Friday, February 28, 2014

Sal & Mookies bringing healthcare to you

Check out this email. 

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They are in!!

Gene Taylor and Travis Childers qualified. Time to have some fun. Gene is also a GOPer now.

Update: Ricky Cole just issued the following press release:

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Irby Ford running for Madison County Chancery Clerk

Irby Ford issued the following press release:

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JPD asks state to investigate police chase

The Jackson Police Department issued the following press release:

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Thursday, February 27, 2014

De'Keither Bloomberg?

Jackson City Councilman De'Keither Stamps wants to tell Jackson restaurants what they can serve to children.  He said at this morning's meeting of the Jackson city council that the city should require fast food restaurants to offer a "healthy" choice to kids.

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Black Caucus asks Holder for help

The Black Caucus of the Mississippi Legislature asked U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder to come on down to Mississippi and do something about voter ID:

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Who should run for Mayor?

We will have a special election in the next 45-60 days or so.  Who do you think should run?  Should Harvey come back to offer some stability?  Does Lee want a rematch? Is Regina the choice of the Bennie Machine or is it Junior? Is there a dark horse candidate no one has? Yarber? Stokes? Interesting issue: Does a candidate offer his own platform or pledge to continue the legacy of Mayor Lumumba? Does John Horhn have a chance?  DeKeither?   Vote in the poll.

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City council meeting

‎Tweeting the city council meeting at kingfish1935.

Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone.

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Results of media poll

Results are in and although JJ led the results I'm going to declare WLBT the winner. There is a built-in bias after all since this is a JJ poll.  WLBT doubled the votes of the nearest competitor, WAPT.  The Clarion-Ledger was next but what was interesting was Twitter was only 15 votes behind the newspaper.  Could media be entering a phase where readers no longer watch the news or first go to the media website but instead scan Twitter for headlines? What will that mean for news coverage in Jackson? Here are the results.

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Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Questions for the PM

Here are is latest edition of Questions for the Prime Minister. Good stuff.

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Thoughtless? Just thoughtless?

Everyone has heard about the noose placed on the statue of James Meredith at Ole Miss. The feds are a'comin', the students are thrown out of school, and the frat was suspended. Check out how Ole Miss treated a similar incident 12 years ago. The Clarion-Ledger reported in 2002:

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More Epicurious

Here are some more columns from the original Epicurious.  There are some real gems in this collection.  She praises Crechale's and Keifer's while she body-slams Cerami's back in 1983.  This collection was copied from microfiche so advanced apologies are in order for the use of various angles.  Enjoy. 

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Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Danks is the million dollar man

The Madison Police Department issued the following press release:

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Council appoints successor, sets special election.

Sorry, not trying to be tasteless but I am literally getting bombarded with questions on succession. Here is the law on mayoral succession: 

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Mayor Lumumba passed away

‎More to follow. Prayers for his family.  The Mayor complained of chest pains and coded at St. Dominic's Hospital. 

Update: The Mississippi Democratic Party, Brandon Jones, and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Schuler Smith issued the following press releases:

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Chokwe fires back

You may remember the slight bout of unpleasantness that took place two weeks ago in the chambers of the Jackson City Council.  Some questions arose over the public-private cooperation on the District at Eastover project.  Developer Ted Duckworth said the city was "Mickey-Mousing around".* The Mayor met with Mr. Duckworth and co-developer Breck Hines two days later.  The Mayor then had a few things to say at the following city council meeting.  Earlier post.

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Remembering Epicurious

Spent some time digging around the Clarion-Ledger archives last night as I never read the columns by the original Epicurious.  She had some serious, serious game. Incidentally, the new microfiche machines at Eudora Welty are very nice. Makes the ones at the Dept. of Archives look as if they were made in the dark ages.  Here is one she wrote about the Silver Platter. Damn. Won't see this in EatJxn or the Clarion-Ledger today.

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Update on Special Needs tuition bill

The House Education Committee will address bills that will provide tuition for children with special needs at 1:00 PM.  Parents of children with special needs will hold a press conference at 11:00 today on the second floor of the Capitol in the Rotunda.  Here is some basic information about the bills:

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The more things change......

Check out this Clarion-Ledger editorial from 32 years about about the water system:

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Monday, February 24, 2014

Target suspects ID'ed.

Looks like we got some trash from Florida.  The Madison Police Department issued the following press release:

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Judge gets the Lieutenant's attention

Update: Case goes to trial in May. 

