Monday, June 30, 2014

State Auditor issues $16,000 demand against school nurse

State Auditor Stacey Pickering issued the following press release:

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GOP chair provides certification & challenge procedures.

Mississippi Republican Party Chairman Joe Nosef issued this memo to county party chairmen.  A reader was kind enough to send it to me so you can see the rules for yourself.

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We report, you decide: Chuckie edition.

Update: Mr Johnson issued a correction and apology.  

Looks like our friendly online journalist did it again.  This time he accused Gilbert of partying it up at the casino Saturday night while the state election process burned down.

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Looks like they are having an educational summit and forgot to tell anyone.

Looks like Charles Busby is having an Education Summit at the capitol today and didn't bother to notify anyone.  The agenda was posted below.  The committee meeting was not posted on the House website.  Nice to see our leaders deciding the future of education in secret. Mr. Busby owes us an apology.

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Yarber to discuss proposed entertainment district tonight.

Jackson Mayor Tony Yarber issued the following press release:

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Daily Caller: McDaniel camp claims they found "up to 1,500 invalid votes"

The Daily Caller reports:

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Tea Party asks for volunteers to "overturn Mississippi vote"


Teaparty.org asked for volunteers to help "overturn Mississippi vote.

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Sunday, June 29, 2014

Blogger offers reward for nursing home photos, reports McDaniel to file challenge.

"Online journalist" Charles C. Johnson offered a $2,000 reward for the Rose Cochran photos at issue in the nursing home scandal on Twitter today.  The screenshots are posted below.  He also reported Chris McDaniel will file a legal challenge to the election results tomorrow.  His tweets can be found at @ChuckCJohnson.

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Just when you thought.........

Well, this story just will not quit. The Clarion-Ledger just reported that Pete Perry, yes, that Pete Perry, was arrested for a DUI last night:

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The brickyard is back.

Jackson Mayor Tony Yarber issued the following press release:

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Post-election wrap up

This post was supposed to go up Friday but well, fate intervened as everyone knows.  Here is a round-up of stories from the national media about the election results. The Wall Street Journal delved into the Cochran's success in the black community in several stories. It published this chart:

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JFP doesn't like new policy

Looks like Madame DeLadd does not like the Yarber administration's treatment of her and her alternative news weekly publication.  The Jackson Free Press sharply criticized the Yarber administration over its new interview policy for the JFP:

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Saturday, June 28, 2014

"A friend has died. That is too high a price to have paid for this election."

The death of Mark Mayfield moved Amile Wilson to pen this little epistle about the past week in Mississippi politics.

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Chris Mcdaniel needs your help (Updated)

The Chris McDaniel campaign issued this call to arms last night:

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Friday, June 27, 2014

The conspiracies make it to Drudge.

Gateway Pundit gets some basic facts wrong in this post about the circuit clerks denying voter roll access to McDaniel supporters that made it to the Drudge Report.

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Conspiracy or histrionics? We report, you decide.

Updated: Blogger Gateway Pundit now does the same thing. Just one problem. It was linked on Drudge. See more recent post for update.

Nice to see out of state bloggers not exactly telling the truth. A Charles Johnson tweeted that Secretary of State Delbert Hosemann sent out an email ordering circuit clerks to bar Chris McDaniel supporters from reviewing the poll books. Here is the tweet:

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Breaking: Mark Mayfield is dead.

Update: A suicide note was found. 

Ridgeland police confirmed that attorney Mark Mayfield died of a gunshot wound to the head this morning at his home.  Ridgeland police are at the scene.  The cause of death is under investigation although police sources said it is probably a suicide.   His family suffered no physical harm. Please keep them in your prayers.

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Thursday, June 26, 2014

McDaniel to Nosef: Tell clerks to hand over poll books.

The Chris McDaniel campaign just issued the following press release:

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Bribes draw jail time for reading consultant

State Auditor Stacey Pickering issued the following press release:

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The Senate race and the black vote

The latest controversy about the Senate race, and there will undoubtedly be more, is large turnout of black voters for (presumably) Thad Cochran last Tuesday. Many accused the Barbours and others of using dirty politics to get blacks who never vote Republican to vote in the Republican runoff. However, one black politician I respect sent me this email yesterday that stated a different view:

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Walmart fact-checks the New York Times

Nice to see someone in corporate America with some backbone.  A New York Times columnist took some shots at Walmart.  Walmart responded in kind instead of issuing the typical mealy-mouth statement.  Clue: Much red ink was used in the response. Enjoy.

