Friday, October 31, 2014

Happy Halloween

Halloween is never complete without this guy.

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Stay out of Eubanks Creek

The Mississippi Department of Environmental Quality issued the following press release:

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Are taxes too high? What would you cut?

Here is the second question asked by former WLBT News Director Dennis Smith in the Ward 1 forum Tuesday night.  Mr. Smith asked "Do you feel property and personal taxes are too high for residents of Ward 1 and if so, what areas of the budget would you cut in an effort to reduce the taxes?"

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Get caught with stolen guns, get a no-bill to pass Go and stay out of jail.

There was no small amount of controversy after JJ published a list of individuals that the Hinds County grand jury did not indict during its September session.  One particular case was that of Chirag Kharbanda (Not to be pronounced Kowabunga), the owner of the Jubilee gas station at 905 Northside Drive in Jackson.  He was charged with:

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Tip411 is now live in Jackson

You can now use the text function on your cellphone to report crime.  Tip411 is now active in Jackson.  Simply text your tip about suspicious activity to 847411 and begin message with
"JPD".  This tool allows police officers to respond to the person providing the tip without learning his identity.  More information is posted below and on the city website at jacksonms.gov.

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Thursday, October 30, 2014

Ali Shamsid-Deen: Let the white folks leave Jackon

A Circuit Judge doesn't just handle criminal cases, he must also adjudicate those of an economic nature.  Hinds County Circuit Judge candidate Ali Shamsid-Deen penned quite a few racially inflammatory columns in the  Jackson Advocate back in the 1990's.  Here are some choice quotes from a column he wrote on August 6, 1992 that delve more into the economic realm. Enjoy.

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Ward 1 forum: First Question

 Note:  Video is fixed.

The Lefleur East Foundation held a forum for the candidates for Ward 1 City Council Tuesday night.  JJ recorded the entire session and is posting video segments of the forum.  Here is the first question: "What do you think is the most pressing need facing Jackson and Ward 1?"

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State sues architects over public health lab "flaws"

The Department of Finance & Administration issued the following press release:

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Thad Cochran: Future



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Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Strain is in.

Warren Strain will be the new Alderman-at-large for the city of Madison.  Mr. Strain is the only candidate who qualified before the 5:00 PM deadline today.  He will assume the seat vacated by John Howland on the Madison Board of Aldermen.  Mr. Strain is the spokesman for the Mississippi Department of Public Safety.

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Raymond man gets five years for child porn

Attorney General Jim Hood issued the following press release:

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AP: Another half a billion smackers for Kemper

The Associated Press reported Kemper costs are going up again:

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WJNT today

Hinds County Circuit Judge Jeff Weill appeared on the show.


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Meet the candidates

The candidates to replace Ward 1 Councilman Quentin Whitwell appeared at a forum held by the Lefleur East Foundation. Former WLBT News Director Dennis Smith came out of retirement for one night to moderate the event. The video of the debate will be posted in segments for each question. That style of posting was popular last year for the Madison Mayoral debate as most of you preferred it to one long video.   Here are the opening statements.

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Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Petition for probable cause filed against police officers in Mayfield case denied.

Update: Judge Emfinger denied the petition.

JJ obtained through a public records request a copy of the charges Mrs. Robin Mayfield filed against three Madison police officers on October 17, 2014.  The state entered a petition for a probably cause hearing against Madison police officers Dean Scott, Chuck Harrison, and Vickie Currie.  Mrs. Mayfield alleged they committed the offense of "unlawful entry without permission" onto her property.  Mrs. Mayfield is the wife of Mark Mayfield.  Mr. Mayfield committed suicide shortly after he was arrested by Madison police for allegedly helping Clayton Kelly take pictures of Rose Cochran in her room at St. Catherine's Village.