Special Circuit Judge Henry Lackey scheduled a hearing last week to ask Hinds County Supervisor Robert Graham why he had not complied with any discovery requests in a civil lawsuit filed by the state. The State Auditor and Attorney General sued Mr. Graham in February 2012 seeking repayment of  $23,818 they claim he bilked from the city of Jackson while he worked at JPD.  Hizzonour must have gotten his attention because the responses to discovery were served the very next day.

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Hate it when that happens

Candidates for a minor Darwin award. 

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Funeral arrangements for Orley Hood

Here are his funeral arrangements and obituary:

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McDaniel: for or against earmarks like museums?

 This post is a paid advertisement by Mississippi Conservatives PAC.

The Mississippi Conservatives PAC released the following press release and commercial:

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Sunday, February 23, 2014

Ole Miss frat issues statement

Kingfish note: This frat was NOT involved in the statue incident. 


The Phi Kappa Tau Fraternity at Ole Miss issued the following statement:

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Madison PD gets their men.

The Madison Police Department issued the following press release:

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The FCC just wants to "study" the media.

The FCC tabled plans to "study" how the media covers news or in the words of the FCC, the "Critical Information Needs" of America.  The idea might be dead  but it should not ever be forgotten. Here are some highlights of the 78-page study:

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One question for Thad & Chris: Ukraine

Came across this column about the Ukrainian crisis in The Independent (UK) a few minutes ago:

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Happy Birthday Kurt

He would have been 47:

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Saturday, February 22, 2014

Netflix: is the joy ride over?

Karl Denninger makes some penetrating observations about Netflix in The Market Ticker blog.  Simply put, Netflix has done quite well for itself - by unloading its operating costs onto carriers such as Verizon.  That is changing and Netflix's future as well. 

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Remembering Epicurious

Judge Grady Jolly penned this wonderful eulogy about his now-deceased wife, Betty Carol Simmons Jolly, that was published in the Clarion-Ledger. She was more commonly known as Epicurious, the food critic for the newspaper who lavished praise on restaurants when deserved and also crucified them when it was deserved.  Remembering her is remembering how good newspapers used to be and how far they have fallen. 

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The "C's"

The Mississippi Department of Health issued the grade of "C" to the following restaurants or establishments providing food service since December 20, 2013.  The grade is the lowest one the state can give. 

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Friday, February 21, 2014

Beeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrt to WAPT

Yes, you read that right.  Beeeeeeeeeeeerrrrt Case is going to WAPT.  There will be no players to be named later. No draft choices in exchange.  The old warhouse still has some horsepower in him as he pushes back the sun to perform for yet another day. WAPT issued the following statement on its website:

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Belhaven Basil's is closing.

The Greater Belhaven Neighorhood News online newsletter made the following announcement today:

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Farewell to Orley

‎Orley Hood passed away last night. Our thoughts and prayers are with his family.

Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone.

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Chamber announces appointments to sales tax commission

The Greater Jackson Chamber Partnership issued the following press release:

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One simple question

What the hell is going on in Madison County?   A $1.2 million contract to "study" moving the airport and no one has a copy, no minutes, no nothing??????   The Madison County Journal experienced a bout of actual reporting and published this story:

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Thursday, February 20, 2014

Grandson suspect in beating death of 91 year-old woman

Ridgeland Police issued the following press release:

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Kelly Williams: Another one bites the dust

Kelley Williams, Sr. writes in Bigger Pie Forum that another state-backed energy project failed:

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King Cake smack (Updated with a new leader)

It's our favorite time of the year at JJ:  Mardi Gras.  15 years ago you couldn't buy a King Cake in this town at any price.  There are now a plethora of them for sale in the Jackson area.  A couple of friends and I decided to conduct a taste test of four of them.  

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Help Marshall Ramsey & The Cancer League


The Cancer League will honor Marshall Ramsey at its annual gala Saturday night. Be there. Ticket info and more detailsTuxes Too has tuxes for rent or sale even at this late date.

This post is a paid advertisement.

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Bill Walker: No mas on DMR indictments

Former Department of Marine Resources' Bill Walker will plead guilty to one count of conspiracy to defraud the government.  A federal grand jury indicted him for one count each of conspiracy, conversion to own use the property of another, conspiracy to commit mail fraud, and mail fraud. 

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Jackson goes purple

Looks like the Purple Gang continues to take over Jackson city government. Meet the new Deputy Chief Administrative Officer for the Lumumba Administration:

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Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Weill gives Cole 40 years

Hinds County District Attorney Robert Schuler Smith issued the following press release:

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Morgan Shands misspent over $200,000 in American Legion funds... on himself.