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Wednesday, June 25, 2014

McDaniel makes post-runoff statement

Chris McDaniel issued the following press release:

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WJNT this morning

Clarion-Ledger's Sam Hall and Cochran Campaign Manager Austin Barbour appeared on the show to discuss the results.


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Senate race wrap up

Here is a wrap-up of coverage of the Senate race results.

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Oh no. Rest in peace, Tuco.

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Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Election night thread. Update: AP calls race for Cochran

Here we are again. Three weeks later. Another election night.  JJ will update this post as quickly as possible.  Just poured the Rittenhouse Rye. Time to have some fun.

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Update on KFC

Victoria's Victories Facebook page is down. 

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More Senate race epigrams and interludes

Here are my thoughts on the Senate race since the primary.  I published  a similar post that was written in the style of Chapter 4 in Nietzche's Beyond Good and Evil. Enjoy.

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Election day thread

Consider this to be your election day thread.  Want to post the turnout at your precinct, post here. Think The Kingfish overlooked an article that just would have made the difference in the election? Post it here.  Good luck to both sides.  Since we now have voter ID, we will have to say drink early and often today. 

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Fitch shuffles staff

Treasurer Lynn Fitch issued the following press release:



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Mississippi is worth fighting for



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SOS: Absentee votes are up



Mississippi Secretary of State Delbert Hosemann issued the following report on absentee ballots in the Republican runoff for Senate:

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Monday, June 23, 2014

Laurel Leader-Call: Kentucky Fried Hoax (Updated)

Update: See bottom of post.


Buckle the seatbelts.  The Laurel Leader-Call reported today:

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FBI rescued two Mississippi children from sex trafficking

The FBI issued the following press release:

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Can't please anyone.

It seems Mr. Jeremiah Botty was offended by this post about him.  He sent me the following email:

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Blount: Don't look at me, look at thee

Looks like State Senator David Blount (D-Mount Olympus) deigned to weigh in on the Senate race with this tweet:

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Election update

Absentee ballots are up by a large number when compared to the June 3 runoff in the tri-county area. Here are the numbers:

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JJ editorial: Lindsay agreed not to "seek public office". He should honor the agreement.

JJ obtained a copy of a letter signed by Rankin County constable Charles Lindsay, Jr. promising not to run for office again.The letter states:

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Sunday, June 22, 2014

Here we go again: College Republican edition

The Mississippi Federation of College Republicans issued this press release:

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Lane Murray to State Senator: "You want me to come down there and shove it up your ass?"

Only thing missing from this story is L.C. Murray telling Beeeeeeeeeeeeert Case he'd whip his ass.  State Senator Tony Smith (R- Pulled Pork County) posted a Ricky Cole message on his Facebook page:

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Saturday, June 21, 2014

MDE defends Common Core

The Mississippi Department of Education issued the following press release yesterday in response to Governor Phil Bryant's calling Common Core a "failed program".

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Take a chill pill from the Senate race.

Phi Mu of Ole Miss entered the sorority war on Tumblr this week.  Here is a comparison with the  Kappa Alpha Thetas of the University of Arizona.

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Thad Cochran: It's an honor to represent Mississippi.



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NYT: Will transplants determine the Senate race?

The New York Times examined the role of transplant voters in the Mississippi Senate and Virginia Congressional  races a few days ago.  The newspaper specifically focused on Desoto County where Chris McDaniel "clobbered" Thad Cochran by a 2:1 margin.  Interesting fact: 72% of Desoto's population was born outside of Mississippi.  The New York Times reported:

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Friday, June 20, 2014

Yarber inaugural gala tomorrow night.

The gala is free and open to the public. 

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Let the campaign games begin

Here we go. Jones County Supervisor sends out letter asking voters to participate in the runoff Tuesday:

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Indecent things and boobs

Warning: Mature adult language.  

