Tuesday, December 31, 2013

No, she's not nuts.

Sort of taking the day off today but here is a post related to the feminist post Sunday. A radfem blogger argues all sex with a male is rape. She complains in this post about not having any friends. The irony is simply too rich.

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Year in review: V

Here are a couple of videos from April.  The first one is Senator David Jordan (D-Hollywood) showing his real personality at a school board meeting in the Delta. David Jordan in "Do you know who I am video. Then there was the Hemp Lady.  She ran as a candidate for Mayor in Jackson. Her solution for everything was hemp.  See for yourself.  Hemp 1, Hemp II

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Monday, December 30, 2013

Year in review: IV

This is probably my favorite blast from the past of 2013 JJ archives.  JJ submitted a public records request to Hinds County for a copy of the settlement agreement between Motorola and the county.    Original post. An important principle of law was at stake: can a government body seal a settlement agreement even though it represents the taxpayers.  This site took the position public records laws are a fundamental part of elected government and thus are necessary to hold elected leaders accountable to the people.  Hinds County disagreed so we went to court.  It took 2 1/2 years but the settlement was obtained. Judge orders disclosure of settlement.  It turns out the county attorney made $1 million on the case out of a $2.5 million settlement.  His response was to call me a klukker on his radio show.  Typical for him but that is besides the point.  Copy of agreement The taxpayers of Hinds County won in the end.

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Public records updates

Looks like the new regimes have some learnin' to do about public records laws.

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How not to make a DUI arrest

Here is a case study in how not to make an arrest. Exhibit A: The Madison Police Department as they arrested one Sarah Lofton of Madison County and charged her with a DUI (refusal) and leaving the scene of the accident, only to have a Madison County Court judge throw out the case.

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Sunday, December 29, 2013

Year in review: III

The Eric Law story was rather disgusting as it involved the statutory rape of a 15 year old girl by a local tv weatherman.  JJ broke the story about the "law and order" room at Eric Law's home as it obtained a copy of the police report.  This post received the second highest number of hits in 2013.  Original post.  Mr. Law is now serving eight years in the state pen.  The case spawned some jackassery that was covered by the post Eric Law pick-up lines

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Adopt this mutt

A good Samaritan rescued this dog and sent this message to a friend:

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2013 in review: II

This March post delved into the issue of "black flight" from Jackson.  JJ reviewed the change in black enrollment in schools that are adjacent to Jackson.  Needless to say, blacks are fleeing Jackson in greater numbers and are doing it more quickly as this post reported.  Original post.  Needless to say, this is an issue that is not covered in the local media much less the local political races. 

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Saturday, December 28, 2013

No comment

Just a post on a radfem blog. Warning: Not safe for work or kids. Adult subject matter.

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The War on the Corps begins

Looks like the Marine Corps is relaxing the standards for female soldiers. NPR reported:

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Friday, December 27, 2013

Blast from the past

Welcome to the year in review post.  JJ is going to post some favorites from 2013 over the next few days.  Here is one for the books and it involves our favorite subject: the Hinds County Board of Supervisors.  The Supes attempted to hire a lobbyist in January.  They didn't know this clown was a disbarred attorney nor was it illegal to hire him on contingency.  Watch for yourself.  You can't make this up.  The board did hire him but later rescinded the vote when it all hit the fan, thanks to this website.  Enjoy.

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Hattiesburg City Council asks auditor for help

WDAM reported last week:

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Jackassery alert

Just one question about this ad I found on a local bulletin board:

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Thursday, December 26, 2013

The Mississippi Rose Law Firm?

Someone did some oppo-research on Butler Snow and fed it to Cottonmouth.  The Democrat website published a little article this week on Butler Snow and its Republican connections.

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Noonan: Low-information Leadership

Peggy Noonan penned probably the best critique of the Obama administration on her Wall Street Journal blog earlier this month.  There is much in her column for Republicans and Democrats to appreciate.  People expect their leaders to make the trains run on time regardless of party.   The post is a longer read than usual but worth it. 

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Tuesday, December 24, 2013

The true meaning of Christmas

Merry Christmas to you.  This video says it all. 

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Monday, December 23, 2013

Merry Christmas

Nothing like a little holiday cheer.  Not safe for work or people who hate Duck Dynasty & Phil Robertson. 