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Mrs. Waller dies

The Office of the Courts sent out this press release:

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PERS funding level improves

PERS Board meeting set to begin. PERS will announce the funding level at this meeting. Portfolio grew to $25 billion off an 18% return on investment. Good numbers. The variable is the growth in retirees. ‎ I estimate it to be around 4,000. That is the highest growth in several years if true. However, the funding level should increase one to two points. Stay tuned. Update:

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Gibbert on voting

Mississippi Secretary of State Dilbert Hosemann issued the following press release:

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Meet the Ward 1 candidates Tonight

The City Council set December 2, 2014 as the date for the special election.


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Watch the game from a different view

ESPN provided a new way to look at the LSU-Ole Miss game from Saturday night. All the post-game ribbing aside, this is a pretty cool way to watch the game. No commentary, no commercials, just a totally different way to watch it. Skycam video of the game.

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Monday, October 27, 2014

One NE Jackson hood is off the street. (Updated)

One NE Jackson thug is off the street. Police arrested Brodrick Robinson last week for possession of a stolen firearm.  He is currently in police custody.  Mr. Broderick has been a busy little boy over the last few years as he has been repeatedly arrested for various crimes.  JJ obtained his criminal history through a public records request.  It is posted below.  JJ first reported on Mr. Robinson in the recent post Hoods of Northeast Jackson.

Here are some of the cases against Mr. Robinson: 

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Killer gets life in Rankin

Rankin-Madison District Attorney Michael Guest issued the following press release:

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Coffee with Ashby Foote


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To police or not to police......

Indian convenience store owners are complaining about a lack of police presence at their stores.  The Clarion-Ledger reported last week:

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Sunday, October 26, 2014

Someone doesn't like losing

This Rebelette throws a tantrum from hell last night:

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BEAST!!!

Josh Robinson went into beast mode yesterday:

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Changes coming to WLBT

JJ has confirmed that WLBT news director Wilson Stribling will return to the morning show tomorrow.  He hosted the show as co-anchor before assuming the job of assistant news director.  He replaced long-time news director Dennis Smith upon Mr. Smith's retirement last year.  He will replace Brandon Artiles.  Mr. Artiles left WLBT Friday to join WLBT alumni Katina Rankin and Paul Williams at the Fox affiliate in Memphis. A reader sent this email about changes at WLBT:

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Saturday, October 25, 2014

No comment.


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Billy remembers the game

Here is nice interview with Billy Cannon that was broadcast this week. Something for the readers who like stories told by the old-timers.

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Friday, October 24, 2014

McDaniel responds to ruling

The Chris McDaniel campaign issued the following press release:

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Supreme Court to Chris McDaniel: You lose

The Mississippi Supreme Court denied Chris McDaniel's appeal and ruled that he filed his challenge to the Republican primary after the twenty day deadline. Justices Coleman and Lamar dissented.

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Tonight at New Stage: All the Way

New Stage Theatre presents the regional premiere of ALL THE WAY by Robert Schenkkan. Awarded the 2014 Tony Award for Best Play, New Stage is proud to be one of the first regional theatres, fresh off its Broadway run, to present this thrilling political drama, about Lyndon Baines Johnson’s first year in office. ALL THE WAY will run October 21-November 2, 2014. In addition, New Stage has partnered with the MS Humanities Council to present a series of panel discussions under the title “America at the Turning Point: Conversations on All The Way”. Information on those panel discussions is included in the press release.

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State Auditor: MAEP formula flawed

State Auditor Stacey Pickering issued the following press release:

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Ali "Paula Deen" Shamsid Deen: Clarion-Ledger uses "trusted Negro intellectuals"

Nothing like a blast from the past when running for office.  If we can kick Paula Deen off the air for something she said twenty years ago with a gun in her face or run some politician out of town for old writings (I don't have a specific example in mind, it just sounded good when I wrote it), then we an enlighten you on what a certain candidate for Hinds County Circuit Judge wrote on the pages of the Jackson Advocate back in the 90's.  This was a good one. 

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The good ole boys strike back.

