of psychiatry opined on Bloomberg that boys and girls should not learn math past the basic levels of addition and subtraction.  Wisdom is ignorance. Foolishness is brilliance.  Dr. Susan Engel wrote:

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Ethan Thomas is back in jail.... in Madison County

Our favorite psycho is back in jail but this time he is enjoying the hospitality of Madison County Sheriff Randy Tucker.  Raymond Ethan Thomas was charged with witness intimidation and trespassing on private property to steal two dogs from Lindsay Thomas.  He was denied bond for the witness intimidation charge.  Witnesses told JJ that Ms. Thomas was visibly terrified when she appeared in court earlier this week.  A restraining order was imposed on Mr. Thomas as well.

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Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Busted......again.

Some people don't know when to be quiet. You may remember this guy screaming police harassment of his Jubilee convenience store on Northside Drive:

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NE Jackson family was terrorized by halfway house resident.

One Northeast Jackson resident posted this bad experience she had with a halfway house several years ago on a social media website.  JJ confirmed the incident took place with JPD and the victim. This message is re-posted with her permission although her name has been removed.

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JPD arrests April's Fools fools.

JPD issued the following press release:

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WJNT last week.

Here is the show from last week. Pete Perry appeared for the first half hour to discuss the report on the Siemen's contract.


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Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Rand Paul jumps in the deep end

Rand Paul announced today that he is running for President.  Mississippi Democrats responded with the following press release.

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JPD: Crime is down.

JPD issued the following press release:

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More boil water notices are lifted.

The city of Jackson stated the following streets are no longer under a boil water notice:

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Neighorhood group meets with MDMH over group homes

Senator Will Longwitz (R-Xanadu) posted the following  statement on Facebook yesterday:

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Monday, April 6, 2015

One more Raider leaves us

Another member of Doolittle's Raiders left us for the great big hanger up in the sky last week.  Only two Raiders are left.  The 19th Airlift Wing Public Affairs unit issued the following statement:

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Stupid crook of the day

JPD issued the following press release:

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Sam Hall: IHL Board "cowered behind closed doors" in firing Jones.

Clarion-Ledger Executive Editor Sam Hall revealed a few more details about the firing of the Iron Chancellor in a column published in yesterday's edition.  Words such as micromanagement and yelled were used.  Interesting stuff.  Mr. Hall wrote:

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Sunday, April 5, 2015

Boil water notices lifted

The city of Jackson removed boil water notices for the following areas:

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Happy Easter

Sunrise over the Rez this morning

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Friday, April 3, 2015

Rankin judge dies.

JJ confirmed Rankin County Chancellor Dan Fairly committed suicide this afternoon on the Natchez Trace near Highway 43.  He had been off the bench for several months this year due to a medical leave. More details will be posted when available.

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The Stephens respond

Joseph Neal and Anna Fiser Stephens issued this statement today on the Oxford House controversy in Jackson:

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College Board issues statement on Dan Jones contract

The IHL Board of Trustees released this letter regarding the non-renewal of the contract of Ole Miss Chancellor Dr. Dan Jones.

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Two escapees are back in jail

Two escapees from the downtown jail are back in custody this morning.  Cornelius Carter and Arick Toins were captured at 287 Tara Road.  Police are still looking for the other two escapees. 

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Thursday, April 2, 2015

Belhaven boil water notice

The city of Jackson issued the following boil water notice for part of Belhaven:

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Supremes order Judge Weill & Kelly to file responses

The Mississippi Supreme Court issued this short ruling in the dispute between Hinds County Circuit Judge Jeff Weill and Hinds County Public Defender's Office:

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Oxford House & local couple are moving recovering addicts into NE Jackson homes.

A controversy has erupted in Northeast Jackson as a couple has purchased several homes and then allowed the Oxford House to use them as halfway houses for recovering drug and alcohol addicts.  However, none of these "Oxford homes" went through the zoning process in Jackson nor did they receive approval from the city to operate these "homes" in areas zoned for single-family residence.  Each "home" apparently contains seven recovering addicts. 

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Dog-stealing in Rankin County

Beeeeeeeeeeeert Case asked if there was a reason for an increase in missing dogs in Rankin County.

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Boil water notice.

Update: Boil water notice lifted for Duling and Lake Dockery Drive. 

The city of Jackson issued the following press release:

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Gov appoints three to Casino

Governor Phil Bryant issued the following press release:

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Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Bad Samarions plead guilty

U.S. Attorney Greg Davis issued the following press release:

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Showing the love

This little pic was taken yesterday at the corner of Farish and Amite Streets.

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Extremist, liar, or just plain crazy?

What is it they say about victory having a thousand fathers? Our little friend Noel Fritsch apparently thinks Representative Andy Gipson is "anti-gun". He even said so in this email that was sent out to his supporters yesterday. Andy Gipson. Anti-gun. Think about that one for a second.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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