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Happy Birthday to D.I. Smith


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Latest C's

Here are the C's awarded to restaurants in the Jackson metro area for the month of  December by the Department of Health. Needless to say, a grade of C is the lowest grade given by the state.

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Sunday, December 22, 2013

Bayou of Pigs

Entertaining story about the attempted overthrow the government of Dominica by some druggies and klukkers back in the 1980's.  It is apparently available on Google online for free.  Check out the book here

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Judge to Feds: Give up the DMR records

U.S. District Judge Keith Starrett told the U.S. Attorney to give up Department of Marine Resources public records sought by the Sun-Herald Friday.

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Saturday, December 21, 2013

Kim Strassel to GOP: Nature abhores a health care vacuum.

Kim Strassel gave some great advice to the GOP concerning Obamacare in a November Wall Street Journal column:

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Friday, December 20, 2013

HMA & Blue Cross kiss and make up

HMA just issued this press release:

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Senate race update

A conservative group released a poll this week that showed incumbent Senator Thad Cochran with a rather nice lead over State Senator Chris McDaniel.  Senator Cochran led the State Senator 54-37. The sample size was 710 voters and the margin of error was +/- 3.68%.  The crosstabs are posted below. However, a Human Events/Gravis poll showed them in a dead heat.

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Whose study is it? The Queen wants it, the County says no.

Plaintiffs who filed a lawsuit against the Lost Rabbit Development and Madison County tried to seal a Madison County study of the project last week after Madison Mayor Mary Hawkins-Butler filed a public records request for the study.   

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Jackson pushing for elected school boards

The Jackson City Council voted this week to ask the legislature to allow cities to elect school board members instead of the current method where board members are appointed. The city council passed a legislative agenda that stated:

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What did Dupree know and when did he know it?

Rachel Beech has been doing some knock-out reporting at WDAM on the latest scandal plaguing the Johnny Dupree administration in Hattiesburg: the misuse of government fuel cards. Seems these were treated as gift cards for the favored as her reporting reveals:

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Thursday, December 19, 2013

Lewis gets life for killing own mother

Hinds County District Attorney Robert Schuler Smith issued the following press release:

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Bonner case going to grand jury

JJ confirmed Rankin-Madison District Attorney Michael Guest will present the findings of the Abigail Bonner investigation to a grand jury next month.  The D.A. met with Madison police yesterday for several hours.  The Clarion Ledger reported today:

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It's official: Dr. Smith is nuts

Dr. Smith is officially nuts. A court ruled he was unfit to stand trial after spending some time at the state funny farm. The Greenwood Commonwealth reported:

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Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Bigger Pie: Kemper like Obamacare

Bigger Pie Forum Kelly Williams says Kemper is much like Obamacare in this latest column:

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Delta CEO: No phone calls in-flight

Thank goodness. Delta Airlines CEO Richard Anderson said no phone calls on the planes in this memo:

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Comegy out.

JSU fired head football coach Rick Comegy and his staff. Ouch. JSU went to five SWAC champeenship games under his tenure. JSU issued the following press release:

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WJNT this morning.

Jackson City Councilman Tony Yarber appeared on the show.  Had a lively discussion about Jackson, finances, and Christmas. 


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Madison homewatch program

JJ published a story this week about the Clinton homewatch program. Go out of town for Christmas. Notify the police. Police watch your home for you.  Some readers pointed out Madison offers a similar service.  The city provided this statement on the program.  IF there are other cities offering this service in the Jackson metro area, please let us know in the comments section. Thanks.

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Cecil Brown: Governor threatening future of our children.

Representative Cecil Brown (D-Geritol) submitted this column yesterday:

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The problems facing PERS and other pensions

Andrew Biggs published a very good essay in the Wall Street Journal Monday on the problems facing public pensions.  PERS discussions go over your head? Mr. Biggs argues public employee retirement systems such as PERS will face more problems as they are forced to make riskier bets in the stock market and gobble up more taxpayer dollars:

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Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Farewell to Buddy Deweese

He was 86 years young and will be missed by many. Here is his obit:

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Thoughts on the Executive Order (Updated)

I haven't kept up with the Common Core debate. Too much on my plate to take on another serious topic right now. However, the Governor's Executive Order yesterday got my attention to I thought I would read through it and make some remarks.