Billy Hewes' former campaign manager Morgan Shands will have to repay $370,116 to American Legion Post 1776 in Cleveland, Mississippi over the next ten years, after reaching an agreement with Secretary of State Delbert Hosemann.  The Secretary of State determined he spent several hundred thousands of dollars in American Legion funds for his own personal benefit.

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Today's show on WJNT

Brian Perry appeared on second half of the show as a representative of a pro-Thad Cochran PAC. First segment was a recap of JJ posts. Second segment discussed Representative Cartman Hamilton of Olive Branch and the Senate bill involving private school tuition for special needs children.



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Madison road closing

The city of Madison issued the following press release:

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PRVWSD making changes to camping, alcohol use, and fees.

It was a busy day at the Reservoir yesterday, as the Parks Committee for PRVWSD tackled alcohol permits, user fees for special events, and camping on the river. Campers will be required to obtain permits if they wish to camp upriver. The district will probably charge more money next year for events such as Pepsi Pops and the Dragon Boat Regatta. The district will also look to crack down on alcohol use at these events, although an alcohol permit can be purchased. The video is posted below.

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Desoto resident speaks out on the cult of Kuykendall

Desoto County resident Heather Fox sent this little column on Desoto County schools and legislators to JJ:

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Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Scott Walker pleading guilty

Federal prosecutors notched another guilty plea on their conviction stick today in the DMR case.  Scott Walker filed an intent to plead guilty notice in U.S. District Court:

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Democrats want Mississippi to "wake up"

The Mississippi Democratic Trust issued the following press release:

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45 year sentence in Party City murder

Rankin-Madison District Attorney Michael Guest issued the following press release:

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Going to the top of the world

Oh, hell no. Not going to catch me trying this stunt. 

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St. Andrew's returns fire. Martins claim $2 million in emotional distress.

Here is some more lawyer porn. St. Andrew's filed a response to Precious and Crystal Martin's motion to compel. Here are some excerpts from the response:

Click Here to Read More..

Monday, February 17, 2014

NYT: New York attacking Common Core

The New York Times reports the commies in New York are also questioning the Common Core curriculum:

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Here are the Lost Wabbit reports

Its ALOT to read but here are the studies and supporting documents provided to the Madison County Board of Supervisors for the Lost Rabbit Settlement.

Click Here to Read More..

Sunday, February 16, 2014

New Poll

A new poll is up. We asketh the question: Where do you get your local news? We have run this poll before, but this time I added some twists to it: Facebook and Twitter. I probably get more local news from Twitter than anywhere else. It's replaced the news readers to some degree. I almost left out the actual tv stations and instead posted "Local TV stations on-air" and "Local tv station websites" but chose not to do so. Anyway, vote early and often.

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Whole Foods

Whole Foods is here. It's open. Many of you have now visited the store. What did you think of the store? No trolls, please. If you took pictures of the store and want to post them, send them to Kingfish1935@gmail.com. No name will be mentioned unless express permission is given.

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Kior halts production to make improvements

Kior halted production at its Columbus plant in December to "make improvements" and has not plans to resume production during the first quarter of 2014.  The company operates a plant in Columbus and plans to open a larger one in Natchez. The legislature approved $75 million in interest-free loans to Kior in a 2010 special session. The plants are supposed to convert woodchips into crude oil and gasoline. The project was supposed to create 1000 direct and indirect jobs in Mississippi as well as constructing up to five plants. Bloomberg reports:

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Saturday, February 15, 2014

The Swag Society

Meet some of Oxford's finest.

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Oooo... I love to dance a little side-step....

Representative Bryant Clark put on some moves this week in the legislature that left one member saying "it was the slickest move he had ever seen."

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Friday, February 14, 2014

Tonight is the night


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St. Andrew's hearing Tuesday

A hearing will be held in Hinds County Circuit Court on Tuesday regarding discovery issues in Martin v. St. Andrews et al at 9:00 Am. The notice states:

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Santelli: Where is the escape velocity?

All the stimulus and no velocity? Rick Santelli says on CNBC the recovery started but questions whether it is sustainable:

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King, Mandela, Obama, Lathon.

Credit: The Columbus Dispatch


The title for this  post was going to be "Harold Lathan: FIGJAM!!!" as he compared himself to Dr. Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela a few years ago.  The Dispatch published a little story about Chokwe's economic development director in 2011:

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Thursday, February 13, 2014

Domestic violence bills pass Senate on unanimous votes

The Senate just passed two bills that will strengthen domestic violence laws if enacted.  Senator Will Longwitz sponsored both bills. They will now move to the House for passage.