Nothing like a little competition to scare the hell out of the good ole boy network as Uber dared to grace the city of Oxford with its presence. One would think a progressive city such as Oxford would welcome a company that brings competition to taxis. Such is not the case in the land that time forgot. What is Oxford's response to Uber? Throw 'em in jail. That will show 'em. We don't need no new-fangled ideas he-unh in Misissippi. Everything works just fine.  The Northeast Mississippi Daily Journal reported:

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The Fall of the Tribe of Hotty Toddy

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Thursday, October 23, 2014

FBI warns journalists about ISIS...in America

The FBI sent this alert out to news organizations and journalists this afternoon:

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Driver arrested

The Madison Police Department issued the following press release:

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No comment

Rebekah Staples took a look at the Mississippi blogosphere and etched her observations onto her blog.  It contained some interesting statements.



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Here comes the Guv

The money comes out for the Guv tonight:

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Fannin Mart owner indicted for tax evasion

A Rankin County grand jury indicted Steve Page for sixteen counts of tax evasion on October 6, 2014. Mr. Page operates Fannin Mart Restaurant on Lakeland Drive.  The indictment claims Mr. Page claimed only $61,830 in revenue while actually earning $285,631.  It also alleges he only paid $5,543 in sales taxes to the state of Mississippi and Flowood when the tax bill should have been $25,702- a difference of $20,155.   The indictment states Mr. Page "did business as Fannin Mart of Flowood, LLC".

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Wednesday, October 22, 2014

WJNT this morning

Hinds County Court Judge Bill Skinner appeared on the show.


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Madison PD looking for hit & run driver

The Madison Police Department issued the following press release:

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No-biller arrested again for murder.

Looks like one of our No-billers is back in custody for murder- again.  WLBT reported:

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Ali "Paula Deen" Shamsid Deen goes into Uncle Tom mode.

Here is another installment of the Ali Shamsid Deen Chronicles-  -The Uncle Tom edition. Hinds County Circuit Judge candidate Mr. Ali Shamsid-Deen wrote in the Jackson Advocate on August 15, 1991 a column in which he had a few things to say about Black conservatives.  Kim Wade, brace yourself: 

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Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Bomb threat suspect taken into custody

The Madison Police Department issued the following press release:

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Vote Amile Wilson



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Whining over the wine

It seems the Germanys are at it again in court.  Attorney Bob Germany sued attorney Barry Gilmer and several other parties over the sale of his wine collection.  Mr. Gilmer represents his ex-wife Ginger.   Mr. Germany accused  Ginger and the defendants of selling his wine collection for $203,500 without his consent as well as keeping the proceeds of the sale.  Mr. Germany claims the collection was worth more than $400,000.

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Bo knows hair

These pics are making the rounds on the message boards. Meet Bo Wallace's hairstylist:

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Rockin' the Rock.

Some people apparently had too much fun in Little Rock last weekend.

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Monday, October 20, 2014

Mayfield's wife files tresspassing charges against Madison PD (Updated with statement from Mayor.)


Ridgeland Police confirmed to JJ that Robin Mayfield filed trespassing charges against three Madison police officers last Friday.  She is the wife of Mark Mayfield.  Mr. Mayfield committed suicide in June after he was arrested by Madison police.  MPD accused him of conspiring with others to help Clayton Kelly gain access to Rose Cochran's room at St. Catharine's Village so Mr. Kelly could take photos of Ms. Cochran.  The pictures were to be used in videos that would attack her husband, Senator Thad Cochran.  Madison Mayor Mary Hawkins Butler issued the following statement:

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The Fall of the Tribe of Hotty Toddy

And there arose to the north of Eden a tribe called the Hotty-Toddys, who were also called metros. And the Hotty-Toddys were very displeasing; they didst place centerpieces on their banquet tables, and didst exalt themselves much. And they didst glorify the southern kingdom of the past.

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Madison County School District: J.B. posted nude pics of three students online

Original post with copy of complaint.

The Madison County School District provided a few more details in its response to a lawsuit filed by the family of an expelled student.  The district transferred "J.B." from Germantown High School to the alternative school in Canton after he posted a nude picture of a 14-year old student on Instagram.