Mississippi once again made the headlines at not Fox News, not PMSNBC, not even CBS but... Comedy Central.  Colbert had a field day with Senator Cochran this week.

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Showing you the money

Here are the latest campaign finance reports for the Senate race.

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More Kior questions

Granted, this article is posted on Seeking Alpha.  The finance website is not exactly the Wall Street Journal.  However, this  May 28 post about Kior raises some interesting questions.

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Thursday, June 19, 2014

Senate update

Democrat pollster Brad Chism said his latest poll showed Chris McDaniel led Thad Cochran 50-44.   6% of the respondents were undecided. Mr. Chism stated on his website:

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Ole Miss jumps into the scrum.

Looks like the Ole Miss Phi Mu's joined the Tumblr competition. Here is the page.  Some pics are posted below.

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Thad Cochran: Veteran



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Casting Call

The City of Clinton issued the following statement:

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WSJ: Health insurance premiums to rise and fall

Are health insurance rates rising? Is the Afforadable Care Act responsible? The Wall Street Journal reported:

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Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Kior lays off more employees

The Associated Press reported tonight:

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Oxford Deputy Clerk indicted

State Auditor Stacey Pickering issued the following press release:

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Bill Billingsley speaks up for Chris McDaniel



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St. Louis Fed: Stimulus didn't stimulate

The St. Louis Branch of the Federal Reserve said most jobs created by the 2009 Recovery Act were "primarily in government."  $821 billion and the taxpayers got little more than a lousy t-shirt.  The St. Louis Fed reported:

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Mayor Yarber hosts Town Hall meeting.

Jackson Mayor Tony Yarber hosted a Town Hall meeting Monday night at Bellweather  Church on Old Canton Road.  Here is the video of the discussion.

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Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Ridgeland gets a new chief.

‎Ridgeland Board of Aldermen voted unanimously tonight to confirm Randy Tyler as Chief of Police. He will assume the position on July 25. 

Sent from my BlackBerry Q10.

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Lewis to Graham: "Screw you"

Hinds County District 4 Constable Jon Lewis minced no words in responding to District 1 Supervisor Robert Graham's insinuation that Mr. Lewis let three individuals into the courthouse on election night. Mr. Lewis sent Mr. Graham an email this afternoon that simply stated "screw you".

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Come see Deanna Tisdale sing Thursday night.

Time to take a break from all things politics.  Ms. Deanna Tisdale will perform in a recital at Belhaven College Thursday night.  She is the daughter of Alice Tisdale and  the late Charles Tisdale. She just completed her studies as a classical Soprano at  the Boston Conservatory in Music Performance. The program and her bio are posted below.

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Another church controversy in Senate race?

The Clarion-Ledger reported today that questions arose about a church's involvement in the Senate race:

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Baptist Record: Courthouse incident under review

The Baptist Record published the following story about the Hinds County courthouse incident and a statement by Executive Director Jim Futral:

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Irony & Blessings

You.just.can't.make.this.up. First the KFC irony, then the blessing for little Victoria:

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ISIS brags about savagery in video.

Warning: This video is violent and graphic. It is not for children to watch. 

ISIS posted this video, The Clash of Swords, Part 4, online to show exactly what it is doing in Iraq.  This video is violent and for adults only.  There are scenes of executions, bombings, the use of IED's on vehicles, and more acts of violence.  The production and propaganda value are good. Sickeningly good. 

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Monday, June 16, 2014

Uh-oh. MBJ reports Landmark deal dead.

Downtown Jackson suffered a blow today as UMMC withdrew from a deal to purchase the Landmark Building.  MBJ reported:

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War vet saves dog on interstate

Break out the tissues.  Scumbag hits beagle on the interstate. Dog is badly wounded in middle of traffic. War vet saves him. WDAF (Kansas City) reported Friday:

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Battle of the polls

Citizen's United and Brad Chism released polls today and are posted below.

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Meet the real Chris McDaniel



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Come get your mutts


These dogs were found on Poplar this morning. Send email to kingfish1935@gmail.com.