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Too funny

Saturday Night Live nails it again.

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Monday, December 16, 2013

The Guvnah issues another executive order

Governor Phil Bryant issued this press release and executive order concerning the Common Core curriculum today:

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Clinton PD will watch your home if gone for the holidays

The city of Clinton issued this press release:

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Terry coach charged with sexual battery of a child.

Terry High School coach Damien Anderson was charged with one count of exploitation of a child and two counts of sexual battery of a child on December 5 in Hinds County.  He was released on a $10,000 bond.  Mr. Anderson is 25 years-old.  He is a defensive coordinator for the football team. 

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Cory Wilson: The post-nuclear Senate

Our system of checks and balances was amended last week. Longstanding U.S. Senate rules were changed by the Democratic majority, on a straight party line vote. In a naked power grab, Senate Democrats have done away with the filibuster, though for the moment only for judicial and executive nominees. The change lowers the threshold for approving judges and senior Administration officials to a simple majority vote. Democrats exercised the so-called “nuclear option” they railed against when Republicans floated the idea.

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Electrical Lineman Seriously Injured On the Job Last Week

You may have read about the Southern Pines Electric Co. lineman who was seriously injured on the job last week (electrocution).  He is in the burn unit in a Memphis hospital.  His name is Jeremy White.

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Sunday, December 15, 2013

If you like your bank account, we can keep it for you

You just can't make this up.  You just can't. KGW in Portland reports:

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DFP: How Detroit went broke

The Detroit Free Press published a good story in September, How Detroit Went Broke: The answers may surprise you.  This story might be relevant, as Chokwe is importing Detroit talent into Jackson government. Enjoy.

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Hinds County Board of Supervisors Update

Tomorrows' meeting of the Hinds County Board of Supervisors should be interesting.  Agenda. Items of interest are:

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We report, you decide, Fight Club version

The Wingfield Fight Club drew quite a bit of interest last week.  It's no coincidence a similar story appeared on one local tv station a few days later.  Some readers accused this site of picking on Wingfield. Well, we take all such charges seriously so JJ decided to scan YouTube for other local high schools to see if there were more fight videos.* See for yourself.

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Saturday, December 14, 2013

Saturday night at the Fights: Someone's Madison Central version

Here is one fight from Madison Central floating around on YouTube.  It was posted two months ago and was the only one that popped up under "Madison Central Fights" search results. It is probably NOT our Madison Central but it's still entertaining. 

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Presenting the other health care proposals

The President and his followers like to use the common refrain "Where is the Republican health care plan" whenever Obamacare is criticized. I wrote a few days ago on this website I was going to start posting conservative health care plans offered up over the last few years.  Here is the first one.  We are going to start with the plan proffered by Senator John McCain during his 2008 presidential campaign. 

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Two months


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Friday, December 13, 2013

Mississippi Dems push Medicaid Expansion

 The Mississippi House Democratic Caucus issued the following press release:

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Still SLRPing

We dissected PERS a few weeks ago. Now it's time to look at SLRP.* You might remember SLRP- the Supplemental Legislative Retirement Program. Time and a half retirement pay for part-time employees, oops, I meant legislators.  It's true the part-time JPS bus drivers want a fat pay raise, but at least they work for their pay, unlike these pigs, oops again, I meant public servants, who feed at the public trough.  Cops, teachers, firemen, nurses, even lowly staff attorneys, all state employees, don't get this perk. 150% retirement pay.  Keep in mind legislators receive retirement benefits from SLRP and PERS.   Sweet deal if you can get it.

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Board member: State Superintendent admitted to school ratings fraud

Tom Burnham and Ken Thompson inflated ratings, said School Board member Bill Jones

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Thursday, December 12, 2013

GC: Leflore County schools "extremely bloated"

New Orleans schools were in such bad shape an auditor recommended blowing up the books and starting over from scratch prior to Hurricane Katrina as the records were almost non-existent. Apparently the Leflore County schools system is such a condition. The Greenwood Commonwealth reported:

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Stokes pontificates on voter ID

Election Commissioner Connie Cochran briefed the Hinds County Board of Supervisors on the implementation of voter ID last week.  However, Stokes being Stokes, he launched into several diatribes on the matter that were rather interesting. See for yourself.