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Dems attack education for disabled


The Democratic Trust issued the following press release:

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Find this mutt

From Craig's List: My friend's 5 year old Beagle named Ms. Bailey was stolen last night. The only info she has is that it was a lady named Laurie who was at Sam's Lounge last night.She is said to frequent Shuckers on the Rez. This person is a stranger, it is unknown why she took Ms. Bailey. Any info much appreciated.  She needs medication for an eye condition. More info:

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Senate update

Looks like our lil' ole senate race made the national media again this week:

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WJNT yesterday

Had a few things to say about the Duckworth controversy and Speaker Loome's teacher pay raise for the first part of the show.  Second part of the show was supposed to be State Senator Chris McDaniel but his communications director subbed for him. Bumpers were Sponge speech from Inherit the Wind, Edge of the Blade by Journey (Only good song they ever made), and a clip by the original Kingfish, Huey P. Long.


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Wednesday, February 12, 2014

It's that time of day.

Paul Harvey on policemen

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Rematch!!!

Ali Shamsid-Deen wants a rematch against Hinds County Circuit Judge Jeff Weill. Qualifying list of candidates.

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State Auditor can't certify MAEP estimates

State Auditor Stacey Pickering issued the following press release:

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Larita not alone

It looks like Larita Cooper-Stokes will face some competition.  State Representative Kimberly Campbell qualified to run against her for county court judge in Hinds County.  Bio.

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Developers say project stalled because city is "Mickey Mousing around" (Video)

Update: City went to site and located the water line Friday.

A frustrated Ted Duckworth spoke his mind to the Jackson City Council at its regular meeting yesterday, as he said a lack of cooperation from the city is delaying construction at The District at Eastover. (18:00 in the video posted below.)

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Tuesday, February 11, 2014

It's that time of day

5:05 and you know what that means:

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Progressive logic down south

Argentina.  A civilized country slowly descending into progressive chaos.  The Wall Street Journal reported:

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Plagiarism? We report, you decide.

Check out this video of The Queen talking about Lost Rabbit a few weeks ago at her state of the city address that is on the Clarion-Ledger website:

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Monday, February 10, 2014

Budget transparency bill passes Senate

Leftenant Governor Tate Reeves issued the following press release:

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St. Andrews asks court to stop the Martins from fishing

Earlier post with copy of complaint

St. Andrews vigorously objected to several questions about other students sought in discovery by Precious and Crystal Martin. The Martins sued Saint Andrews for breach of contract, as they claimed the school did not protect their son from bullying. The school filed a motion for a protective order to prevent the Martins from obtaining information on other students. A hearing is set for 9:00 AM on February 18. Judge Jeff Weill will preside.

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Sunday, February 9, 2014

Time to play "Show me the money"

It's that time of year: the annual publication of campaign finance reports.  Thought you might like to see who has what.  If you want to dig into the details of a particular report, go to this page

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But, but, but, we did it all for them. Don't they understand?

Health care industry expert Bob Laszewski points out only 11% of those purchasing insurance under Obamacare were uninsured.  He asked in an earlier post ""But what if most of the uninsured literally don't buy Obamacare?"

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Saturday, February 8, 2014

Pigs gonna slop

Lot vacant for twenty years.  Economically depressed area. Black community.  Major grocery store chain wants to build store on said vacant lot. What  could possibly go wrong?  The Oregonian and Jackson's own Casey Parks (Once of the JFP) reported:

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Friday, February 7, 2014

New media meets corporate America

Switch up from politics for a second. Here is an interesting interview on Fox Business this week concerning a new type of entrepreneur. Producing viral videos for corporate America. 

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Tomorrow night: Ignite the Night at the Children's Museum


Click on ad on right side of page for more information
This post is a paid advertisement.

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Continued

Sentencing for Claiborne Frazier, Austin Frazier, and C.E. Frazier, Jr.  is postponed until March. A February 4 court filing states:

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The Apothecary participates in Southern Living's happy hour tonight

The Apothecary issued the following press release:

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Message is clear: No user fees for MSWIN (video)

Note: See Twitter feed @kingfish1935 for tweets from the meeting today.  