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Sunday, October 19, 2014

We report, you decide: Ebola edition

Who is missing from this list?

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Saturday, October 18, 2014

Shell-shocked

Texas A&M coach Kevin Sumlin after the um, game:

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Noonan: Can anyone handle the truth?

Peggy Noonan has a gift of seeing the big picture and illustrating it in a way as few others can.  Which is the bigger threat, Ebola or the attitude of our public servants towards the rest of us?  She makes some interesting points in this October 3 column:

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Friday, October 17, 2014

Bomb threat earlier today at Madison Central

Madison police issued the following press release.  The school is CLEAR.

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Update on our rescue

Here is a video of the boxer I rescued a few weeks ago.  As you can see, he has figured things out and is living the good life.  He had hookworms, heartworms, and more than a few infected flea bites when I got him in West Jackson.  He's moved from giving up on life to assuming the role of a spoiled brat.  See for yourself.

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Court awards $6.492 million against Bruister

Attorney Nick Norris issued the following press release:

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Raymond Echols graduated at Chastain yesterday

Some REALLY bad dudes went on a crime spree yesterday that began at Fortification Street and ended at Chastain Middle School although one scumbag is still at large.  WLBT reported:

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Thursday, October 16, 2014

The business owner v. the politician... on business.

 The Meridian Star reported Peavey Electronics is closing one plant in Mississippi.  Mr. Peavey told the newspaper it was much harder for him to compete and that the state is not "business friendly" while the Governor could not believe the business owner could think such a thing.  Terri Ferguson Smith reported:

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Career burglar gets 50 years

Rankin-Madison District Attorney issued the following press release:

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Wednesday, October 15, 2014

WJNT today

Former WLBT news director Dennis Smith appeared on the show to discuss all kinds of groovy topics such as father rape, litterin', and the draft.


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D.A. files contempt motion against Sheriff's employees. Omerta?

Hinds County District Attorney Robert Schuler Smith filed a motion for contempt of court against Hinds County Chief Deputy Chris Picou and HCSO Spokesman Othor Cain Monday. WLBT and other media outlets published a list of cases that were recently "no billed" by the Hinds County grand jury. The D.A. said the employees were "published prohibited grand jury material to the media via WLBT, WJTV, 901. FM, and Othor Cain's blog".

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Grand jury refuses to indict.

Here are the "no bill" lists returned by the Hinds County grand jury this year.  A prosecutor presents a case to the grand jury.  The grand jury will return either a true bill (indictment) or no bill (no indictment) for the suspect.  The first two pages are from the most recent meeting of the grand jury and have generated no small amount of controversy downtown because the media has usually failed to examine such lists.  Some observations:

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Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Happy Anniversary

Olga and Yuri enjoy their 25th wedding anniversary today.  Here is a remembrance of their wedding day:

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Meet the hoods of NE Jackson

Someone is doing the Lord's work.  WLBT reported a man on a bicycle was shot last night:

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Stormfronts in the Delta

A Gretchen Moss of Greenville shot these pictures after the storm passed through the Delta yesterday. Enjoy.

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Need to renew your license today? Bad news.

The Mississippi Highway Patrol issued the following press release:

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Monday, October 13, 2014

Perv gets 12 years

Attorney General Jim Hood issued the following press release:

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Commercial: Working



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Sanders SPEAKS!!!

This episode seemed appropriate on Columbus Day.

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Former Madison Deputy indicted

State Auditor Stacey Pickering issued the following press release:

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Council rejects Mayor's lobbyists

The Legislative Committee of the Jackson City Council rejected the hiring of two Jackson lobbying firms last week.  Ward 6 Councilman Tyrone Hendrix made motions to hire Hayes Dent Public Strategies and Cornerstone Government Affairs Group.  Each motion died for lack of a second.  City Council members Melvin Priester, Jr. and Charles Tillman were present while Margaret Barrett-Simon was absent.

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Sunday, October 12, 2014

Eeeewwwwwwww!!!!!