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Another indictment in Canton

A Madison County grand jury indicted Cobby Williams for engaging in voter fraud. THe indictment states Mr. Williams illegally obtained the "registration of Pamela Rochelle Walker" as a voter even though she was not a registered voter due to a forgery conviction in 2011.

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Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Awesome

Check out this new Glock ad.

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Readus indicted for voter intimidation and trying to steal ballot box

 A Madison County grand jury indicted Kimberly "Baboon's ass"  Readus for voter intimidation, destroying an absentee ballot, and attempting to remove an unsealed ballot box.  Ms. Readus waived arraignment and posted a $20,000 bond.  She is represented by Ed Blackmon.

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Help this mutt!!!

From a reader who found a bloodhound on Ridgewood Road today:

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WJNT today

Pete Perry appeared and all we discussed was the Thad-Chris Thunderdome. Phones lit up and we probably could've done a second hour.

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Sticker shock? Who cares. Obamacare can get you the hookup.

Why worry about deductibles, premiums or subsidies when Obamacare can help you get laid? (Yes, I wrote that.) Here are some really cool ads for Obamacare that were promoted by the Colorado exchange:

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WSJ: Obamacare sticker shock

The Lady or The Tiger, which door to open? Or in this case, higher premiums or higher deductibles are a similar choice Americans face under Obamacare.  Leslie Scism and Timothy W. Martin report in the Wall Street Journal:

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Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Questions for the PM.

Too bad this type of debate can't take place here. Enjoy.

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Supes & Maintenance Director spar over assigning workers to jail. (Video)

The Hinds County Board of Supervisors reassigned three maintenance works to permanent duty at the Raymond detention center until further notice last week at its regular meeting. Supervisor Tony Greer moved to to transfer the workers but not without strong resistance from Supervisors Kenneth Stokes and Maintenance Director Michael Harrington.

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DPS gives $1 million no-bid contract to Frontier Strategies

The Department of Public Safety awarded a million-dollar media contract to Frontier Strategies in August. The contract is part of DPS's fight to stop drunk driving during the holidays. The campaign is paid for with only federal funds. No bids were solicited for the contract. Frontier agreed not to participate in the next bidding process for DPS contracts.

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Interesting.

Jackson Municipal Court Judge June Hardwick sent an email to the Magnolia Bar stating her concerns about the bus drivers strike:

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Monday, December 9, 2013

Library employee says Jim Crow reappears

Hinds County Supervisor Kenneth Stokes decided to bring the library scrum before the Board of Supervisors last week. The Hinds County Library System hired a new Executive Director this year but the hire drew no small amount of flack as an employee complained she was not given the chance to apply for the job. She vigorously presented her case to the board last week as you will see in the video below. Haven't kept up with this dispute so I don't know much about it. However, another employee (who was white) repeatedly accused the library system of bringing back Jim Crow segregation(15:10).

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DMR update: Stacey is as Stacey does

The battle between the Sun-Herald and State Auditor Stacey Pickering over DMR records raged in Harrison County Chancellor Jennifer Schloegel's courtroom as the newspaper sought to hold Mr. Pickering in contempt of court. The Sun-Herald reported:

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Obamacare roundup

Yes, you can keep your doctor. but.......remember when we argued over what is "is"?  Get ready for more of the same:

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Sunday, December 8, 2013

Southwest problem solved.

We don't need the Megabus.  Don't need Southwest to stay.  JJ found the perfect solution to this problem:

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Latest crime stats

Here are the last crime stats for Jackson, Byram, Madison, Clinton, and Rankin County. Jackson does not post them anymore on the city website.

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Saturday, December 7, 2013

The Wingfield Fight Club

Here are some videos of fights at Wingfield High School available online. They all say Wingfield Fights although it is not confirmed these fights all took place at or around the school.  These videos were posted in 2012 and 2013.

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Friday, December 6, 2013

Getting closer


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Wal-Mart coming to Byram

City of Byram just issued a press release:

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He's running. (Updated)

A little bird just told me Senator Thad Cochran notified his staff he is indeed running for re-election.  A very reliable little bird.  Time for some Senate Thunderdome.