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Update on pit bill victim turned away at KFC

Kentucky Fried Chicken apparently donated $30,000 to little Victoria's medical costs and therapy. CBS will broadcast a story on the morning show tomorrow. The Facebook page for Victoria published this email:

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Secretary of State provides election update

Secretary of State Delbert Hosemann issued the following press release:

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Saturday, June 14, 2014

Bill Billingsley speaks on Chris McDaniel



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No comment.

This video was too funny to pass up. Can't imagine why its funny.

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Friday, June 13, 2014

Ronny Lott signs taxpayer pledge.


Ronny Lott Signs Taxpayer Protection Pledge
Republican candidate promises to continue his record of support for smaller, more efficient government as Chancery Clerk
Supervisor Ronny Lott, Republican candidate for Madison County Chancery Clerk, announced today that he has signed the Americans for Tax Reform’s Taxpayer Protection Pledge.  The pledge reads, “I, Ronny Lott, pledge to the taxpayers of Madison County that I will oppose and vote against any and all efforts to increase taxes.”

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This week on WJNT

The Clarion-Ledger's Sam Hall appeared on the radio show to discuss the Senate race.


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Bonehead's gonna bonehead: KFC edition

 A mother of a little girl wrote on Facebook that the Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant on North State Street asked the family to leave because "her face scared the other diners."  The girl was the victim of a vicious pit bull attack in Simpson County.  The attack left her face severely injured and scarred.  The motherlater posted that a representative of the restaurant chain asked her for more information after she published her Facebook post.  The Facebook posts are below.  Family could probably use some help, hint, hint.  While y'all are writing checks to campaigns and PACs, perhaps you could remember this little girl.

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Trent Lott on Senator Thad Cochran



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WSJ: Where are the grown-ups?

Kimberly Strassel argues in the Wall Street Journal that one of the main reasons for the Obama's administrations mishaps in foreign policy is not the inattentiveness of the President but rather the lack of serious people in his foreign policy appointments. This column is worth reading for partisans on both sides as it shows what type of people are running foreign policy.  She writes:

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Latest filing for Cochran PAC

A few small nuggets of information popped up yesterday when the Mississippi Conservatives PAC filed its pre-runoff report with the Federal Elections Commission.  The PAC supports the candidacy of Senator Thad Cochran. Brian Perry is the director.

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Thursday, June 12, 2014

Directive from management.

There is much more traffic on this site due to the Senate race.  More readers, more arguments, and more friction. Means more tempers are lost.  Here is the deal.  Watch the language.  A comment with the "STFU" acronym will not be approved.  Calling each other "idiot" and "dumbass" will get a comment zapped.  Referring to politicians by those names is a different matter.  You guys are making great points.  The comments are appreciated. Just act like you've seen a message board before.  NOW for Kenneth Stokes posts, there are no rules. 

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NYT: Country club v. Deer Camp

The New York Times decided to come down here and tell us how things are in Mississippi:

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Sorority row FOOD FIGHT!!! (NSFW)

It seems we are now living in the middle of an online war zone on Tumblr.  A huge fight broke out online between several sororities as the battle rages to see who has the better um, wares.or as Totalfratmove.com reported on its website:

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They're baaaack. Airwave wants to jack up the county for some jack.

Airwave demanded damages from Hinds County in a bill of exceptions filed in Hind County Circuit Court yesterday.  The Hinds County Board of Supervisors terminated several contracts with Airwave after Supervisors Darrell McQuirter and Tony Greer assumed office in November.  Airwave is owned by Nathan Hargrove and Stacy Stowers.

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Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Wait, don't forget Ricky

Mississippi Democratic Grand Poobah Ricky Cole sent out this message today on the Senate race:

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Haley jumps into the scrum

Former Governor Haley Barbour issued this press release today:

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Former Mayor Greg Davis: Guilty

State Auditor Stacey Pickering issued the following press release:

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Bobo goes to the funny farm

Circuit Judge William Chapman ordered Joshua Bobo (age 28) transferred to a Brookhaven psychiatric facility in March.  Ridgeland police arrested the 28-year old man in January after he stabbed a pharmacist with a syringe at Walmart, carjacked an older woman in the parking lot, ran back inside the store, swallowed H202, and then took some pills.  Mr. Bobo was serving a sentence of supervised probation for five years for a previous conviction when the Ridgeland incident took place.