Between the McDonald's and Walmart on Old Hammond Highway and Airline Highway in Baton Rouge.  Clue: Need to have one of Jerry Clower's old rat killin's.

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Dawgs #1, Rebs right behind

The AP College Football rankings are out:

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Harkins fund-raising

It looks like State Senator Josh Harkins (R-Gold Coast) is passing the hat this week:

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Saturday, October 11, 2014

Author: Playing music improves learning

Does music raise IQ? A Wall Street Journal essay argues that listening to music has little effect on a child's performance in school but playing a musical instrument does improve performance. Joanne Lipman writes:

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Friday, October 10, 2014

WJNT this week

Jackson City Council President DeKeither Stamps appeared on the show.


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Tomorrow


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Thursday, October 9, 2014

Guest sends another perv up the river

Rankin-Madison District Attorney Michael Guest issued the following press release:

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Ashby Foote jumps into Ward 1 race.

Northeast Jackson resident Ashby Foote issued the following press release:

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SI finds Mississippi State. Will the curse do so as well?

Sports Illustrated published a nice little story about the Mississippi State University football program and its recent success on the gridiron:

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Sojourner still has not filed report.

State Senator Melanie Sojourner still has not filed her campaign finance report. Secretary of State Delbert Hosemann levied a $500 fine against Ms. Sojourner for failing to file the report earlier this year.  The State Senator requested a waiver of the fine as she claimed tornado damage to her home that took place last fall prevented her from filling out the report.  However, the Secretary of State's office informed this correspondent that the fine can not be waived until the report is submitted. Ms. Sojourner is the only member of the legislature not to file the required annual campaign finance report this year.

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No Comment

Check out the voice mail greeting on the Hinds County Coroner's phone:

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Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Sheriff Bailey gets his man

Rankin County Sheriff Bryan Bailey issued the following press release concerning the animal cruelty case reported this week:

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Judge: Dr. Smith unfit to stand trial

Note: Who can forget this blast from the past?

It looks like Dr. Smith will escape prosecution via the insanity route.  The Greenwood Commonwealth reported:

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Jackson Zoo announces MSU partnership. Financial condition improves.

The City of Jackson issued the following press release:

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Madison resident arrested for threatening Rudy

Rudy Warnock filed simple assault charges against Chuck Shelby last week. Mr. Warnock claimed that Mr. Shelby threatened to "get him" and "destroy his family". Mr. Shelby became upset at an earlier meeting of the Madison County Board of Supervisors after he learned the board was going to appoint a replacement for outgoing supervisor Ronnie Lott.

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NY Times columnist: Give civil rights protections to pedophiles

Margot Kaplan, an Associate Professor at Rutgers School of Law, thinks that the Americans with Disabilities Act should be broadened to include pedophiles.  She even wrote a column stating her ideas that appeared on the pages of the New York Times

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Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Quentin quits

Jackson Ward 1 Councilman Quinten Whitwell submitted his letter of resignation today to the Jackson City Council.  Mr. Whitwell had said that he would not resign until October 31.  Meanwhile, Charles Barbour announced his candidacy for the position.   The Street Committee also says Northsider Ashby Foote will jump in the race in the next few days as well.

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PEER report questions Port of Gulfport job claims

PEER stated in a letter to Representative Cecil Brown (D-Geritol) that the Port of Gulfport Restoration Program has created only a few jobs after  HUD granted permission to the Mississippi Development Authority to redirect $600 million of Hurricane Katrina-related housing relief funds towards the restoration and repair of the Port of Gulfport.  MDA claimed the transfer would create 2,586 jobs "created or retained".  The port had 2,058 jobs prior to Hurricane Katrina.  However, there is PEER states that such is not the case:

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And they want your money

$$$$.  Yes, there is something online called "Missy from Mississippi".  Free turkey leg if you can actually watch this video all the way through without um, stopping.