A spirited discussion on user fees for the MSWIN system took place before an overflow audience at the regular board meeting of the Mississippi Wireless Communication Commission Thursday afternoon at the state fire academy auditorium.  Police chiefs, Sheriffs, and other first responders clearly and loudly told the commission they were opposed to paying user fees for the MSWIN system.  More than a few audience members said they could not afford to pay such fees and would quit using the statewide radio system if the commission ever charges user fees.

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Thursday, February 6, 2014

We have some good news & bad news

The good news is we might get Larita Cooper-Stokes off of the Jackson City Council. The bad news is......

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Baker Donelson moving to The District

Baker-Donelson just issued this press release:

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More "Destination shopping"

Looks like more corporate welfare is coming to Mississippi in the form of some "destination shopping".  The Desoto Times reported a few weeks ago:

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Help Hudspeth tonight

Good cause.  There are no tickets for this even although a $20 donation at the door is encouraged. A portion of Table 100's sales will go towards the benefit.

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Changing the Flag

Came across these designs for a new state flag online. What do you think? Like 'em? Keep the current one?

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Wednesday, February 5, 2014

WJNT today

Senator Angela Hill appeared on the show today to discuss all things Common Core. Enjoy.


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Senate race update

The scrum between Senator Thad Cochran and Senator Chris McDaniel heats up as the pro-Thad PAC Mississippi Conservatives fired a round of visual artillery with this ad:

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Stokes economics

Want to see how cities and counties go broke? Watch this video.  Hinds County Supervisor Kenneth Stokes had a gentleman make a presentation to the Board of Supervisors Monday about cashing out the towers owned by the the county.  The county enjoys a revenue stream from lease payments made by wireless carriers such as C-Spire and AT&T.  What Mr. Stokes' little crony proposed the county do is get all of their money up front instead of over the life of the lease (usually 15-20 years.).  Just one thing was not mentioned. 

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Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Domestic violence bills pass first hurdle

Senator Will Longwitz issued the following statement after two bills on domestic violence passed. Just remember, folks, you can beat your wife and get half the fine you can get if you beat your dog.

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Scumbags gonna scumbag

Smearing and trying to rob Howard Ballou and his family didn't work. Now the no-good for nothing sons of Dr. Martin Luther King are at it again.  They want to sell their father's Nobel Peace Prize and Bible. You read that correctly.  The AP reports:

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Mooches are like hydras.......

Can't make this up. County cancels a $120,000 contract to cut the grass and perform other minor services at the county radio towers as the Sheriff said his inmates could cut the grass.... for free. Never fear.  A preacher/"contractor" shows up at Hinds County yesterday with his hand out for some gummint money:

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New Lost Rabbit? (video)

A proposed settlement might move the stalled Lost Rabbit development forward if all parties agree to its terms. The development at the end of Hoy Road in Madison has been bogged down in lawsuits after the Lost Rabbit Public Improvement District (PID) dissolved and defaulted on $18 million in bonds sold to Allstate Insurance Company. No properties have been sold in Lost Rabbit during the last five years.  County officials stressed the study did not include any plans for the construction of apartments in Lost Rabbit. The parties agreed to the settlement in principle subject to final approval by their respective legal counsel.

Click Here to Read More..

Monday, February 3, 2014

Speaker Loome outlines teacher pay raise plan

Speakah Philip Loome issued this press release today:

Click Here to Read More..

Wost Wabbit

At LR presentation. See twitter feed for updates. 

Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone.

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Blackmons overcharging? We report, you decide.

The Clarion-Ledger finally tackled a subject near and dear to our hearts at JJ: government-paid legal fees. One of the open secrets of Mississippi government is the hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees cities and counties pay to their pet lawyers. The newspaper reported:

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New education player?

Chris Keiffer reports in the Northeast Mississippi Daily Journal a new education PAC has been created:

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Sunday, February 2, 2014

Minimum wage hike? There is an app for that.

Hike the minimum wage.  $10 an hour, $15, an hour, heck, lets make it $20 an hour.  That should really spur the economy.  Just one problem.  Raising costs for businesses puts pressure on them to cut costs elsewhere.  No problem.  There's an app for that.  Michael Saltsman writes in the Wall Street Journal:

Click Here to Read More..

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Ms. Pat speaks her mind

"I'm not your mama on Thursday, I'm your landlord."  This lady is too funny. Raw but funny. 

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These people are really clueless.

This is scary.  Apparently being a successful or having a job makes one a target for the Occupy Crowd. The New York Times reports:

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He's baaaaaaaaaaaack.

Rankin County Constable Tim Gardner resigned his position.  A special election will be held in November.  Guess who qualified for the election? Charles Lindsay.

Click Here to Read More..


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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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