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Tuesday, June 10, 2014

More for Mississippi



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National Review takes a pretty good stab at why McDaniel did so well.

We haven't spent much time on this website analyzing the Senate race results.  This National Review article will get us off to a good start.  NR said the real reason McDaniel won (let's face it, he won even though he did not reach 50% of the vote.) was due to the media strategy.  Henry Olsen writes:

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Good advice for both campaigns

Since both campaigns can't seem to stay out of trouble, here is some good advice.

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Pieces of silver can pay for alot of outrage.

Warning: Jackassery alert. Be advised. 

Jeremiah Boddy said in a Youtube video how disgusted he was that the Cochran campaign canvassed at his church.  Mr. Boddy is a black conservative who supports Chris McDaniel. This video was produced in response to this post that broke the news about a Cochran ad in the Mississippi Link.  Mr. Boddy later went out the KIM Waaaaaaade show to profess more outrage. Just one little fact he left out of all these diatribes.

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Monday, June 9, 2014

Food for thought from the WSJ:

The Wall Street Journal published a very penetrating editorial about the Senate race in the weekend edition.  It could have mentioned Mr. McDaniel being a State Senator but it still made some good points.

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Apple about to do it again.

Get ready for Apple-proprietary headphones.  Forbes columnist Gordon Kelly said that the Beats deal suddenly became lightning port clear:

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Senate race coverage update.

All posts about the Senate race have been published on a special page.  Want to go back and look at some past stories or videos? Go to the Mississippi Senate race page to see all posts about this race. 

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Sunday, June 8, 2014

Thad for Senate



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We report, you decide: Courthouse edition

Much ado has been made about the Tea Party Trio's visit to the Hinds County courthouse on election night.  JJ decided to provide some photos and a video tour of the courthouse at night so you can see the courthouse as the Tea Party Trio saw it. Decide for yourself if their explanations hold water.

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Saturday, June 7, 2014

Dr. Mayfield passed

‎Dr. Bill Mayfield passed away last night. He had been unresponsive for over a week. He suffered from recent kidney failure. He was accused of killing his wife. He suffered from Parkinson's Disease as well.

Sent from my BlackBerry Q10.

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Belmont's past

Today is the Belmont. Here is a little video reminder of Secretariat's record-breaking performance at the Belmont.

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The stupid spreads (Updated)

Update: It looks like Mr. Cartwright was a fair-haired boy of the GOP establishment. See below.

Mary Cole confronts a Cochran supporter
It seems the Stupid is spreading around Mississippi as the Senate race continues.  JJ obtained photos of three supporters of Thad Cochran tearing up Chris McDaniel yard signs in Starkpatch and replacing them with Thad Cochran signs.  The incident was captured on camera and the police were called to the scene.  McDaniel supporter Mary Cole said she saw two young girls removing the signs and placing them in the vehicle of Ethan Cartwright, age 19.


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Friday, June 6, 2014

Coaches stand accused relationship with student.

‎Law enforcement sources tell JJ that a case against two Ridgeland High School coaches has been presented to a Madison County grand jury. The coaches are accused of having an inappropriate relationship with a 15 year-old female student.  The "relationship" continued for over a year.  No other information is known at this time. 

Sent from my BlackBerry Q10.

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Blast from the Y'all past

Who can forget this May 8 taunt from Frank Corder on Y'all Politics:

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No comment: Senate race edition.

You.just.can't.make.this.up.

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Thursday, June 5, 2014

Update: Case closed.

The Hinds County Sheriff's Office closed the "courthouse three" case after it determined no laws were broken.  Make comments in the earlier post. 

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Is Que Sera Sera for sale?

Century 21 published this listing on the local website:

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Greatness.

Marshall Ramsey had a field day with the courthouse incident on Twitter last night:

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Ladd: "It's those Mississippi Democrats who frustrate me the most"

Elections tend to bring out the worst in Ms. Ladd as she writes in the British Guardian newspaper what she really thinks of Mississippi:

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Aykroyd to appear at Tyrone Lewis fundraiser

Dan Aykroyd, yes, Elwood himself, will be the special guest at a fundraiser for Hinds County Sheriff Tyrone Lewis at the home of attorney Ashley Ogden Thursday night.  The invitation is posted below.