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WSJ: Obamacare rules hit small businesses

The Wall Street Journal reported the new "aggregation rules" under Obamacare are not exactly welcomed by small business. Simply put, the government counts all businesses owned by an individual as one business when counting towards the 50-employee threshold. Ownership means partial or full, the size of the ownership apparently does not matter.  The Journal stated:

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Southwest gone

Southwest Airlines announced yesterday it is pulling out of the Jackson market:

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Tate Reeves: Working for you.



This post is a paid advertisement.

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Thursday, December 5, 2013

Chip Pickering to lead trade association

Former Congressman Chip Pickering will become the CEO at COMPTEL the trade association for the telecommunications industry. COMPTEL announced on its website:

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Police report: Senator John Horhn does his best Moe Green imitation, minus the cheerleaders.

Bad Boy Senator John Hohrn was apparently a very bad boy when he was arrested for a DUI several weeks ago according to a copy of the police report of his arrest on November 14.* Mr. Horhn's bad boy self was on full display that night as he pulled the "do you know who I am card", threatened the police officers, repeatedly told them he led a crime fighting summit that night, and made sure they knew he knew the chief.

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AG issues opinion on carrying firearms on public property

Attorney General Jim Hood said the "open-carry" of firearms can be restricted on public property in an opinion issued to the city of Corinth. However, the Attorney General also enhanced permit holders could still carry firearms on public property as "a municipality has limited authority to prohibit" them from doing so.

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50 years!

Rankin-Madison District Attorney Michael Guest issued the following press release:

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Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Cory's out.

Cory Wilson decides not to run in the June special election for  Madison County Chancery Clerk.  He sent the following statement to Jackson Jambalaya:

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Morgan Stanley loses local arbitration case

TWO NORTHSIDERS are part of a group that won a $388,000 award in an arbitration against the local Morgan Stanley office, and five more arbitrations are coming down the pipeline.

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Bigger Pie: Kemper an "imprudent decision"

Kemper: A political decision in 2006, an imprudent 2010 PSC decision based on guesses by Southern/MPC, extremely slow acknowledgement of actual plant costs, an extremely imprudent 2012 new PSC certification of Kemper followed by rapid, massive adjustments to plant costs once major legislative and regulatory approvals were in hand...

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Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Jackson denies requests for Senator Horhn police report

The city of Jackson denied a public records request for a copy of the police incident report for Senator John Horhn's recent DUI arrest submitted by this website.  City Attorney Latrice Westbrook stated in an email denying the request:

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Thinking of getting your child an Ipad?

Little Johnny wants an Ipad for Christmas? Getting him one may not be the best idea as research in the UK shows some unwanted consequences when too much technology is introduced into a child's life.  The Daily Mail reported:

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Monday, December 2, 2013

Another break in Paradise

Just another water line break in Eastover....

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Which local restaurants earned C's from the Dept. of Health?

Here are the C's for restaurants in the Jackson area since October 1 as issued by the Mississippi Department of Health*.  The state issues grades of A,B, or C.

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Governor Allain just passed.

JJ just received word that former Governor Bill Allain just passed away.

Updates: Here are press releases on the Governor's passing:

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The Mississippi Education Lobby: follow the money

 The old saying "follow the money" definitely holds true when discussing the education lobby in Mississippi, as it becomes apparent there is quite a bit of money at stake for these organizations.  Wonder why they fight reform efforts so hard?  Look at how much money is at stake in the diagram I created and posted below.  The diagram will show the relationships and money flowing between these groups.   

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Sunday, December 1, 2013

Yes, they did.

Yes, the Gators did it again yesterday.  I'm not making this up.

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Sun-Herald seeks contempt against State Auditor

The Sun-Herald asked a Gulf Coast Chancellor to hold State Auditor Stacey Pickering in contempt of court:

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EPA backs off 15% ethanol. Guess which Mississippi Senator was its friend.

Ethanol policy is a perfect example of how dysfunctional Washington is.  The ethanol mandate takes 40% of the corn harvest out of food production.  Food prices thus rise.  Ethanol costs more money.  It uses more energy.  It ruins small engines.  It produces lower gas mileage.  However,  little is done to change ethanol policy as a confluence of Iowan presidential politics, Big Ag, and other forces work together to keep this insanity in place.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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