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Naomi has the cra-cra

Feminist thinker Naomi Wolf goes off the deep end:

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Monday, October 6, 2014

Owner surrenders dog after beating video goes viral

Update: Sheriff Bailey said the dog was turned over to his department. Dog will be evaluated by a vet.

This video of a man spanking, beating, striking, hitting -whatever you want to call it- his dog made the social media rounds tonight:

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Warren Strain running for alderman.

Madison resident Warren Strain announced his candidacy for the position of Madison Alderman at large.  The seat became vacant after the Madison County Board of Supervisors appointed Madison Alderman at large John Howland to the replace Ronnie Lott.  Ronnie Lott vacated his seat after assuming the office of Chancery Clerk.  Mr. Strain created a Facebook page for his campaign.  Mr. Strain is the communications director for the Mississippi Department of Public Safety.

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Sanders SPEAKS!!!

Another installment of Sanders Speaks for you Caucasians.

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Senator Cochran: Fighting Obama & amnesty

Barack Obama says his policies are on the ballot November 4!
On Thursday, President Obama had a moment of honesty: he said, “I am not on the ballot this year, but every single one of my policies are on the ballot.” It's true: this election is about who supports the President’s policies over the last six years, and who believes we need to change those liberal policies if we are going to get America back on the right track. 

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Watchdog looks at the Dome

Watchdog Mississippi takes a look at JSU's proposed Taj Mahal, otherwise known as the $200 million domed stadium. The story reveals a few uncomfortable facts about the actual reality surrounding the proposal:

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Sunday, October 5, 2014

WSJ: The might of Mississippi football

The Wall Street Journal published a story Friday lauding the "Might of Mississippi Football":

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STUPID!!!

Bama fan gets stupid yesterday at the game:

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Saturday, October 4, 2014

Congrats to Rebels

They took Bama's best shot today and won.  Rebs have a chance at a championship season.  One game at a time.  Saban has a 24-hour rule for a reason.  Just remember 1997 LSU-Florida.  Ole Miss won a game yesterday.  A game.  It can beat the rest of the teams on its schedule if the team stays focused and that includes the fans.  And yes, LSU got its ass kicked last night.  Too bad it won't mean the end of Miles.  Meanwhile,  Katy Perry celebrates below (sound turned off):

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Friday, October 3, 2014

The Haunted Fields of Mississippi


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The question everyone wants answered....

Will Mr. Palmer lead PIMCO?

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Jackson addresses animal control problem

Mayor Tony Yarber issued the following press release:

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Grand jury slams Sheriff

The Grand Jury issued a report on the Hinds County Jail yesterday. There is no way to sugarcoat it: the grand jury said Hinds County Sheriff Tyrone Lewis was "incompetent" in running the jail.  The brief report is posted below.  However, there is one very curious statement made by the grand jury.

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Governor fund-raising for Michael Watson

Looks like the McPurge does not apply to the Governor as he will attend a fund-raiser for State Senator Michael Watson.  A Bart Edminston sent out an invite via email and text message to various Gulf Coast Republicans this week. The message states:

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Thursday, October 2, 2014

Jury awards $600,000 on JRA retaliation

Local attorney Nick Norris issued this press release:

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Habitual criminal & locker room thief gets 45 years.

Rankin-Madison District Attorney Michael Guest issued the following press release:

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Constitutional Clayton is indicted. (Updated)

Update: Indictment added below. This post was first published 6:08 PM yesterday. 

A Madison County Grand Jury indicted "Constitutional Clayton" Kelly on one count of burglary, one count of attempted burglary, and one count of conspiracy to commit burglary.

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Meet Ali "Paula Deen" Shamsid-Deen

or..... Hinds County Circuit Judge candidate Ali Shamsid-Deen proves he can successfully use "n****r" in a sentence.  Here is what JJ published four years ago about the would be jurist:

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Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Never gets old.

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Get that DUI expunged



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Belhaven is literally a great neighborhood.

The American Planning Association awarded the Greater Belhaven neighborhood a place  on its 2014
list of "Great Places in America".  The APA's website describes the area and history:

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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