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Wednesday, June 4, 2014

McDaniel campaign issues statement on courthouse incident.

The Chris McDaniel campaign issued the following press release: 

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She's at it again: Tea Party edition

Update: HCSO just confirmed in writing that the two other individuals with Janis Lane were Scott Brewster and Rob Chambers. Scott Brewster is the "Coalition Director" for the campaign. Mr. Chambers is a consultant for the Mississippi Baptist Christian Action Commission

Correction: The original post stated there were two women. HCSO said there two men and a woman as stated above. Pete Perry said there were three women.

It seems Central Mississippi Tea Party President Janis Lane cannot stay out of trouble.  Ms. Lane and two other women gained access to the Hinds County Circuit Clerk's office around 2:00 AM.  The Hinds County Sheriff's Office is investigating the invasion.

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Who can vote?

Hinds County Republican Party Chairman Pete Perry just told JJ that anyone can vote in the runoff election if one takes place if they did not vote in the Democratic primary Didn't vote at all? Show up and vote on June 24.  Voted for Childers? Stay home.

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By the numbers

Here is the county by county breakdown of the Mississippi Senate Republican primary last night.

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WJNT today.

Good show today as The Kingfish hosted former State Senator and Chris McDaniel friend Lee Yancey on the show today to discuss the Senate race.


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and....... Thunderdome anyone?

Cochran pulled out Rankin 50%-49% after being down most of the night in that county.  McDaniel: 49.6%. Cochran, 48.9%. Carey, 1.6%  Looks like we are going to a runoff.  Yes, a runoff.  Why? Because you people couldn't make up your minds, that's why. ;-)  Yes, you really do deserve this.  Election will be June 24.  Here is the video of State Senator Chris McDaniel's speech last night:

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Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Live-blogging the election tonight. Lott & Overby in runoff. .

Note: 4 Hinds boxes won't be counted until in the morning. 16 Rankin boxes still out. Rankin will count tonight. See bottom of post for more details.

This is the election night thread. I don't expect any results to start appearing until after 8:00. This will be fun.

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Meet Tom Carey, the third Republican on the ballot today

Good solid conservative. A realtor. That means private sector. Creating wealth. Not a lawyer or politician. Opposes Obamacare. Wants to cut spending and grow the economy. Not beholden to the special interests who've bought the campaign. Here is a Fox 13 interview with him. He is ON the ballot today and if you are sick of both campaigns, here is an alternative.

Click Here to Read More..

Senate campaign epigrams and interludes

 Note: This was first posted yesterday.

My favorite chapter of Nietzche's Beyond Good and Evil is "Epigrams and Interludes". The philosopher chooses to collect a wide array of various thoughts and place them into one chapter.  I have decided to post my observations about the Senate race in the same vein instead of writing one big monster column.  Enjoy.

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There wasn't supposed to be a kaboom.


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Monday, June 2, 2014

Vote for Irby Ford tomorrow

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Showing you the money

Here are the campaign finance reports for the Madison Chancery Clerk's race. 

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Tomorrow on the Ben Allen Show


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Sunday, June 1, 2014

Oops.

Someone in the College Republicans apparently got stupid.  The Mississippi Federation of College Republicans issued this press release:

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Classy!!!

Update: The complete video is posted below. Judge for yourself. Announcer wouldn't let go of asking whether the team was inspired by the bus burning down.


I wonder if he complained about the color of the fire trucks. Reminds me of a homeless guy I saw yelling at the crew to hurry up with his free food during a crowded lunch hour at the McDonald's on Fortification Street. Congrats to the kids for beating USL on their own turf this weekend. Coach's comments shouldn't take away from what they did.

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Campaign FOOD FIGHT!!!

Can we get some adults in this campaign?  PLEASE??? Check out this Twitter fight between Jordan Russell and Keith Plunkett. Mr. Russell is the spearcatcher, I mean Communications Director for the Thad Cochran campaign while Mr. Plunkett is the genius, um, make that Policy Director for the Chris McDaniel campaign.  Entertaining for us but seriously, two officials in U.S. Senate campaigns getting into it online? If there is an example of the problems with BOTH of these campaigns, these screen shots are it. 

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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